A while back I was talking to a friend of mine who has relaxed hair. Her hair was thick, but it’s a bit dry and brittle, and she has a flaky scalp. She was also not retaining any noticeable length. (Her hair had been the same length since high school. I won’t date myself, but trust me, it’d been a while! We were gabbing about products, and I immediately realized what her problem was: Product overload and no clear regimen. So, being the awesome friend that I am, I asked her about it.
Perhaps my question made her feel judged? (Which was not my intention; I’m no hair nazi!) Or perhaps she felt bad because I noticed the problem, which she thought (or convinced herself) was unnoticeable? Did she think I was about to pressure her to go natural? At any rate, I had offended my friend and I had no intention of doing so. So I apologized, and expressed my feelings of wanting to help. Trust me, I know how some feel that their hair is representative of their outer self, and I hate to make anyone feel bad. I’m a helper, not a hater! Ugh, I felt awful.
Sooo, after I smoothed things over (I’m pretty good at it, trust me, chocolate and pastries and wine help a lot), I told her that I too, used to have a terrible dandruff problem, and my hair was dry too. Thus, came our next roadblock:
“Ash, are you blind? My hair is chemically straightened. I can’t use the same stuff you use! My hair is supposed to be easier to take care of! Why does your hair seem better than mine?”
*sigh*. Pent up aggression, much?
OK, so I gave her some advice, and perhaps the same advice will help some of the other relaxed beauties out there.