What would you do if you received that note from a teacher about your daughter? I had a pretty interesting discussion about it on my own Facebook page and I have to be honest, I would have been offended.
I know there is a theory out there that black people get offended at everything but for me, I take anything about my child pretty seriously so maybe, in this case, a phone call would have been better.
Read the story via yahoo:
Monday when Tionna Norris, a Chicago parent, shared on Facebook that she got a note from her daughter Amia’s teacher, asking her to stop using as much coconut oil* in her daughter’s hair.
“I understand the necessary of coconut* oil on Amia’s hair, but please do not use as much. The children were complaining that her hair “stinks.” If you have to apply this daily — please do so lightly, so the kids don’t tease her. Thank you for understanding.”
Norris’s daughter has kinky*-curly hair, which needs lots of moisture to be healthy. If hair with that particular texture is not moisturized regularly, it can cause breakage.
Norris posted an image of the letter side-by-side with a snap of her daughter’s (admittedly fresh-looking) hairstyle, which included a side braid and a crown of seriously gorgeous curls. And her caption for the photo confirmed that she had no intention of taking the teacher’s advice.
“*applies the same amount of coconut oil* y’all gone feel that black girl magic. Sincerely, unapologetically black mom. P.s. Coconut oil* has no stinky smell.”
In my own discussions, some of the women suggested that coconut* oil does in fact, have a smell and that it might not be pleasing to the other children or to the teacher.
Others were saying that regardless of what the child’s hair smelled like the note was unnecessary. I agree with that but what do you all think? Comment below!
Really? People be over stepping boundaries seriously
This was handled all kinds of wrong. If the teachers concern was truly that the girl is being teased, she could have just sent a note letting the mom know that kids are teasing her daughter because of the smell of her hair. Even still… if she’s being teased, the problem is the kids, not the girls hair. But to send a note home telling her how to care for the child’s hair?… No ma’am. Know you’re place, and it is not in my child’s head.
PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!
Didn’t the note let the mom know that the kids are teasing? Because thats what I read….and the kids are the problem yes but the point is most kids dont have the strenght to go “that’s their problem not mine” she could legit go home crying because she is being teased…
She’s dead serious. Unfortunately. If those kids are teasing it sounds like their parents lack the competency to even teach their children basic respect and manners. Seems they lack the intelligence to educate their children on this diverse world that comes with people of all types of skin,hair,weight,shapes ect. This child nor mother is to blame here. PERIOD!!
The teacher did exactly what she is supposed to do. She sent a parent a private note informing her of a situation with her child. It told her exactly what was happening and why. Rather than address it, mom decides to go to Facebook and try to prove to social media that her child’s hair looks good.
While the kids at school are bullying her child, at least her hair looks cute. It might smell bad but it looks cute.
Don’t come to the school complaining about the bullying because she’s already said what’s more important.
If I can prevent my child from unnecessary pain by changing out some spoiled coconut oil, using less of it, and washing my child’s hair more often then that’s what I’m doing. It doesn’t matter whose problem it is, it’s my child who’s hurting.
Amen! I’m shocked no one is thinking of the child & her feelings. I think I would have tried a different type of oil with a less pungent smell to preserve the feelings of my child. I, personally like the smell of coconut oil.
The note yes … THE ADVICE to use LESS ….. not her place …. we just gone ASSUME The oil was spoiled …. I don’t like the smell of wet hair and many shampoos that other people use … can I SUGGEST others not wash their hair daily ??
I’ve NEVER heard of coconut oil smelling bad….
So you would let your child be bullied in school cause you to damn proud and arrogant to take advice. I would be damned if you were my mom. S**t.
But coconut oil does that have a smell. And why can’t parents complain about bullying? How about we punish the kids who are doing the bullying???
I’ve read the original post, and the woman who wrote it went into the school and it wasn’t the students that had an issue with it, it was the teacher. Saying she was “physically ill” to the point she had to stand across the room to reach because the smell was “so bad.”
Tiffany Jarrett coconut oil is a food product. When it’s unrefined it has a strong coconut smell. When it spoils that smell can be repugnant. It’s rarely an issue if you’re buying a small jar and using it frequently. However it does spoil.
What difference does it make if the teacher made a suggestion that she use less of it? She either takes the advice or she doesn’t. It has nothing to do with “place”.
This isn’t about a grown woman’s preference of shampoo, it’s about a child in the teacher’s classroom who might have an issue she wants to head off.
That’s what teachers do now.
I have never smelled coconut oil that is so strong is sickening.
It’s their job to police you for the sake of your own children. Basically they can see something and twist it anyway they like.
Thank you Jamie Sparen-Namiiro. That’s actually something that makes me cringe too, so I’m annoyed with myself now lol. My bad!
My issue is suggesting someone change something they do, rather than teaching other people to be tolerant of people’s differences. Would you send a letter home to an Indian child’s family asking them to cook with less curry because the other kids are annoyed with the smell?
Telling her to make changes to avoid bullying is blaming the victim .
Besides u are there to teach the child not reach the mom about her child’s hair,VERY out of place!!!
Right. Why shame the victim?
Next they gonna start saying ur too dark can u bleach a lil
Sounds like the teacher was trying to prevent bullying before it started. I think she laid out her reason in the note. Had the bullying started then the mother would have been even more upset. I wouldn’t have been offended, but that’s just me. Especially if students were complaining about it already.
Okay that’s like telling a young girl before going outside “Where pants so you won’t get raped” if you see its a about to be a problem you talk to the damned students and get them to understand bullying is not okay. It’s like you’re saying everybody that has been bullied its there fault not the actions of the bully
I’m would no be offended either teacher’s and parents have to communicate so everyone is on the same page. I guess I’m just speaking from experience.
I wouldn’t be offended but my response my offend them. If she cannot get her students to learn cultural sensitivity and prevent bullying instead of encouraging compliance with them, she has no business teaching.
Ruby Dee you said that. My response would eat her ass up.
Absolutely…..afterall she IS a *teacher*…correct?
I wouldn’t be offended either. Not by the note or by the advise. I think a lot of us want to see it as something “racial” or about our culture because it involves coconut oil and kinky curls but it all seems innocent to me.
I would ask the teacher to speak with the children and their parents about bullying others though.????????
Foolishness still not the teachers place to tell how to care any bullying has nothing to do with the child’s hair people need to teach children about bullying
I’m not sure how this doesn’t seem insensitive. At its very least, it culturally insensitive and at its worst, racist. If someone sent this same note home with an Indian child saying your child smells like curry, stop sending him/her to school smelling like this to prevent teasing, I don’t think there would be a dispute about the negative nature of the comment. I think often times black people are so use to blatant racism, that we tend to ignore it when it’s presented in more passive forms.
I’m not offended. And as a mother of three girls and who uses. Coconut oil in their hair, coconut oil does have a smell and it does stink to some people, especially ones like me who hate coconut. Alternate oils. Coconut oil is not the only oil/moisturizer in the world. The teacher was clearly trying to help. But, to the parent…go ahead and ignore the warning and when nobody wants to play with your daughter, or start making fun of her, you better not dare complain about it to that teacher…uggggghhhh!#!
Y’all really gotta read veggies commenting. Teacher lied about bullying.
Read the update. The teacher fabricated the whole thing, she’s the only black student in her class and no she wasn’t getting bullied. Teacher is being disciplined. Should be fired for this stunt.
Samantha Ragland Williams really? The teacher was a bigot!
Samantha Ragland Williams But for some people coconut oil is the best moisturizer for their hair. Should she, in that case, begin that old process of spending upwards of $100 of dollars to find the right product?
I agree with you Samantha Ragland Williams, coconut oil does have a smell to it. My sister uses it and lordt have mercy sometimes. I remember my cousin putting some in my sons hair and he nearly had a fit when he woke up the next day and said he realized his hair smelled like baby vomit…lol. I just think some people’s hair can alter the smell of it, while it doesn’t affect others…who knows
Robyn Tenesha it’s just coconut oil maybe she has a problem with it
Seems like she didn’t want her to get teased. But then again she need to check these so called kids that’s teasing her and make her feel proud of her hair. And I know for a fact coconut oil doesn’t stink lbs. Idk I think that teacher needs to talk to the kids who are teasing instead of making her change when all she’s doing is taking care of her daughter’s hair
Coconut oil doesn’t smell tho
YESSSS!!
That’s what I was thinking…
Maybe the mom mixed it with another oil
It don’t matter how it’s done if it’s keeping her daughters natural hair in good condition than the teacher and the bullies need to shut tf up. Teacher and students probably white and not used to it. I’ll just change my daughters class that’s it that’s all. I use it on my son and I wish I teacher would. But I doubt it since he does have a black natural hair teacher.
Oooohhhh but it does to some people some black people and I’ve been told please do not put it in my kids hair because the teacher had a coconut allergy
Ha! I’ve smelled some pretty awful coconut oil on a womans hair, skin I duno where she put it. Up until that point I didn’t think coconut oil could smell
Coconut oil does smell. After a few days, the smell is quite unpleasant. I had to stop using it in my baby’s hair because I couldn’t stand it.
Coconut oil does have a terrible smell after a few days. I had to stop using it because of it.
fabulous :p
Umm cocnut oil does smell rancid after a day or two…teacher was trying to be helpful not hurtful….
Thats the problem now days, instead of sending a note home to this little girls mom, she should have disciplined the children teasing her, and sent a note home to their parents!!!
My thoughts exactly!!!
How do you know the teacher didn’t discipline the children as well? It is possible that she did both.
And she’s letting this parent know what’s going on the classroom. Please remember that just because a child is disciplined doesn’t mean the bullying will automatically stop. So the teacher could have been sending in a note to let her know the situation and offering a solution.
The article obviously didnt state if she addressed the issue with the teasing, however it did showb the note she sent home and i feel is offensive, and if i would have ever received a letter like that pertaining to one of my children from a teacher believe me the teasing would not have continued! But im from a differnt era and raised my children to be accountable for their actions! Excuses are being made for actions and children now days are not learning consequences and thats why we have a lot of the issues we do today!
I feel the teacher should be talking to the children about teasing this little girl she cant help the fact that she need the oil in her hair the teacher should have handeled it better no matter how old these kids are they need to be held resposible for what they say or they grow up thinking its okay to make fun of other children she looks young which means she probably doesnt get why its a problem that how she grew up she shouldnt have to change for anyone
From experience you can talk your damn head off. Children are gonna bully behind your back regardless. Just look at who some of the kids are raised by? They bring shitty behavior to the school from home so you tell me how the hell talking to parents is gonna fix it? The parents just blow it off like it ain’t a big deal.
You can not stop teasing! If it didn’t happen in class, it will happen at lunch or recess. If her child hair stinks then mom needs to fix it.
You are assuming that the teacher didn’t redirect the kids, you don’t know that she didn’t.
Coconut oil doesn’t have a smell
Right the kind I use doesn’t smell at all
And it it does have a scent, it’s very light. It certainly does not stink.
Depends on the type but I’ve smelled nauseating coconut oil
Never. And I’ve used several different brands/kinds. If it’s mixed with something else (another oil/other products) or if if it’s not pure coconut oil, then yes, the smell may be strong. I’m referring to organic, unrefined coconut oil.
The words I would say would be like the day Kevin hart cursed his teacher out…
Tell your teacher to mind her got damned business bitch
Coconut oil has a smell IF THAT’S THE KIND YOU BUY just buy a different kind that’s unscented if it’s a problem. I’m a teacher if that child was being bullied you handle the bullies and make all parents aware of all children involved.
I agree. Just recently I brought some coconut oil and it has an odor too but at the same time the ones bullying her need to be brought to the principal attention
Yeah idk why people keep saying coconut oil doesn’t have a smell. If it didn’t, how would the teacher even know she used it?
Idc.. nothing smells worse than hair that is un oiled and dry!!
I think it’s more of a face to face issue. I understand, but I would have liked to discuss it face to face.
Seriously,every teachers have to be evaluated,when they go low you go high
We don’t know if the teacher sent notes home to the parents of the kids that were teasing the baby. I don’t think that she was trying to be rude or insensitive. Hell I’ve been accused of using too much coconut oil myself. Lol
I have to agree with you… Some people are very heavy handed. But now reading the letter she should just apply only a thin layer and a sweet scent leave in cream, or don’t apply the coconut oil at all…
If the students are supposedly teasing her then that teacher needs to check those children immediately and perhaps send a letter home to those kids parents that they are in school being mean to a fellow student because of her hair!* don’t try to twist like you’re doing her a favor when in fact you’re condoning bullying because verbal teasing is a form of bullying. Next it’ll be change her clothes, change her shoes, why dont you just change who she is all together…oh wait people have done that and folks still have a problem just leave the little girl alone.
She wasn’t being malicious. So yeah I didn’t find anything wrong with the note either. She’s trying! she should’ve talked to the children’s parents as well about their child teasing another child. She didn’t have to tell her how but let that go for the fact that she trying to help YOUR child!
Theres an update on this story. Please read it. Go to the mom’s page.
I have not known coconut oil to have a smell
Omg everything is not a race issue….I have three girls and yes I have had BLACK people tell me they hate coconut oil and the way it smells…..Umm folks it is a food before anything and people do have sensitivity to food smells…i dont see this being any different then telling white kids they can’t use certain hair products or colors etc etc sheesh now everybody is a cultural sensitivity expert dafuq was yall at when we couldn’t even wear our natural hair outside without a straightening comb perm or geri curl …..now we up in arms about some FOOD being used as a hair care product that others think stink….annnnddd looking at that picture that’s way to much damn grease in that child’s hair ijs
It’s not really food before anything. It’s an oil.
Derived from a plant that is used for food products….a coconuts primary classification is food…..ever had coconut fried chicken delicious coconut shrimp excellant coconut fried fish exquisite….no coconut is a food before it’s anything else it’s for consumption
It’s has many uses. And it doesn’t really have a smell.
It is MUCH MORE BEFORE IT IS FOOD. Educate yourself! And real coconut doesn’t have a scent..
No one read the article. They was not any bullying incidents – only a teacher with a lying problem. She doesn’t like the smell of coconut.
I use coconut oil and I have don’t recall smelling it!
Coconut oil smells good, instead of writing a letter she could have educated them on different smells. That’s the problem with people, instead of finding ways to make it a learning experience. You side with children that one day will become adults that want to be able to control how others smell!! Who really have the problem? The children or the teacher?
Only if you like it. I have a problem with any scent people and perfumes as well as room deodorizers what ever you are using remember it is personal. She should not come to school smelling like a coconut tree but the kinds can be educated about difference as well. To me over doing any smell can be offensive good or bad. It may be other AA children teasing. We dont have enough information to make a judgment on the appropriatness. I just like good dialogue.
I personally HATE the smell of coconut oil. You have to be considerate of others. Strong odors are problematic for people with sensitive noses.
The point of my comment is you can not control other people. And children need to be taught that early. You can only control what you do. I personally don’t like musky or fishy smelling body odors, but I don’t have the right to write a letter to that person telling them they stink. I’m quite sure we all have something about us, the next person don’t like. At the end of the day we learn to live in a world with different people, with different preferences smells and all. The situation could have been handled with more wisdom.
Some black women can’t handle ANY criticism constructive or otherwise. Even when it’s beneficial to their child they especially don’t want to hear it.
Personally I prefer refined coconut oil (odorless) because in time coconut oil like any food product will spoil. When it does it has an awful odor. I don’t know how often this mom washes her child’s hair so that might contribute to the smell also.
Some moms are heavy on product and when the temperature rises the oil starts to run and get messy.
Whether it was a note or a phone call the teacher is telling the mom that other children are starting to complain and possibly tease your child over her hair. That’s something a normal parent would take more seriously. I like coconut oil but my child’s well-being is far more important. After teasing comes bullying all because mom don’t know when to replace the coconut oil or how often to wash her child’s hair.
Some people take this “don’t say nothing to or about my child” crap too far. The teacher is there trying to help but some parents are too messy, too petty, and too extra to focus on doing what’s best for their child.
A private note from the teacher to her was made public on social media, why? To embarrass your child? The teacher is good, she replaces her old coconut oil and she washes her child’s hair and nobody’s bullying her child.
That teacher needs to be reprimanded. She crossed the line.
I think the teacher should focus on the kids who are bullying. You don’t stop bully’s by asking the kid being bullied to change so the bully won’t bully. No you correct it with the bully and their parents!
Omgg….that is exactly what I was thinking! Everyone’s saying the mother shouldn’t have been mad but yes she should because she shouldn’t have to change anything to accommodate a BULLY, that’s only teaching them that if they pick on someone they can and will get their way.
I wouldn’t be offended by this note it’s not rude. The teacher is trying to prevent this little girl from being teased by other children and asking mom to help. Kid’s can be mean sometimes.
I have a daughter who has the same problem as yours, if you don’t keep the hair moisturizer it gets brittle. I did not find that note offensive and she is not telling you how to take care of your daughters hair. Coconut oil do have a smell and being outside and sweating will cause the oil release an odor. That is one of the reasons why I stopped putting it in my daughter hair. If that is the only thing that keeps her hair moist cause it looks like her hair is very healthy use the organic brand. There is a coconut oil spray that I use and it works great. The teacher cares cause if she didn’t she could have left it like that. Even if she tells her students to stop it or even educate them about hair texture and how it is maintained, she can only control her class, not the entire school. We are all part of the problem and we have to make it better and begin at the source of the problem and in your case, it’s not you it’s that coconut oil.
Ridiculous
My granddaughter is one of 3 African American children in her school… yes the whole entire public school grades K thur 5. A couple of years back a few students started to complain that her hair smelled “funny”. Her teacher handled the situation perfectly… She called the parents of the other children and told then that their actions were inappropriate and considered bullying by the school district. She then worked lessons on diversity into her lesson plans so that the children understood that we are not all alike. When I see stories like these I thank the heavens that even though my granddaughter is a definite minority in her school the principal and school administration have taken the time out to ensure she is not excluded or bullied.
Perfect response from the teacher. Wish we had more like these. ????????????????????????????????????????????????
The victim ALWAYS bears the blame!!!! Stop the bullies!!!
The little kid is very cute and her hair is gorgeous, with that being said, I have had my hair natural all my life hence I know most of the oils us naturals use and the smells. Coconut oil has a very strong smell and I hate it just like any other person would, some might be fine with it but to say the truth it does have a smell. For the other kids to say its stinky bare in mind that they are kids and they might use words they don’t mean and maybe they were only bothered by it or that they could smell her hair one ever she’s playing with her peers. I wouldn’t be offended and her mom could try and use less of the oil and maybe more if she doesn’t have to be around others sometimes.
What kind are u using. I’ve never smelled coconut oil. None that I’ve ever used smelled like anything. Unless it was that artificial “coconut flavoring” stuff. The real deal don’t smell like nuthin
I use spectrum virgin oil, been using it for a while my hair loves it and I often use it during weekends and or vacations or I would add something else to it that has a nice smell.
Real coconut oil has a smell
That would be the same thing if a child wasn’t able to have a clean set of clothes daily. Saying that to say no one knows what goes on in anyone’s household. Especially a teacher. There may have been a reason the mother uses that particular item. If you send a note home how does she not know the child won’t read it. Children should be taught not to bully regardless of the nature. It starts with the adults not the children!
A phone call would have been appropriate to ask the mother to come in a discuss an issue with her child with some other students
I think the teacher actually had the child’s interest at heart
Glad I wasn’t a victim. My guardians always used Petroleum Jelly for my hair. -No Scent
Address the bullies, not the parent caring for her child. Enough said!
I think the teacher was right but I would find another word to use instead of stink.
The kids is slow these days my mom used pine tar in my hair occasionally didn’t nobody say shit half the kids hair wasn’t even combed
Honestly I don’t see nothing wrong with it the teacher was just trying to help the parent to be aware
No, its her ass that thinks it stinks…
Dear teacher can you stop spraying Victoria secret body mist over yo funky smelling body.. Because the kids are complaining that you smell like sour patches and catfish…. I’m just kidding… I’m not serious… A note to mom was appropriate but instead of using the word STINK should have said smells unpleasant..
Any oil will smell if it’s not fresh and will turn rancid. I remember being very glad when the Jheri curl fad ended because that curl activator oil smelled horrible to me. Maybe she needs to keep it in the fridge…
The teacher said she understands the necessity of the coconut oil which leads me to believe that the teacher may be black or maybe even natural herself (assumption on my part)… It’s also not confirmed that the teacher DID OR DID NOT address the other kids for teasing and that very well could have happened as well. Most teachers are instructed to address all concerns involved with the situation not just one side and they do not share always how the other side is disciplined… Next, I don’t show where the teacher told her to stop using coconut oil, it looks like she requested it be used lightly or in moderation. And to be quite frank some of us (i am a proud natural myself) do have struggles with the amount of product that we use on our hair… and lastly, and for me most importantly, this should have been a face-to-face or at the very least, a phone conversation. You do not instruct parents on the care of their children through a note … unacceptable Just my opinion…
We don’t know what was said to the children who were doing the bullying to sit her and say what the teacher should have done. For all we know the situation could have been addressed with the other children and their parents as well. The teacher made the mom aware of the situation so that there are no surprises. When my child was being bullied at school I didn’t hear it from the teacher, I heard it from my child. So at least she gave mom a heads up as to what was going on. She offered the mom a suggestion as to how to maybe avoid it in the future.
i agree she should have just left it at “the kids are teasing your daughter bc of the smell of her hair”. let the mom decide what to do about it.
i had cornflake sized dandruff and psoriasis and my mom put glovers mane in my head and all the kids teased me and said i smelled like bacon. it was humiliating and my mama quit using that and switched to sulfur 8 which still smelled pretty harsh but not like bacon at least
I woulda just said no and moved on.
I had a few students who used copious amounts of coconut oil in their hair. And if the oil is unrefined, it will go rancid, which has a very unpleasant smell. That being said, the teacher should have had a face to face conversation about how the the kids are finding the smell “distracting” as well as have other conversations with the offending kids about being friendly, as well as notifying their parents, to reinforce how we should treat others. That being said, if your kid stinks, it’s not fair to be subjecting other people to that!
There is an update to this story and it’s interesting. The child wasn’t bullied and coconut oil wasn’t even used in her hair…
The smell of coconut oil on someone’s scalp literally makes me sick. I get it.
Trying to say “The kids have been saying” just be honest and say YOU don’t care for the smell.
What that teacher meant to say is “I understand the necessity of using coconut oil on….”! I think she should concentrate on her grammar and not her student’s hair products.
I saw that as well. She forgot to proof read and she’s grading students
I wondered how far I’d go down in the comments before someone addressed that.
It does stink, my husband uses it and I can’t stand the smell
A lot of people saying the note was inappropriately! The note address the concerns of every aspect, and was not disrespectful! She let the mother know, what the children were saying about her child’s hair! If people use coconut oil on hair, knows after a few days it starts to smell sour, and the other kids sitting near are old enough to smell and talk! Why put your child through that! There are a lot of oils out there to blend with coconut oil to help with keeping it from smelling sour! I think the teacher note was better than her just directly telling the mother which, may have turned out even worse! People today take verbal construction wrongly and get offensive, and I hate to say especially black women!!!
Sounds like bull coconut oil doesn’t stink at all!!
That teacher has no business asking this mother to adjust her grooming, but she’s right. Unrefined coconut oil smells really strong in large amounts and its unpleasant unless you love it. It is what it is. I refuse to use it on my child. Instead, we use cold pressed coconut oil. It still retains the nutrients and benefits and it has almost no smell at all. #EasyFix
I’m assuming it’s real coconut oil for consumption. I’ve used several different brands and they all have a different coconut smells. But true it’s does locks in funky odor so you have to wash hair more frequently.
Okay, this is where I get upset with “us.” I wash my hair every 2-3 weeks and YES the smell of my hair lets me know that the oils need to be washed out. Coconut oil is my biggest offender at times. This teacher doesnt understand and she attempted to communicate the best she could. I’m sure she contemplated her approach for many days. This parent should appreciate the openess and perhaps switch up her daughter’s wash regimine to include midweek cowashing.
Now that does not say that bullying should be allowed but these kids dont understand, so they should be educated. However, this mom needs to take heed and switch things up.
That wasn’t a reason for her to get fired… My step daughter mother use coconut oil in her hair. I didn’t know what the smell was in her hair. Until she said that she only use shea butter shampoo and coconut oil. The smell was too loud and it did stink. I understand where the teacher is coming from. Yes the other kids will tell her her hair stinks. So why would you want your child tease about her hair.
When I was young the white kids hair smelled like wet dog. Black girls hair smelled like burnt oil cuz of those hot combs. I’d remember leaving grease stains on the school bus window.
I don’t see the problem. Mother sent me off to School everyday drenched in Pink moisturizer. I hate the smell of it to this day. It stinks! My school and home work always had grease stains on them. My first and second grade teachers( who were both black) would put red circles around the grease stains. I was so embarrassed. My mother paid it no mind. She thought I looked beautiful with those greasy ponytails. It was so itchy. Tia Monette
I use large amount of coconut oil on my kids hair and it dose not smell???? So this note is a bit confusing to me.
Wow. Writing such a note is bad enough but the teacher’s note itself contains syntax and grammatical errors – “necessary” instead of “necessity”, “kid’s” instead of “kids”. Who are these idiots we are allowing into the teaching profession? And, how can we get rid of them?
How about teaching the kids not to bully and tease. Just a thought…
If the coconut oil smells, I wonder how often is the child’s hair being cleaned.
I would have called the mother or requested a conference without the child to explain.
But truthfully, if you were brought up when the jheri curls were the fashion, you could smell people heads a mile away because they put the activator on everyday and did not wash it until it was time to get it redone.
How about the teacher disciplining the bullies instead of justifying them? They shouldn’t be bullying this girl in the first place
I just think the teacher was ignorant. But I don’t think she was trying to be mean.
No, I will not! Kind regard.
I don’t see a problem with it…. Cause you better believe that those kids are teasing her about how her hair smells….
Don’t think the teacher is wrong for the most part. You can still keep the hair moisture and clean. If her hair is protruding a smell, just hey thanks for the heads up. But being a mother you know of your child is clean or not. Just like if your soe in smells your man would let you know you need to wash your hair. People need to stop being so dam defensive about petty crap.
The tone is wrong. Firstly as a teacher, I would be examining with the other children why they feel they have the right to comment on this little girl’s hair at all. Secondly if the teacher felt that the smell was an issue, I would be calling the parent or asking her in for a meeting, not writing a letter, which at best is misguided and at worst, downright rude and offensive. Thirdly if I felt that writing a note was the only way to go, I would make sure it was grammatically correct!
Handle the kids teasing the child and alert their parents. Alert the child being bullied parents and explain why the child was being teased. Don’t ever take it upon yourself, as a educator, to tell me how to oil or style my child’s hair. That is not your place. This educator, what she has been deemed because a teacher would have known better, further victimized the child. How do you allow that “teaching” and disciplining opportunity pass you by? That’s right! Educator does not equal Teacher. Ridiculous.
SHE didn’t like the smell either….she agreed with the other children.
It shouldn’t be that much coconut oil used in that baby hair anyway
I wouldn’t reply to the teacher; not One Word. I would take this to every media and newspaper outlet and let it go viral. I would also schedule a meeting not just with the teacher, but the principal and school board. If this child’s hair and products used in her hair do not violate the school handbook for dress code and if the child is not being disruptive in the classroom, then as a parent I would take it to the top and let this teacher and that school district know this type of bullying and violation of this child and her family’s Civil Rights will not be Tolerated !!!! It’s not even about the oil and the way it smells; the teacher should have used more discretion and respect in THE WAY she wrote that note. Since when does the way a child dresses and wear their hair natural, neat and clean impede on a child’s ability to LEARN?
How about she send twenty notes home to all of the children hearing this one child!!!
That’s out of order. If it were due to allergies, I would understand. But “stink” this teacher needs to use this opportunity to teach her kids some life lessons
I dont know if I would be offended.. The note wasn’t rude. It simply was a potential cause for a bigger problem of bullying and ridicule from other kids and the teacher seem to only want to prevent the child from it. As a parent I would welcome her concerns and make whatever changes I could to ensure my child is able to go to school and feel comfortable while maintaining her health hair.. Everything doesn’t call for a neg reaction where ones child is concerned… IT TAKE A VILLAGE.
The way the teacher handled it is ok with me and I think the teacher is only looking out for the little girl. Teacher says she is being teased so to protect the little girl point it out to the mother. Not everything u gonna like but if u want u child to have a positive outlook especially with natural hair don’t force her into a situation where she gonna be teased just so u can prove a point. Not everyone can appreciate the scent of coconut so
Sareta Bogle good point
What do u think?
A: f**k the teacher for saying it was so the kids wouldn’t bully her. She shouldn’t be bullied for ANY reason
B: no such thing as too much coconut oil
I understand the defensiveness from the note. But one has to read the note in its entirety. The teachers main objective was that the other kids make fun of her.
No issue with the note from the teacher. I and others don’t like or can’t tolerate certain smells. Ladies have been asked to use go easy on perfumes at my place of employment via an e-mail.
First, it was kind of sad to see a teacher that cannot write well. It should have read “the necessity of” … “not the necessary of.” Secondly, coconut oil does not stink, but dirty hair does. And, it does not need to be added daily. Still, the teacher is only required to teach. She is not the social worker. Therefore, if she took the time to inform a parent of a potential harm to the child, perhaps the parent should be more accepting of the message.
I’m offended by the word “stink” don’t know why that stands out so much..I don’t like the fact that she said to use “less coconut oil” how does she know that’s what I’m using..I use it myself and don’t really think you can identify the smell as usually it’s used with a combination of products sometimes
I think it could have been addressed differently
I use coconut oil in me and my kids hair as well as almond oil. And it smells awesome. Not quite sure why she was getting teased and why in the hell the teacher thought it was cool to say stop using something she ain’t buying yet alone doing the child’s hair. Sooooo buddy I’d be at that school so quick to put her in her in her place. SMH
the teacher was trying to help but the mother was all in her feelings
Coconut oil doesn’t smell.. so somebody is lying…
I understand that she didn’t need the teachers suggestion but I would be glad she told me my child was being bullied for something that could be changed. Kids can’t handle bullies nowadays, they end up killing themselves later. In all honesty, I was more offended at “I understand the necessary of coconut oil”. You’re a teacher and that is basic english that you just brutalized.
Coconut oil is all I use in my oldest hair and it barely has a scent. ????
I dont use it i hate coconut period so i stay away and im sure kids will find anything to pick at.
What’s her business? She can put cow dump on her daughter’s hair.
Wow really the bullies are the problem not the little girl
The update is the teacher is being reprimanded for lying about this child being bullying and the kids didn’t say her hair smelled at all.
Recommendation to teachers if your not sure how to communicate about cultural issues talk to the parent(s) instead of sending notes. It can be a learning process for everyone.
I think the teacher has good intentions but she just didn’t word it well. You can’t tell the parent what to do, sometimes you can’t even give suggestions because it may come across wrong. I’m sure if baby hair “stinks” mommy would know it, teacher should have spoken to the kids and let them know that not because something smells different doesn’t mean it’s bad.
I don’t see anything wrong with this she is trying to help the child not to get teased at school . Is that so wrong?And folks coconut oil does have a smell.
I think the story is made up and that the mom write the note herself for attention. Beyond that numerous errors, teachers do not typically address parents or themselves by first names. Also, look at the errors in her response in this article and tell me it doesn’t sound like the same person: https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/teachers-note-complaining-about-oil-in-a-students-hair-sparks-outrage-185330489.html
The grammar is horrendous. I can’t imagine a teacher writing this.
I’m not changing anything that someone doesn’t like about my child just to please someone else! What am I teaching my child? So if my child take a cream for medical reasons and it has a smell, I suppose to not make them put it on because the kids think it stinks or the teacher thinks it stinks?I’m in education as well and I smell all types of different unpleasant smells because I’m around so many different cultures. I would never say anything to the parent but yet teach my children about different diverse cultural backgrounds. I would even incorporate that into a lesson and bring in different smells for them to smell and talk about because in the real world you can’t be in a place of business and just walk up to a person and say that stinks. Yes I would tell the parent about the bullying because I would want her to know that I am aware of the situation and let that be her choice to make changes but I wouldn’t advise her to do so!
I think the note is appropriate. She’s trying to help the little girl so that she’s not teased how is that wrong? It’s nicer to assume that it’s the oil stinking and not her hair just being dirty from not being properly washed/dried.
I think this could be an classroom discussion explaining to children why is not ok to tease or to bully one one …but to send a note home was doing a little to much….would she send a note home if a child clothes smelled like to much soap powder?….or if a child smelled like too much baby oil….was this really about children teasing or a teacher complaining about the smell of a child hair?
The teacher should have called the mother. This note is tacky and I wonder if the bullies were sent home with a letter in their book bag.
And me and Mrs.Teacher ma’am will have to fight that day
See this is When you go in and have a not so nice conference with teacher and principal. I’m sure no one complains when she comes in with her her smelling like wet . I wish a teacher would send me a note like that.
I think the teacher meant well. Strong scents can be overwhelming in a close classroom setting. I personally HATE the smell of coconut oil. You have to be considerate of others. Strong odors are problematic for people with sensitive noses. Also children who are asthmatic have a low tolerance for perfumes and pungent scents as well.
Could you imagine a teacher sendering this home with you! I’d just give it back to her saying I’m saving your job sweet heart Jade Shaw
Must be licking in class and oil gets everywhere and that’s not kool oh and the smell plus sweat smells nasty
I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to tell you how to groom your child’s hair. Children will just about tease you for anything. Correct the behaviors of the children. Write letters to their parents. I did not even hear of Glover’s mane until coming on fb. I did know that smell though along with sulfur 8. I did not know it came from the girl’s hair in my class until recent years. It was not offensive, just peculiar to me. Not too overpowering.
Don’t know what brand she uses but I use 100% organic extra virgin coconut oil. I use it on my child on every part of his body. No complaints. It has a very light smell. Maybe she uses one of those hair dresses. They can smell strong. Please let a kid come in their with sulfer 8.. then complain
I used to do my sons hair everyday with coconut oil and i must admit it is strong and it lingers around its to oily and sometimes he would complain about it burning his eyes many reasons why i stopped using it…. do your kid a favor oil isnt really necessary its thousands of other hair products that will make your kids hair just as beautiful save the embarrassment ✌
Dear America, stop telling us what to do or use in our hair. Period!
Ummm a TEACHER wrote this??? With that grammar? And signed it with her first name??
And coconut oil has no scent
I don’t see anything she said wrong.Let me guess now the teacher is racist? She was only trying to look out for this child
Yes coconut oil has a smell cocoa butter and Shea butter also has a smell. It might be a little strong for those who are not used to the smell so I partially understand. Refined coconut oil doesn’t have a smell and has the same properties of regular coconut oil so that’s a solution. Or she can add a safe essential oil with the coconut oil. The teacher however should deal with those kids doing the teasing by using it as a teachable moment to teach them the reason she uses coconut oil in her hair and why its unkind to tease. I’m sure if they have a lice outbreak that child whose hair has been anointed by the wonderful coconut oil wont get lice.
Man this is a time when the parent needed to beat this teachers a$$. For real
It has a smell if its from Jamaica I can understand it. Its not malicious just that when you are in an enclosed space it does smell
Surely that conversation should have been in person and the teacher’s reaction should be to scold the children about teasing.
No lie I tried it in my daughters hair. It smelled like old grease after a day.
Im the f**king teacher 4 mine
So there seems to be an update….the girl wasn’t being bullied. The teacher just didn’t like the smell.
“Norris says her child is the only black student her class at the Raggedy Anne Learning Center, which adds another layer to the issue. “This is why I make it a point to keep her hair natural and tell her yes she’s different and it’s magical,” she wrote on Facebook.[…] “In all honestly coconut oil was not used on the style and that’s why I was so mad because it was stereotypical to assume the natural girl in the class applied too much oil to her hair. How the letter is presented it seems as though she was being teased and that hurt me because she’s just a baby and I deserve to know something like that to my face. You can’t tell a mother “your child is being teased fix it.” Hell no!! I need to know which, kid so I can address their mother as well as what you did to rectify the situation[…]
After meeting with the director I found out that no child ever bullied Amia (she’s actually quite popular) and the word “stink” was used in quotes because she knew it didn’t have a foul odor. It was just something the teacher was not used to and thought it was heavy (she has a sensitive nose so she says) they have fully taken responsibility and understands why it’s so offensive.
They also would like to apologize to anyone the letter may have offended. Amia is happy and reassured me no one ever bullied her. We now have an understanding where if anything is an issue I will be notified in person and not through a letter which is up for assumption.”
The mother also explained the teacher is Russian and suggests the teacher simply has never had to really interact with black people both as students or parents as a result. She seemed more upset that this teacher had not spoken to her directly, allowed her to know which students were supposedly teasing her daughter, and the idea that she as a parent is supposed to be the one preventing other students from engaging in negative behavior. She admitted that she hadn’t used coconut oil on that style(guessing the teacher may have asked the daughter and she said what her mom usually used).
Here is my problem: I knew a teacher who had a girl in her class who had a cat. She had no clue why she was having allergic reactions until one day the girl brought in a picture of her cat. This teacher then spoke directly to the girl’s parents, informed administration, and said she didn’t want to cause undo stress for this girl or other children, but that she would be more than willing to switch classes so the girl wouldn’t have to leave her friends. This woman had to do this for her health and still wanted to give her all to children. That is how you carry yourself as a teacher. You speak to parents directly and with care. It is a hard thing to do, but that is a sensitive issue. If you have allergies or a smell makes you feel ill talk to parents, talk to administation, send out a letter if you want to inform the whole class. If you just don’t care for a smell then you don’t make up a story about it, you don’t just been a note on a jacket, you should pick up the phone and very politely say “I understand, but I’m afraid the scent is a problem for me. I can try to switch classes, but this is becoming a problem and it is affecting my teaching the whole class. I have many gifts I can give children, and skills as a teacher that are hard to keep in teaching, so leaving this position would be harmful to the children. Can you work with me to find a positive solution”. Another thing The fact is bullying about personal odor happens and you as a teacher can’t just ignore it. As a teacher you don’t get the luxury of ignoring things that inspire backlash against a student, but you handle it with decorum.
Omg them kids crazy coconut oil smells great.
Ask the child if indeed she was being harassed by other kids because of the smell of her hair. If it was a YES, then ease up on the coconut oil or change the damn oil you apply; one that smells good, like shea oil, argan or olive. Coconut oil can stink. I use it sparingly.
I think the teacher was out of line. From what I read, none of the students were picking on the little girl because her hair “stinks.” My question is why was the teacher close enough to the girl’s head to start smelling it? Did she ask the girl was her mom used in her hair? If there was bullying going on, the teacher shouldn’t blame the parent. She should diffuse the situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbxwqYeLBSA