Shortly after my move to NYC I knew that it was time to finally bite the bullet, and chop off the rest of my relaxed ends. So within 2 weeks of being a newbie New Yorker, that’s just what I did! However, I wasn’t in love with the way the short twa looked on me, so I quickly installed a protective crochet style. Also, within 2 months I met a new guy and we started dating.
When I met him, I had the crochet style in my hair, which looked like it was basically growing out of my scalp because it was installed so well! During the time we were dating he would comment on how much he really liked my hair, and how good it looked on me.
His affirmations made me feel so great, that I continued to keep the protective style installed (not the same install, but would reinstall every 6 weeks or so).
It got to the point where I would cancel seeing him, or make up some excuse if It was wash day, and I didn’t want him to see my natural hair because I was worried that he wouldn’t like me after seeing my natural hair.
One day, I was chatting with a few of my close girlfriends, who too happen to be naturalistas, and they said that their men love their natural hair in all of it’s various states.
They also said how liberating it feels to know that they don’t have to be ashamed of parts of them, and get wigs* or weaves*. Also, they said if a guy doesn’t love your natural hair, or anything about you for that matter, than that’s not the guy you want or need anyways.
That conversation got me to thinking. I guess I never really gave my guy a chance to see my natural hair and it was my own insecurities that I was projecting onto him, to make me think that he probably wouldn’t look at me the same way when he say my natural hair.
So, I decided to cancel the next crochet appointment install and wore my hair in a diffused wash n go on our next date, just to finally face it and see how my boyfriend would react to my natural hair- and he loved it!
He said it fit my face very well, and he couldn’t stop smelling my hair- he said it smelled like juices and fresh berries. And to think, all this time I thought he was going to hate my natural hair, and dump me.
This may seem like I was being a bit dramatic, or extreme, but I know that this is a real issue that many women face. So many women, like myself, are afraid or ashamed to wear their hair out of weaves*, or wigs* because of what others might think-whether you are a relaxed or natural.
And if you are reading this, and it is you, then I challenge you to leave that insecurity in 2015, and embrace all of you, which includes your hair.