In an article titled 9 [Happy] Thoughts From the Single Woman (yes, people actually send me links like this thinking that I for whatever reason need uplifting?! lol) I came across the following from MadamNoire:
4. I don’t feel any type of way about making drastic hair decisions
A lot of times women, black women in particular, are scared to drastically alter their hair for fear that their man won’t approve. Now you don’t have to worry about your hair shocking the man you have. Instead you can let your hair attract the man you want. Once you change your hair you just might find that a different type of man will approach you.
Is this true? Are we scared to drastically change our hair because of our MEN?! And as a single black woman, should I feel ‘free’ to change in hopes or expectation of attracting a “different type of man”?! I can only answer from my own experience and perspective, of course, but in short no. To be honest, I’m far more scared about doing anything drastic to my hair than the men in my life have been.
Thinking back on my past significant relationships, all the men that have come through my life always knew how important my hair is to me. They would be the ones to suggest blonde highlights, or even a short ‘do and I’d gasp in horror. NO! I don’t want to change my hair! I don’t want to color on top of relaxing it! I refuse to cut it!
I can only assume that this excerpt is referencing women who don’t have support from their significant other to transition to natural and/or big chop. And I’ve seen threads and videos from natural haired ladies describing the type of men they attract, claiming they are a superior quality (more “conscious”, respectful, aware and promoting of their Blackness) and asking if other natural ladies have experienced the same.
I’ve seen choruses of “Amens!” in the comment and reply sections and if I may lend the situation to my imagination, I can almost hear these black women giving each other the sistah-gurl hi-five! In the same vein, some of the responses included relaxed ladies saying they want to go natural, but their man hates natural hair and doesn’t want her to. So they don’t. REALLY THOUGH?! In both cases, I am completely and totally perplexed.
I’ll be the first to say that it is not just hair to me. So, no, I’m not going to hit you with that politically correct, yet slanted response. That would be the easy answer – to claim that its just hair, that it doesn’t mean that much and doesn’t have that much influence over your life. Well you may believe that, and I’m not saying it is wrong…but I certainly don’t ascribe to that way of thinking. Its not just hair. Its a feature on my body and I want it to look right, the same way I want my stomach to be unflabby, my skin to be clear, heck my face to be clean!