20 Things You Should Never Say To A Natural

CaptureSo you finally got relaxers off your back, out of your wallet, and out of your precious mane. You have reduced the use of flat irons and have really started loving your curls and kinks. You have accepted yourself as a naturalista and you are enjoying every moment of it.

Now that more and more women are making the decision to have natural hair, it seems that having natural hair is the topic of many discussions weekly and maybe sometimes even daily. Not only does natural hair attract unwanted strangers to touch and pull it, but crazy questions are asked and unnecessary comments are given without solicitation almost as if we have no feelings or emotions.

Personally, it’s not just strangers at the market giving sarcastic remarks about natural hair or even coworkers whispering to another in a business meeting, “I can’t see the prompter because of Christina’s big hair.” Unfortunately, family members would throw in their two cents about how they ‘feel’ about natural hair as well.

Have you ever had your mother with a relaxer say to you, “Wow, your hair is shape like a hat or is that a hat?” I mean really mother? Really? You would think that you would have the support of your family members, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out the way you planned it and people are just plain insensitive.

I mean if you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say it! I think there needs to be an etiquette class for those who don’t know how to act around a woman with natural hair: Don’t say these things to a woman with natural hair!

Now the following comments are based on my own experiences that I just thought I share, but I’m sure you may have heard one or maybe even ten of these:

1. For those who just went natural…”But, but you looked so pretty before…”


2. “Wow, you can do a lot of styles with that type of hair, huh?”

3. “Are you giving up flat irons too?”

4. “Girl, I don’t think I could go natural…it’s not for me.”

5. “Of course you can go natural…you have that ‘good’ grade of hair.”

6. “Is this what you were trying to go for?”

7. While coming at you with their hands, “I want to touch it…can I touch it?”

8. “Are you going to church like THAT?”

9. “Okay? But I think you would look cute with…”

Prev Page1 of 2

About Christina J


Hey there! My name is Christina J. I am a healthy hair advocate and have been natural since October 2012. In June 2014, I decided to start my blog, Desire My Natural! to document my hair journey and other fun topics (family, health, inspiration, more). As I share, help, encourage, and support others in their healthy hair journey, I am continuing my own.

About Christina J


Hey there! My name is Christina J. I am a healthy hair advocate and have been natural since October 2012. In June 2014, I decided to start my blog, Desire My Natural! to document my hair journey and other fun topics (family, health, inspiration, more). As I share, help, encourage, and support others in their healthy hair journey, I am continuing my own.

ENJOYED THIS POST? JOIN OUR NEWSLETTER!

Sign Up Now




Comments

  1. Deanna Merritt Ross
    Deanna Merritt Ross

    I don’t mind people asking to touch my hair. They’re just curious. I can totally agree with the other’s though. Unfortunately, for me, the negative remarks gave come from other African Americans. People of other ethnic groups love my hair and are very interested in how I style it.

    1. Christina J Post author

      Hey there Shalonda! So there’s a story behind that: “Are you going against the Eurocentric status of what beauty is?” (Shor Version) I went to Hanover College for undergrad and took up the class Race and Ethnics in Society….oh! did I mention I was 1 out of 4 black people there with 400 white students AND most came from Southern Indy WHERE they haven’t had contact with any black people. Soooo we were talkin about assimilation (group of people take on the social and culture aspects of the major group). So I had my TWA. And during class a student asked me that question and everyone in class including the professor had a shocked look on their face. I was thinking, “WTH! What in your funky mind made you really think and ask me that during class?” But I said with a straight face, “Eurocentric meaning white right? Just because white people have a certain standard and status of what beauty is and I wear my hair a certain way doesn’t mean I’m going against it. This is my hair and my hair is beautiful. And you need to check yourself before you ask a question like that…” I shut the whole class operation down. But yea ask me questions but think about what you gonna say before you ask it. It’s just courtesy. Hope this helps!

  2. Kashmere Noel
    Kashmere Noel

    19. “I understand. My wavy hair gives me hard times too…” If they said “wavy” I wouldn’t mind, it’s when they say curly and their hair has like TWO waves in it… I’m like “girl please, you don’t know what curly is!”

  3. Johnna Williams Nash
    Johnna Williams Nash

    When you get a weave or straighten “see, I like how you look when your hair is like this” (so I only look good when I manipulate my hair to be in another form)

  4. T

    I think the worst one my mother said to me was “naturals are all lazy b_tches because if they did their hair! they wouldn’t look like that!” When I broke it down to her about all the products and time it takes to grow healthy natural hair and that we all have DIFFERENT curls depending on what GOD liked on us (good enough for God, why not for us too?!), she tried to say “so? What does that have to do with it?! Well I say they’re lazy and you just went natural so you don’t know anything!” Meanwhile she’s never been natural, she even thinks her 3b hair is the same as 4c hair and her transitioning hair is completely natural so she only knows how to care for relaxed hair.

  5. Valerie Baxter

    Hair should always be neat and oiled. The above natural looks like she just got out of bed. Back in the day, the naturals or Afros were always on point or you got talked about.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *