Several horror stories involving mothers bad mouthing their child’s hair have surfaced. Some of us have even witnessed this in public.
They bemoan the fact that their child didn’t get any of the “good hair” and anxiously await the day when they can wax on some hair relaxer to “fix the problem”.
These mothers either get stressed out thinking about all the time it will take to “fix” the child’s hair, or become overwhelmed.
It goes without saying that a child with such a mother may be led to believe that somehow she is short of something; the thing that would make her beautiful; straight hair.
Mothers play an important role in any child’s life. They are our first teachers, and in the early stages of development a child learns by observing.
A little girl will want to look like mommy does from head to toe, for this is where she gets her first sense of style.
Patterning their parents is the goal of most children from infancy through to the school age. How probable is it then, that a mom who is relaxed will be able to successfully teach her natural haired child to embrace her hair when the child cannot pattern mom?
Might it suggest to the child that black hair must be de-kinked in order to achieve the look of sophistication? Mothers may attempt this feat by trying to surround their daughters with images of people who rock their natural textures.
This visual stimulus is good but in the greater scheme of things, children need tangible references to make a connection with what they are being told and shown. At the end of the day it all comes down to personal choice, but if you are serious about teaching your child to embrace the beauty of her natural texture, wouldn’t it be best to lead by example?
Does your relaxer send a counter-productive message to your kids which reads: “Black hair is stressed so it needs to relax”?
Shāy Ponts says
No brainer: of course!
Princess Meka says
Absolutely
Deondra Davis says
I say yes, when I was a child I liked my natural hair and my mother permed hers, I actually got upset when she permed mine
Alexis Cooper says
I think it creates a conflict in a child. “Kind of like that do as I say, not as I do” statement. I don’t think that a child can be taught to value something that isn’t valued by the teacher. If natural hair is to be loved, children will figure out and ask questions as to why their mother’s hair isn’t. ESPECIALLY, because there is still a partially negativee societal message about natural hair that that child will know about by default of being in the world.
Sherrie Tamara says
Yes you can. My 10 year old wants no part of a relaxer. She said she still wants her hair big!
Angela Ford says
It depends on the child and the mother. Its a personal choice how to handle it.
Starlan Hoke says
Teach when I came along it was not up to child
Melanie D. Price-Pennington says
*passes the mic to Beyonce*
BlackHairInformation.com says
lol!
Nefray Demetrius says
Can you teach your child not to smoke while still smoking yourself? Okay then.
Sharon Emile-Amazigo says
Smoking, drinking, sex, staying out late and doing other adult things are acceptable for adults not for children. Yes we need to live by example but a large part of bring up children is do as I say not as I do. I am relaxed my three girls are naturals no issue here.
Tammie Faulkner Taylor says
No doubt.
Monique Wilson says
I think so if your not getting a touch up every month and stretching applications then yes…. but if when you see even half a kink you are using a relaxer then I can see conflict…..
LaTynia Mitchell Taylor says
My girls and I love our natural.hair …even when it gets poffie. …no perms never…
Deborah Wilson says
Yes
Nomthunzi Bucwa says
Yes, the same way a lighter skinned mother cn teach her kids that their darker complexion is just as beautiful. When we learn to appreciate our differences instead of being afraid of them, our children will do the same.