9 Hair Questions to Ask A Prospective Beau

black manSo obviously, if you are here you are interested in black hair care; maybe you want to know how to grow it long and strong, or you’re just a little intrigued by the whole hair community and are curious about what we do. Either way, I figure that women can always use relationship advice especially if you are a natural, transitioning or contemplating transitioning.

In recent times, we’ve come across various accounts of women lamenting that their significant other hates their natural hair, or guys complaining that they hooked up with Rapunzel and now have to contend with someone somewhat reminiscent of a bald headed Popeye.

They hate the kinks and coils and have no love for the process of transitioning. Well in this post we will discuss screening out the undesirable hopefuls before they get a foot in the gate. Sometimes we can ferret out a prospective beau’s expectations with a few questions. If your natural hair is a priority to you, you might want to consider these 10 hair questions to before he gets the green light.

What Makes a Woman Beautiful to You?

This question is kind of safe territory for him because most men have an idea of what they want, and at the very least, he should be able to let you know what he finds visually appealing.

If he’s feeling himself he might think you are asking so that you can measure up against his standards to see if you make the grade. He might not anticipate the grueling questions to follow but make him no wiser. The more relaxed he is, the more spontaneous and honest his answers should be.

Listen out to see if he is brainwashed into thinking only the traditional European beauty standards apply. If that’s the case, that’s a red flag.


If he doesn’t mention hair, ask questions to pull it out of him. If he refers to a woman’s hair in a derogatory way or use disparaging remarks in a general way when talking about natural hair, you might want to take that as a red flag. If he is a Mac Daddy who notices you are natural or may be asking because it has something to do with you, he may think up some crafty response to win your approval and get in under the radar so watch out.

When I Say Natural Hair, what Comes to Mind?

Again, this is a bit general; safe territory for him since you haven’t asked him about yourself specifically. Listen to how he responds; does he show indifference to natural hair? Watch his expressions.

Does he look like he is going to choke on the word natural? Your purpose for asking is to ascertain if he is comfortable talking about natural hair. Bare in mind that some men are O.K with soft, well-defined natural curls but not the kinks or coils when you are analyzing his response.

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About Marsha Buchanan


As a Jamaican girl raised in a devout church family headed by my mother, I have always had my natural hair, no chemical processing. After years of mistreating it , often ignorant of that fact, I began my healthy hair journey in January 2013 in fact, I have seen to it that my entire household falls in line where this is concerned. When I am not poring over some hair blog or forum I spend my time teaching English to rowdy high school students (ok maybe I have some little sweethearts in the mix), mothering the most adorable two year old on this globe, or rushing to meet the deadline for a writing project on Elance. In my spare time I enjoy a stroll along the beach with my doting husband.

About Marsha Buchanan


As a Jamaican girl raised in a devout church family headed by my mother, I have always had my natural hair, no chemical processing. After years of mistreating it , often ignorant of that fact, I began my healthy hair journey in January 2013 in fact, I have seen to it that my entire household falls in line where this is concerned. When I am not poring over some hair blog or forum I spend my time teaching English to rowdy high school students (ok maybe I have some little sweethearts in the mix), mothering the most adorable two year old on this globe, or rushing to meet the deadline for a writing project on Elance. In my spare time I enjoy a stroll along the beach with my doting husband.

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Celeste Jackman Recent comment authors
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Celeste Jackman

Good questions