The idea of a whether or not your other half likes your natural hair is not new to us here at BHI. Judging by the comments on a recent article on that subject, most of you don’t care what he thinks, it’s your hair and you will do with it as you please!
It’s great to hear that so many of us are independent minded but not everyone is and let’s face it, regardless what we say, most of us would much rather our men find us attractive no matter what we do with our hair.
This newlywed woman named Love found herself in just that situation. Speaking on the Steve Harvey show she explained that as a long term weave wearer she ‘accidentally’ grew out her hair natural due to a weave that went bad. When her husband walked into their home to find her au natural, his first reaction was to run out of the house!
His second reaction wasn’t much better when he went back in and eying her natural hair again, asked her if it was a wig* and if so to take it off. His explanation while speaking to Steve Harvey was that natural hair takes a while to grow out and he just wishes that his wife could find a way to style her hair so as to make it more appealing.
Hilarity ensued as it usually does when Mr Harvey is involved as he offered the husband advice one man to another; Steve said that his reaction and approach could not be more wrong and he had to find a way to better handle the situation.
Nikki Walton, the blogger over at curlynikki.com also offered a few words of wisdom on styling natural hair explaining that Love had to find her confidence with her hair first which would eventually shine through in the way she carried herself.
Well, on the one hand you can understand the husband’s point of view; when he met his wife she had Brazilian weave all the way down her booty so it’s going to take him a minute to adjust to her new preference for her natural hair.
Yet on the other hand you have to agree with Steve “It ain’t your damn head!”. Watch the video below and let me know what you ladies think.
My dad doesn’t like my hair….he told me that it’s a “phase”. But I’m still going to wear my hair natural regardless
go girl ..
Thanks 🙂
🙂
Team natural
be yourself however you choose to wear your hair -no matter if you are nappy wavy curly dyed or straight . Just don’t be Fake
Lol Steve summed it up
She looks more mature and very classy.
Nothing wrong with that woman’s hair, what is wrong with him??!! But she look older with natural hair vs the weave.
That husband redeemed himself but at first he needed to go an sit down somewhere
Smdh.steves right its not his damn head.and the wife definitely needs to love her hair an set her man straight.love my natural hair
Her natural hair is so lovely…she just looks more mature in it.maybe her hubby loves the going girlish look…she could still carry her natural hair and make it funky…flat twists, Bantu knots, three strands twists…anything…but I love her natural hair more…boping mine gets this full and long someday….
I am of African and Indian American decent. If a man is not happy with my naturally spiral curly hair, they can date a woman that doesnt have it. My hair is not an option. Its me. Remember the “perm”. Causations used this process to give their hair an ethnic texture….ours. Only our people are unhappy with our hair because we’ve been bamboozled into believing its “bad hair”. Its ALL good hair. Ours.
That’s why we shouldn’t case ourselves in weave! Both black men and women have warped ideas on our hair and that’s down to the middle passage and slavery NOTHING ELSE! I understand this man and woman it’s gonna take time. But I bet if she defined her curls he’d love it. Bet he doesn’t even dream of that type of ability. These chains have been on us for thousands of years it’s gonna take time to come off completely no need to put your hands on your hips and start bashing your keyboards writing articles why not learn about the history of our hair then understand what we are going through instead of all that ‘independent’ mess that doesn’t represent the word at all. IMO black hair is beautiful we are still realising that!
Omg it has nothing to do with slavery and everything to do with not allowing a person to see the real you until years later I.e. No makeup,no weave,no body wraps,spanks etc don’t let me marry the fake u then you show me the real you wtf
It has EVERYTHING TO DO WITH SLAVERY AND THE MIDDLE PASSAGE! Our men back in african pre 1500s they said this about our hair? I’m not here for the face value! You dig deeper if you want to find out why we have these views the slave masters called us nappy heads who the HELL do you think planted this on us? F*** make up that has nothing to do with SELF HATE! Stop brushing the issue under the rug! Slavery and the middle passage COMBINED are the reasons we see our hair like that! The perm was created for a reason. Don’t act like you don’t know the history of us AND OUR HAIR! Don’t put our hair issues with other women’s issues!!! Act like you have some sense and don’t come at me with modern affairs I mentioned slavery you’re talking to me about the 21st cent?? Dig deeper please this is KNOWN FACT our hair issues started with interference from the white man! Can’t tell me the masters didn’t form these views on us
Do you even know what the middle passage is? Do you know hair science! I’d like to see YOU go through that an e selfie ready! Go and ravage your head and see how you look! Kmt it’s down to slavery I’m a Brit and I know that. When black women say ‘I don’t wanna look like a slave’ where the hell do you think we get our idea from? Make up lines? No lady! The slave master
Didn’t think so..
We get talked about if we wear weave or our natural hair BY OUR OWN PEOPLE, so ladies do whats best for you, and forget what the rest say.
Instead of the gender war we always wanna create with our men lets learn our history and our hair story! I don’t blame black men I think we all know who is to blame here! Damn white devils lol! Don’t bash this man let her play around watch him fall in love!!!
I live in the UK, I was wore my hair naturally most if my adult life only relaxed my hair when I turned 33.
I got fed up when a hairdresser added extensions to my hair and cut off my real hair instead of trimming the fake. When I took out the extensions my hair was a hot mess in different lengths she even gave me a bang/fringe which I never had before. When the rest if my hair suffered like a butchered plant. I went to work with my twists covered by a bandana. I ended up meeting my future husband – who was white. In fact when I relaxed my hair he said he preferred it curly to relaxed. He looked at me when some other guys would not have, and married me with my 3 black boys. So it’s a shame our brothas don’t always see natural beauty, but nor does our sistas in the same breathe. When I sported twists I use to get looks likes head wasn’t tidy enough or was I tryingto grow locs like a Jamaican ( both my parents are). As a woman you have to be comfortable with your decisions… It’s your head got real!
Apologies for typos… Especially using the phone with auto correct.
Thank you so much for sharing your view here, especially after a Sistah Soldier response like the one you respectfully responded to. It constantly grates on my nerves for certain black women to so strongly believe EVERYTHING WRONG in this world points back to ‘da white man/devil’ and proclaim it very loudly. Amazingly and completely absolving black men for ANY role they may have in the denegration of the black woman’s image. Self hatred is real, and not necessarily salvagable. A sinking ship will go down. I too have dated inter-ethnically/interracially all my adult life, am in my late 30s, and have NEVER had a bad/negative/accusatory/hate-filled comment/discussion about my natural hair, that I’ve worn for well over 15 years. The ONLY time it has ever occurred has been with black men who seem to think it’s their ‘right’ to let me know just how they feel about my/our hair. Outragious and puny examples of real men.
Hello Sistah Soldier.
It constantly grates on my nerves for certain black women to so strongly believe and proclaim loudly that EVERYTHING WRONG in this world points back to ‘da white man/devil’…but amazingly and completely absolving black men for ANY/all roles they may have in the denegration of the black woman’s image. Self hatred is real, and not necessarily salvagable. A sinking ship will go down. I have dated inter-ethnically/interracially all my adult life, am in my late 30s, and have NEVER had a bad/negative/accusatory/hate-filled comment/discussion about my natural hair, that I’ve worn for well over 15 years. The ONLY time it has ever occurred has been with black men who seem to think it’s their ‘right’ to let me know just how they feel about my/our hair/body/person. Outragious and puny examples of real men they’ve proven themselves to be. Ignore that if you must for your ‘sanity’. None of us alive experienced Slavery/Middle Passage and only a much older generation experienced Jim Crow(for the most part). We put our ancestors to shame with what we allow/have allowed as an excuse for overwhelmingly poor examples of men in our midst/communities.
If you want to jump into the present, I’d strongly encourage you to pick up a recent read/book entitled “Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America” by Melissa V. Harris-Perry. That should give you a very scientific, real world view of what’s happening with black women/girls right here and now and most importantly-for you- who’s responsible for it. Doesn’t make common sense to give energy/un-requitted/unreciprocated love/help/ resources to ANYONE who does not see my value and automatically chooses to dismiss/lower my value ONLY because I’m a black woman. And yes, black men are notorious for this very belief. Ignore it at your own detriment. Peace
And we shouldn’t be using the word nappy!
It’s a shame that she never exposed her natural to him while they were dating. He had to walk in on her after they were married to actually see her hair. Wow. He got use to her wearing weaves all the time.
I saw this episode and agree; his attitude was bad, but she shares blame in wearing a weave for 9 years straight
Maybe she didn’t want to.
Omg it has nothing to do with slavery and everything to do with not allowing a person to see the real you until years later I.e. No makeup,no weave,no body wraps,spanks etc don’t let me marry the fake u then you show me the real you wtf
That’s a huge mistake women make. All that get up isn’t you and if you’re afraid of revealing your true self, you’ve got bigger problems.
Can you really blame his reaction? I have friends whose real hair I’ve never seen. I hear men speak on not knowing what their woman’s hair looks like. When you constantly wear weave you have to prepare for some sort of reaction.
Running out the house is Beyond childish and uncalled for.
YOOOO I’m watching this like you have length experiment play with your hair!!! She said she hasn’t worn it out SHE WANTS TO VISIT CURLY NIKKI y’all wait they’re gonna make beautiful babies! And that hair he is gonna fall in love with! She hasn’t even had her hands in her hair yet! It’s long enough to entice him WATCH!! He hasn’t seen natural hair yet!!!!
He’s gonna love her hair even with out all the experimenting! I can see he’s gonna love it!! She has good hair of course he would! Patience
Cute couple. The lady’s husband was supportive by the end of the video.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO WELL HE HAS TO LOOK AT HER EVERYDAY !! && I HATE WEAVE!
He’s silly her natural hair is more beautiful than the weave tbh
I think her first mistake was not talking about it first. I’ve been married for two years, dated my husband for 6years & been natural for almost 2years. He’s seen me perm it, weave it & all & before going natural I did my research informed him on my hair type, what it will look like & before my big chop transitioned with him telling me warming up to the idea of my natural hair. He was there for my big chop so there was no surprises & now he’s fully adjusted & use to it because he knows I needed this change to occur for me to see the results I’ve dreamed of.
Limp lifeless…hate when I get the naturally straight hair days…
Looks better natural.
She’s beautiful either way. But she looks fresh in the natural.
Natural all the way!
when i met my husband i was wearing weave and wigs , when i decided to loc my hair it was a shock for him .. he told me it was the best thing i ever decided to do ..but as my locs started growing he ended up loving it much i do ..he won’t even allow me to dye my hair now ..and he told me later on that it is the best choice and practical thing i eer done with my hair 🙂 changes are not easy but usually the most difficult ones are the more worthy … i like her much more with her natural hair she looks much more classy and mature ..a real african queen she is..and her hair look healthy too
I like having natural hair. I exposed my hair after only a month of dating my man and we’re going on two years now. Its crazy that he didn’t see her hair until after they were married tho. Tbh, it doesn’t look bad at all!
Natural hair is the best, he’s such a ass. She look sooo beautiful theres no weave that can and enhance that that beautiful face as a natural hair can .you go girl u rock that hair.
If a black man can’t accept a black woman in her natural state, then he is a fool
Sad.
I just told my spouse I’m going natural and he was like wow is that the kind of rough look you had once before I laughed because he’s not black so of course he figured it that way but he’s fine with it.
I think she looks great with natural hair. It’s funny if the roles were reversed and white people naturally had hair like black people did it would be seen as beautiful by societal standards. And if black people naturally had straight hair, straight hair would then be seen as not acceptable.
He’s a bitch if he can’t love you for your real hair
Did he marry the hair or the woman? If he is upset about something as trivial as hair: just think if she had something serious going on like cancer. He’s a self centered ass-Period
ok, well the woman have to share the blame. she didnt reveal it to him and show her real self. she just as trival by your logic
Why should we/she “reveal” hair?!? Character traits are real like loyalty, honesty and love not silly packaging like hair. Black folks should stop w/that silly hair nonsense. Would you love your man if he changed his hair; if you don’t then you don’t love him at all-Period
She looks good with here natural hair
Ignorance.
She looks soo beautiful without the weave! Even if yougot hair and wanna have a track or two dont allow your spouse to make all the decisions on whats best foryou… I say she should do it only for her and if her husband dont like it he should go!
Nice Hair Natural
Natura
Naturel looks good
I watched the Steve Harvey. She was on there with her husband. Now she’s know how to wear her natural but in different styles
Natural hair rocks, periof!!
Gotta b happy in ur own skin no matter what anyone thinks… I love natural hair
One word: Divorce.
My hair has never been thick, (at least not in the top and on the sides) and is thinning the older I get. But I still love my natural hair…thin & naturally wavy/curly. Whatever texture, it’s mine and I rock it as best I can.
She looks regal with her natural hair.
Girl maybe you need a divorce, if he that worried about hair maybe he gay.
Shame on him. However, I think there’s a place for both looks. What’s really important is that YOU’RE totally comfortable with which look you choose. Remember you can change your mind as many times as you like X
She looks better natural.
Natural looks great
She looks more youthful with the weave. But She could achieve that look with her own hair too.
He has way too much time on his hands
Most black men have an unreal obession about women & long hair…makes me wonder if they would have chosen you at all if you didnt have long hair when they first met you?…if its such a big deal now! Maybe there is some kind of compromise or meeting point the two of them can find so both are satisfied…but it will require sacrifice on both their parts.
Nappy and love it!
People will never be satisfy no matter if they wear weave or not , smh
Like it natural
We as women need to take the time and show that we are beautiful by showing who we are. We are not defined and limited by our hair. It’s time to change.
I think its sad and disappointing that she was sitting there blaming herself and her husband let her. Yes, The weave was apart of her identity…but she changed. Her husband married her through thick and thin not through “long hair don’t care”. He was shocked and was well within his right to be uncomfortable at first. However, the decision to go natural was a wavering one so he should have eventually supported her. After 2 YEARS he still hasn’t gotten over the shock and his wife is compromising by only wearing the weaves she’s trying to stay away from? Something doesn’t connect. I think she did her best to meet him half way…he had more than enough time to meet her in the middle.
i wish them the best of luck in the future.
Men need to be more open minded & see that a woman’s true beauty is beyond her hair.
Goodness gracious I just watched the video and I am so grateful for my husband and his open mind! When we first met, I wore my hair in braids and would wear the braids in various styles. Way before we got married, I had taken out my braids to give my hair a break and the first thing he said to me was, “Wow! I love your hair that way!” Now mind you, my hair was short and I had like a little boy haircut or “pixie” and he loved it! Okay fast forward to the future, my hair has grown and I share every hair experience with him. This includes letting my perm grow out, chopping off the ends and just go natural. He loves to play with my hair and run his fingers through it. I appreciate his support whenever I do my hair regiment and he’s just fascinated of how much effort and time I put into my hair. I recently put my hair back in braids (just touching my shoulders) as a protective hair style. My husband let’s me know that he married the women “inside, not the outside, not that I don’t like the way you look, you fine as hell” but whatever makes you happy and your hair is cool except one thing, no weaves. When I asked him why, he stated, I like touching a women’s hair, not the tracks in her head. Okay, not a problem for me! He also states he prefers my hair natural, flat iron is okay, he doesn’t care for the chemicals at all and he doesn’t mind when I use extensions to braid my hair.
I love “Loves” natural hair and I feel after a while her husband will come to appreciate her and her hair, just like my husband does and by the way, my husband is white and has long hair down to his butt!
P.S. He’s dated black women before we met, rides a Harley, worked in construction after he left the Military (Viet Nam veteran), now retired and just a really nice and God fearing man….I’ve been blessed!
you sure are!
I want one !! lol.
She looks nice with natural hair
This lady is beautiful with either or hairstyle and her husband didn’t marry her for her hair he married her for who she is and vice versa.
Girl you look beautiful with natural hair
She actually looks better natural, looks more real & NATURAL!!!!
She looks cuter with the natural!
She look older with the natural hair
This is true. I’ve noticed it can go either way. To me, some people are not confident in their big chops and all of that and along with the texture and length, the heavy make-up and certain accessories (bringing less attention to the hair) seem to make some people look noticeably older than they are as well.
No it’s the style she choose
It does
Yeah she does and usually it’s the opposite. I think its the makeup
She’s still a beautiful lady, so what’s his problem, other than wanting to tell her how to wear her hair, suppose she wants him to do a hair change.
With a little patience, her hair will grow long and beautiful! See naptural85’s webpage. It took 3 years to grow to 22 inches, and now she wears her hair in really pretty styles.
Everybody’s hair won’t grow 22inches
I NEVER said that everyone’s hair will grow 22 inches! I said her hair grew 22 inches!! Good grief!!!
That’s right!
Thank you!!!!!
Jullie moeten dat filmpje echt zien, had die guy ALLANG geloest
Weave is more youthful
Explain yourself
If someone wears the wrong weave or wig, they can also look like hell. Weave and wigs is not for everyone, just like wearing natural hair takes a level of discipline to maintain, that some people just can’t achieve. People want a challenge, go natural, no weave, and see how long they can last.
I prefer weave hair… Although my real hair is long.. I don’t like to straighten it, so weaves are better
It’s too much work with natural hair… I refuse to relax or so anything to damage it, so I braid it up and wear weaves. It’s just easier
It’s quite easy for these words to roll off of his tongue considering his wife’s hair usually looks nothing at all like that texture or length. All in all, she is beautiful and what’s meant to be, will be.
He’s going to leave her for a girl who naturally has straight hair. Shouldn’t have married him if he can’t accept you in yor natural state.
Natural hair is not for everybody !!!!!!! Who really cares !!!!!! It’s her hair wear it the way you want to……….
Either/or! Does it matter? I wear my hair both ways depending on how I feel and what the weather’s like!
His misconception that natural hair takes time to grow is wrong. All hair grows at different rates. No matter if it’s relaxed or not. Some people’s hair grow faster than other’s. She should be able to wear her hair how she chooses to wear it and what she feels comfortable with. I understand that when they first met she were weave and then decided to take it out. He should be supportive in her decision to wear her natural hair. I’m so glad I didn’t have this problem with my husband. He in fact encouraged me to return natural when I was in between and couldn’t make a decision. It’s the best decision I could ever make! She’s beautiful and I hope that her husband comes around and gives her the support that she needs. She too needs to be comfortable with wearing her hair in its natural state as well. Until then both parties will not be satisfied.
although I believe a woman can wear her hair how she chooses I see the husband’s point of view, let’s not act like appearance isn’t a part of the package when dating and deciding to marry someone, if he was attracted to the way she looked before and she changed it up on him once she got him I can see how he may have a strong reaction to that
I am so blessed to have a husband that loves all of me including my natural hair!
I think she’s more beautiful au naturel. Jessina Stokes, her husband may be one for thinking the hair makes the woman. Not good.
I think woman should wear there natural hair at all time that is part them just like there body there are need to put some esle hair on your head
Men can be cruel at times I think she looks good.
Natural
So happy my husband supports my natural hair.
Thank goodness my husband loves my hair with weave or without
Its what she wants, not her hudband they can talk and come to an agreement
Guys always complaining abt how they want they woman to look and wear but half of em look like somebody slapped em with babypowder, chapped lips, dirty ears, stank breath and yellow teeth, boy pleasssssaaaa!
There are certain styles for me a man I’m with can’t wear. To each their own I truly feel this.
Keep weaving in the end
You in up with no hair
Natural the way to go:-) 🙂 🙂
So I guess her husband wants her to be something she’s not. Going natural shows your self beauty. It’s OK to where weave every now n then but all the time eventually your real hair gone fall out.
I’m a natural, haven’t worn a weave or extensions in over 10 years, i think they look really nice a lot of times, but I just can’t deal with the fact of knowin it’s not mine, the itchy scalp and the thought of losing edges and hair thinning and all the other issues for the well known fake look, I’d rather go natural, though I agree it’s a lot of work
Some men like the fact that women like to wear wigs , weaves
fake eyelashes , fake nails ,
fake toenails , butt implants , breast implants .
But when she gets tired of puttin on this image ,now he does want to except what a real women is !!
NATURAL BLACK & BEAUTIFUL !!!
SO LEAVE HIM AND LET HIM FIND A FAKE WOMEN THAT LIKE TO KEEP HER IMAGES !!!
Did he marry her or Yaki #10?
Love that question imposed on the husband
#TruthfulAnswerPlease
Great segment
Did you all forget we were born with natural hair.Whats the big deal we always had a Choice☝️
Well glad my husband love me the way I am with weave & without
I hate it to do something with it
Learn to accept yourselves….her natural hair is who she is
Who told u your own hair wasn’t good enough…actually. .its better..but you won’t believe it.
Why is natural pic so.dark
I like the natural
Sounds like he gas a case of greco roman beauty syndrome. Don’t understand what makes a black man find that appealing. Thank you Jesus I found a black man that loves black beauty.
I love her natural hair a lot better than the weave. She looks real and beautiful. Weaves creates a false illusion as to who we are as African American really are. We are beautiful.
Why can’t we as women just respect the next woman decision?? Whatever she feels comfortable in rather it’s natural,a weave or relaxer.
That’s what I’m talking about
What kind of husband is that if you love her love her look how you love the fake and not the real whats wrong with him love is unconditional
I think what’s so upsetting about partners disliking their spouse’s natural hair is that – it’s natural! They didn’t dye it some crazy colour or chemically alter it to something it’s not. It’s their hair how it grows from their head. It would be like wearing coloured contacts and then your partner saying “I don’t like your eyes, can you put the contacts back in?” Or asking them to put their fake tan & make-up back on because they don’t like their natural complexion. It’s just not right.
Everybody is coming down on the poor guy. We must not forget that society teaches us like Steve said that long sleek hair is beautiful and black natural hair is not. Things are changing, but not as fast as we would like. He should be given some time to adapt and get use to her new look. I must say I respect the guy for sharing his point of view with her and nevertheless keep an open mind to accept her new look!! Which obviously he was working hard at.