Does Your Man Like Your Natural Hair And Do You Care?

Does your man like your natural hair

Well, does he? And yes, do you ACTUALLY CARE? I find this topic or problem perplexing on so many levels. I mean…why are we even having this discussion in the first place?

OK, I get it. Your man, husband, boyfriend, significant other is important to you so what they think about you matters. So this two part question is a real-life dilemma for some women who are considering going natural, already going natural or who have been natural for a while.

Does your man like your natural hair?

I know this is kind of a loaded question since there could be a deeper meaning behind it like, who’s asking and what’s their ulterior motive? Are they hating on your hair or do they know your man and knows what he likes?

Well, scratch all that. It’s me asking and I’m just inquiring because apparently this can become an obstacle for some women when deciding to go natural. Let me start with a story I want to share.

A co-worker of mine wanted needed to go natural because her hair was breaking off badly. Her real problem was heat along with relaxing. She used a curling iron or a flat iron regularly but her hair was paying the price.


She decided to stop straightening her hair and allow it to curl naturally. It was beautiful, or at least I thought it was. She wore a curly fro like she did back in the day (she was older than me and actually had a fro back in the 70’s). Yet, she was self-conscious on how she looked despite what me and others in the office were saying. We all loved her hair.

Her hair was thriving, the breakage and thinning hair problem was disappearing. Happy ending, right? WRONG. After about a couple of months she was back to flat-ironing and using the curling iron. Her husband didn’t like her curly fro and preferred straight styles.

She had tried to appease him by wearing straight wigs but changed her mind and went back to what she knew he loved. I was shocked. Shocked at him and shocked at her but I kept my mouth shut. It wasn’t my place nor my relationship.

My opinion

I’m sorry but I’m not going bald for ANYBODY. My thinning hair was one of the reasons I went natural and the thought of going bald outside of an illness is sheer madness to me. I’m sure she told him her hair was breaking off or at least I hope she did. When does preference become abusive? I think it does when your preference harms me in some way.

Originally posted 2014-02-26 15:00:15.

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About Sabrina Perkins


Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, http://www.seriouslynatural.org/ where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at www.seriouslynatural.spreadshirt.com

About Sabrina Perkins


Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, http://www.seriouslynatural.org/ where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at www.seriouslynatural.spreadshirt.com

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Kourtney Lewis

Yes he does. And I hate it lol because I don’t like wearing fros but he wants my fro out all of the time

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

LOL. He love that fro, huh? Good for you.

Marjorie

To be honest with you Sabrina, I agree with you to a point. But to say all women should feel like you do, I disagree. For one thing, I am sure if a woman has a real reason to have a fro like her hair is coming out, her husband would understand. In reading your letter, you need to understand there are a lot of women who are, not just wanting a mate, but are desperate for a mate. All of us have different needs. Be careful, because that women with the mortgage and children may not be working, and if her husband leaves her because of her hair, then I don’t think her hair is going to be the top priority. Now if it is not just an I want thing and a need thing, she could make a deal like I did some years ago, I liked my hair short which is how my hair was when I met my husband, but when I got pregnant I let it grow out, which my hair is a nice length, close to half down my back. My husband loved it, but I like short so we cut a deal I wore it 5 years for me and 5 years for him. As he grew older it stopped being a concern for him. So prethink such statements like everybody should think let me, everybody doesn’t have your circumstance, I am just saying you are young, be careful. Have your feelings, state them, but don’t have women thinking they are stupid because they don’t think like you do.

HRHJonie
HRHJonie

Well said Marjorie, Sounds like a comment I made a few years ago when I got bored of hearing Beyonces back to back releases of man hating albums e.g All the Single Ladies, Irreplacable e.t.c while she is canoodling with her JayZ

Princess Farris

I could care less what he likes!

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

LMAO! I get it. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.

Quintina Green

Yes he does!!!

Jeanette
Jeanette

2nd that. I could care less too

Deansha Edwards

AMEN/!!!!!

Kimberly
Kimberly

lmbo, I agree!!! Going natural for me started out as health reason, but that changed as I realized how empowering it was for me. Now after transitioning for 11 months and 2year(4/16) all natural I’m so glad I did it. I did it for me and only me. Natural for life!

'Kim Price'

Mine wanted me to return natural before I did….he loves it!! 🙂

Liz Marie Maysonet Sostre

loves it. but my hair is my choice. if he didn’t like it, too bad. lol

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Understood.

Milicent Gadgetgeek White

Take all of me or have none of me. Those are his options.

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Yes ma’am!

Uche
Uche

My sentiments exactly!

Jessica Flanigan

He likes the natural state & when I wear weaves/wigs. He’s not a picky man at all…he just wants me to look good to him…lol.

Janet Goodwin

He sure does …. SOOOOO SOFT !!!!!

Ray Plowden

Why be with a man that acting like that. Thats some controlling shit there. My in natural hair, I LOVE YOU BOO. My baby in a weave, I LOVE YOU BOO, I just cant touch it, pull on it from behind (y’all know what I mean). Or get it wet.

Elaine Smith

He said he doesn’t but once I style it outside of the normal style he’s hand mysteriously find themselves in my head.

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Actions speak louder than words.

Jennifer Nicole Parks

My husband doesn’t mind me being natural but he doesn’t want me walking around with a fro on my head.

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Yea, I get it. My husband doesn’t like cornrows so I never wear them and that’s fine with me.

CaMecia Parks McLean

My hubby prefers my hair relaxed. But he realized that I was serious about going natural. Now that it has been almost 2 years he had started playing with my natural locks and I think he gets more anxious than I do when I try out a new style. So even though he doesn’t prefer it, he had learned to accept it and supports me with it

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Yes, because he loves you and that’s what’s important.

Deon DRuth

yea he does Damion Campbell 🙂

Tamara BooGotti Thompkins

My honey loves it

Delena Campbell

My choice don’t Care

Patricia Hunt

yes i am glad

Stacie Hart

My hubby encourage me to go Natural!!! Aint that something…

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Ain’t nothing wrong with that!

Kiana Doitbetterthanu Hubbard

He loves it. He just doesn’t like when I do some of the twist out processes.. he says I look like I came fresh out the field lol

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

I love that wild look. Love it to death. LOL

Shay Hammonds

Yes but I don’t because my hair is soooo thick and I hate doing it…but I’m glad he likes it

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

It will get better.

Nnenna Carr

Mine says he likes it but I am about 98% sure he is lying to not hurt my feelings. I care what he feels though. I always want my man to be attracted to me, while I won’t change who I am. I am willing to compromise.

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Understood but he loves you more than your hair and taht’s a good thing.

Shahidah Rahman

yep…. He’ll say “whatever makes you happy babe”… im like okaaay.. But i “try” to keep it styled and nice sassy/sexy look… Thats what matters…. how its maintained/ managed

Angela Mims

Yes and No but I’m still sexy and healthy so He still Loves me 🙂

Elizabeth Jordan

Amen Princess Farris. IM SINGLE BUT ANY MAN WHO DOES NOT WILL NOT BE MINE!!!

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

That’s right. start a relationship off correctly.

Aj IssoIntelligent

Mine loves it and the more I wear it natural I’m falling in love with my hair.

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Good for you!

Priscilla Gibson-Crump

My girlfriend is getting used to it she says she likes it ……I jus went natural a few days ago …..

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Welcome to the journey!

Sheki Williams

I dont care what he like or dont like!..its my hair on my head & i will wear it accordingly to how I like it!

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

I feel ya.

Rosa Broddie

He did not at first….now he is into it. I did it for me….Not him!!!

Julia Lee

It would baffle me if he didn’t like my natural hair, because I would simply ask him, what type of hair do you think you have?!?! #TheSameAsIDo…..

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Ain’t that the truth. Good way to deal with it.

Mary Awino

Lol

ÄngeyMiss M-t Pocketzz Beau-Art

the ultimative “i couldn´t care less” topic!!!

Carol Kern Allen

I wouldn’t care….

Danielle Danni Knighton

I have to do what’s best for me, and what makes me happy. He’s in a relationship with me, not my hair.

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Exactly! I want to say that to the women who have issues with their men over their hair but some women really worry about that.

Sharon Aldrich

Idc! If a man or anybody likes my hair I pay for it to get done whatever way I want so no one has the right to comment!! My hair my money! That it!

Patrice Foh Barnes

He loves it but won’t let me use weaves and braids as a protective style…

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

LOL. they do have thier issues.

Serena Wheeler

I have locs, my guy not really into them, but he dont say much about them, it doesnt matter tho, its my hair and my choice!!

Monjae Trubeauty Washington

Yes he does!!! He luv the styles and scalp massages omg he is da bestest!!!

Inetta DeJarnett Bostock

My hubby loves my kinks! I was actually quite surprised 🙂

Rukia Love

My hair my rules

Lisa Lincoln

My husband doesn’t mind me being natural but he doesn’t like TWA’s, so I’m transitioning 🙁

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Hey, he’s working with you and that’s perfectly OK.

Alia Michelle

Mine does actually 🙂

Yvonne Louise

Its not him modeling it frm it look good its what u like

Robin Mafudze

My husband loves it. When it’s natural he can’t keep his hands out of it.

Tanika Wade

Yes, he loves it

Deanna Merritt Ross

He loves it! Discourages any talk of straightening it.

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

Mine does that now too.

Monique Pettus

My husband doesn’t care as long as I don’t cut it

Iris Brock

It doesn’t matter to me either way but my husband looooooves my natural hair!

Tiffany G. Wilson

He loves it. He met me with it flat ironed but loved it more natural. He’s started to grow his hair out because of me.

Mikkia Ayers

Mines don’t but I love he will be ok

Kisha Gandy

He didn’t at first…now thats its growing get makes a comment every now and then..I get more compliments from strangers

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

He’ll come around. Give it time.

Regenna Gatewood Reid

Not at all and reminded me every chance he got I’ve been natural 11yrs he got used to me flatironing my hair one day i just stopped lol

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

He’s still with you so that means something.

Dabney Ross Jones

He loves it! If your man doesn’t love your hair he needs a change in perspective. If he can’t see your beauty no matter what he should not be your man. He is not seeing the real you.

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

So true.

Mischelle Sowell

He loves it!!! He encourages me to keep it natural says he loves it this way.

Sabrina Richmond Perkins

I’m finding more and more men are being very vocal aobut our nautral hair and many love it.

Lakeshia Pittman

Yes!! Robert Pittman Jr. Loves it!!!

Felicia Inmyhappyspacedonotdisturb Captain

I tell ’em you wear weave and a wig and then I’ll wear mine too! other than that if he’s rockin’ all natural so am I

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