Well, does he? And yes, do you ACTUALLY CARE? I find this topic or problem perplexing on so many levels. I mean…why are we even having this discussion in the first place?
OK, I get it. Your man, husband, boyfriend, significant other is important to you so what they think about you matters. So this two part question is a real-life dilemma for some women who are considering going natural, already going natural or who have been natural for a while.
Does your man like your natural hair?
I know this is kind of a loaded question since there could be a deeper meaning behind it like, who’s asking and what’s their ulterior motive? Are they hating on your hair or do they know your man and knows what he likes?
Well, scratch all that. It’s me asking and I’m just inquiring because apparently this can become an obstacle for some women when deciding to go natural. Let me start with a story I want to share.
A co-worker of mine wanted needed to go natural because her hair was breaking off badly. Her real problem was heat along with relaxing. She used a curling iron* or a flat iron* regularly but her hair was paying the price.
She decided to stop straightening her hair and allow it to curl naturally. It was beautiful, or at least I thought it was. She wore a curly fro like she did back in the day (she was older than me and actually had a fro back in the 70’s). Yet, she was self-conscious on how she looked despite what me and others in the office were saying. We all loved her hair.
Her hair was thriving, the breakage and thinning hair problem was disappearing. Happy ending, right? WRONG. After about a couple of months she was back to flat-ironing and using the curling iron*. Her husband didn’t like her curly fro and preferred straight styles.
She had tried to appease him by wearing straight wigs* but changed her mind and went back to what she knew he loved. I was shocked. Shocked at him and shocked at her but I kept my mouth shut. It wasn’t my place nor my relationship.
I’m sorry but I’m not going bald for ANYBODY. My thinning hair was one of the reasons I went natural and the thought of going bald outside of an illness is sheer madness to me. I’m sure she told him her hair was breaking off or at least I hope she did. When does preference become abusive? I think it does when your preference harms me in some way.