Does Your Man Like Your Natural Hair And Do You Care?

Does your man like your natural hair

Well, does he? And yes, do you ACTUALLY CARE? I find this topic or problem perplexing on so many levels. I mean…why are we even having this discussion in the first place?

OK, I get it. Your man, husband, boyfriend, significant other is important to you so what they think about you matters. So this two part question is a real-life dilemma for some women who are considering going natural, already going natural or who have been natural for a while.

Does your man like your natural hair?

I know this is kind of a loaded question since there could be a deeper meaning behind it like, who’s asking and what’s their ulterior motive? Are they hating on your hair or do they know your man and knows what he likes?

Well, scratch all that. It’s me asking and I’m just inquiring because apparently this can become an obstacle for some women when deciding to go natural. Let me start with a story I want to share.

A co-worker of mine wanted needed to go natural because her hair was breaking off badly. Her real problem was heat along with relaxing. She used a curling iron or a flat iron regularly but her hair was paying the price.


She decided to stop straightening her hair and allow it to curl naturally. It was beautiful, or at least I thought it was. She wore a curly fro like she did back in the day (she was older than me and actually had a fro back in the 70’s). Yet, she was self-conscious on how she looked despite what me and others in the office were saying. We all loved her hair.

Her hair was thriving, the breakage and thinning hair problem was disappearing. Happy ending, right? WRONG. After about a couple of months she was back to flat-ironing and using the curling iron. Her husband didn’t like her curly fro and preferred straight styles.

She had tried to appease him by wearing straight wigs but changed her mind and went back to what she knew he loved. I was shocked. Shocked at him and shocked at her but I kept my mouth shut. It wasn’t my place nor my relationship.

My opinion

I’m sorry but I’m not going bald for ANYBODY. My thinning hair was one of the reasons I went natural and the thought of going bald outside of an illness is sheer madness to me. I’m sure she told him her hair was breaking off or at least I hope she did. When does preference become abusive? I think it does when your preference harms me in some way.

Originally posted 2014-02-26 15:00:15.

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About Sabrina Perkins


Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, http://www.seriouslynatural.org/ where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at www.seriouslynatural.spreadshirt.com

About Sabrina Perkins


Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, http://www.seriouslynatural.org/ where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at www.seriouslynatural.spreadshirt.com

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Comments

  1. Kourtney Lewis
    Kourtney Lewis

    Yes he does. And I hate it lol because I don’t like wearing fros but he wants my fro out all of the time

      1. Marjorie

        To be honest with you Sabrina, I agree with you to a point. But to say all women should feel like you do, I disagree. For one thing, I am sure if a woman has a real reason to have a fro like her hair is coming out, her husband would understand. In reading your letter, you need to understand there are a lot of women who are, not just wanting a mate, but are desperate for a mate. All of us have different needs. Be careful, because that women with the mortgage and children may not be working, and if her husband leaves her because of her hair, then I don’t think her hair is going to be the top priority. Now if it is not just an I want thing and a need thing, she could make a deal like I did some years ago, I liked my hair short which is how my hair was when I met my husband, but when I got pregnant I let it grow out, which my hair is a nice length, close to half down my back. My husband loved it, but I like short so we cut a deal I wore it 5 years for me and 5 years for him. As he grew older it stopped being a concern for him. So prethink such statements like everybody should think let me, everybody doesn’t have your circumstance, I am just saying you are young, be careful. Have your feelings, state them, but don’t have women thinking they are stupid because they don’t think like you do.

        1. HRHJonie

          Well said Marjorie, Sounds like a comment I made a few years ago when I got bored of hearing Beyonces back to back releases of man hating albums e.g All the Single Ladies, Irreplacable e.t.c while she is canoodling with her JayZ

    1. Kimberly

      lmbo, I agree!!! Going natural for me started out as health reason, but that changed as I realized how empowering it was for me. Now after transitioning for 11 months and 2year(4/16) all natural I’m so glad I did it. I did it for me and only me. Natural for life!

  2. Jessica Flanigan
    Jessica Flanigan

    He likes the natural state & when I wear weaves/wigs. He’s not a picky man at all…he just wants me to look good to him…lol.

  3. Ray Plowden
    Ray Plowden

    Why be with a man that acting like that. Thats some controlling shit there. My in natural hair, I LOVE YOU BOO. My baby in a weave, I LOVE YOU BOO, I just cant touch it, pull on it from behind (y’all know what I mean). Or get it wet.

  4. Elaine Smith
    Elaine Smith

    He said he doesn’t but once I style it outside of the normal style he’s hand mysteriously find themselves in my head.

  5. CaMecia Parks McLean
    CaMecia Parks McLean

    My hubby prefers my hair relaxed. But he realized that I was serious about going natural. Now that it has been almost 2 years he had started playing with my natural locks and I think he gets more anxious than I do when I try out a new style. So even though he doesn’t prefer it, he had learned to accept it and supports me with it

  6. Shay Hammonds
    Shay Hammonds

    Yes but I don’t because my hair is soooo thick and I hate doing it…but I’m glad he likes it

  7. Nnenna Carr
    Nnenna Carr

    Mine says he likes it but I am about 98% sure he is lying to not hurt my feelings. I care what he feels though. I always want my man to be attracted to me, while I won’t change who I am. I am willing to compromise.

  8. Shahidah Rahman
    Shahidah Rahman

    yep…. He’ll say “whatever makes you happy babe”… im like okaaay.. But i “try” to keep it styled and nice sassy/sexy look… Thats what matters…. how its maintained/ managed

  9. Sheki Williams
    Sheki Williams

    I dont care what he like or dont like!..its my hair on my head & i will wear it accordingly to how I like it!

  10. Julia Lee
    Julia Lee

    It would baffle me if he didn’t like my natural hair, because I would simply ask him, what type of hair do you think you have?!?! #TheSameAsIDo…..

  11. Sharon Aldrich
    Sharon Aldrich

    Idc! If a man or anybody likes my hair I pay for it to get done whatever way I want so no one has the right to comment!! My hair my money! That it!

  12. Serena Wheeler
    Serena Wheeler

    I have locs, my guy not really into them, but he dont say much about them, it doesnt matter tho, its my hair and my choice!!

  13. Lisa Lincoln
    Lisa Lincoln

    My husband doesn’t mind me being natural but he doesn’t like TWA’s, so I’m transitioning 🙁

  14. Tiffany G. Wilson
    Tiffany G. Wilson

    He loves it. He met me with it flat ironed but loved it more natural. He’s started to grow his hair out because of me.

  15. Kisha Gandy
    Kisha Gandy

    He didn’t at first…now thats its growing get makes a comment every now and then..I get more compliments from strangers

  16. Regenna Gatewood Reid
    Regenna Gatewood Reid

    Not at all and reminded me every chance he got I’ve been natural 11yrs he got used to me flatironing my hair one day i just stopped lol

  17. Dabney Ross Jones
    Dabney Ross Jones

    He loves it! If your man doesn’t love your hair he needs a change in perspective. If he can’t see your beauty no matter what he should not be your man. He is not seeing the real you.

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