Can You Teach Your Kids To Love Natural Hair If You Are Relaxed?

Can You Teach Your Kids To Love Natural Hair If You Are Relaxed

I was going about my business recently when I saw the caption on a T-shirt: “I don’t need a relaxer; my hair is not stressed out”. I laughed and thought to myself, how clever, yet the more I thought about it, the more potency the words had.

Countless black women have been seduced by the images of the slick straight hair that gives you the thrill of having the wind blow through your hair and tickle your scalp; being able to run your fingers through soft smooth tresses unhindered by kinks and knots, just like in the movies. I know because I have been at that point too many times to count.

It becomes more enticing on bad hair days when those edges just won’t cooperate or when you touch your hair and cringe because the feel of it is comparable to steel wool.

Despite the allure, I am still natural but it might not have been that way had my mother not laid the gauntlet down and categorically stated, “No chemical processing of your hair. You were born with it so you better learn to love it.”

How I hated that, but years later I began to embrace my hair and India Arie’s “I Am Not My Hair” became my anthem. It seems this song strikes a chord with those who opt to relax their hair as well, since the song takes no sides in the hair debate. Many moms are desirous of maintaining their daughters’ natural hair, though they themselves choose to get a relaxer.

Which brings me back to the question: can you teach your kids to love their natural hair if you are relaxed?


The natural hair movement has come a far way judging by the substantial 12.4 percent decline in the sales of relaxers between 2009 and 2011. Still, a significant number of black women continue to get relaxers. Much debate has sparked from this with many advocates of the natural hair movement saying that getting a relaxer is an indication that you are still mentally enslaved and have not yet embraced your true cultural identity.

Originally posted 2013-08-30 15:00:30.

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About Marsha Buchanan


As a Jamaican girl raised in a devout church family headed by my mother, I have always had my natural hair, no chemical processing. After years of mistreating it , often ignorant of that fact, I began my healthy hair journey in January 2013 in fact, I have seen to it that my entire household falls in line where this is concerned. When I am not poring over some hair blog or forum I spend my time teaching English to rowdy high school students (ok maybe I have some little sweethearts in the mix), mothering the most adorable two year old on this globe, or rushing to meet the deadline for a writing project on Elance. In my spare time I enjoy a stroll along the beach with my doting husband.

About Marsha Buchanan


As a Jamaican girl raised in a devout church family headed by my mother, I have always had my natural hair, no chemical processing. After years of mistreating it , often ignorant of that fact, I began my healthy hair journey in January 2013 in fact, I have seen to it that my entire household falls in line where this is concerned. When I am not poring over some hair blog or forum I spend my time teaching English to rowdy high school students (ok maybe I have some little sweethearts in the mix), mothering the most adorable two year old on this globe, or rushing to meet the deadline for a writing project on Elance. In my spare time I enjoy a stroll along the beach with my doting husband.

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Nomthunzi BucwaDeborah WilsonLaTynia Mitchell TaylorMonique WilsonTammie Faulkner Taylor Recent comment authors
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Shāy Ponts

No brainer: of course!

Princess Meka

Absolutely

Deondra Davis

I say yes, when I was a child I liked my natural hair and my mother permed hers, I actually got upset when she permed mine

Alexis Cooper

I think it creates a conflict in a child. “Kind of like that do as I say, not as I do” statement. I don’t think that a child can be taught to value something that isn’t valued by the teacher. If natural hair is to be loved, children will figure out and ask questions as to why their mother’s hair isn’t. ESPECIALLY, because there is still a partially negativee societal message about natural hair that that child will know about by default of being in the world.

Sherrie Tamara

Yes you can. My 10 year old wants no part of a relaxer. She said she still wants her hair big!

Angela Ford

It depends on the child and the mother. Its a personal choice how to handle it.

Starlan Hoke

Teach when I came along it was not up to child

Melanie D. Price-Pennington

*passes the mic to Beyonce*

BlackHairInformation.com

lol!

Nefray Demetrius

Can you teach your child not to smoke while still smoking yourself? Okay then.

Sharon Emile-Amazigo

Smoking, drinking, sex, staying out late and doing other adult things are acceptable for adults not for children. Yes we need to live by example but a large part of bring up children is do as I say not as I do. I am relaxed my three girls are naturals no issue here.

Tammie Faulkner Taylor

No doubt.

Monique Wilson

I think so if your not getting a touch up every month and stretching applications then yes…. but if when you see even half a kink you are using a relaxer then I can see conflict…..

LaTynia Mitchell Taylor

My girls and I love our natural.hair …even when it gets poffie. …no perms never…

Deborah Wilson

Yes

Nomthunzi Bucwa

Yes, the same way a lighter skinned mother cn teach her kids that their darker complexion is just as beautiful. When we learn to appreciate our differences instead of being afraid of them, our children will do the same.