7 Tips On Handling Holiday Negativity Aimed At Your Natural Hair

7 tips on handling holiday negativity on your natural hairThe holidays are upon us. Whether you are in sunny California with a slight dip in temperatures at night or like me in the dead of winter in Denver where frigid temperatures are stagnant and below zero.

No matter where you call home or lay your head, the winter is here. Now the weather is only one indicator of what time of the year it is. Another indicator is the nature of the commercials on TV.

They are telling us what to buy for your family and friends (and they make it hard to resist with the slashing of prices) or the sappy TV movies showing loving families with mediocre problems that melt away by the end to show the true meaning of the holidays.

An even BIGGER indicator is the urge from family and friends to get together whether at holiday parties or holiday dinners prepared by grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and siblings. It sounds warm and inviting, but sometimes IT AINT!

Holiday Grief About Your Natural Hair

Now, I am not going to say that natural haired women get most of the grief from family members for their hairstyles… wait… I think I am.

I am not in the mood to mince words. Mostly natural haired women get grief from family members for their hairstyles and more so around the holidays.


Yes, there are thousands of black women wearing their natural hair but there are thousands more that do not. Add the thousands that say nasty things about natural hair and even to your face and you start to feel we carry an unfair burden. What is even worse is that many are in our own families.

So fast-forward to a special event,  you are at the Christmas Party/Kwanzaa dinner (or whatever else you may choose to refer to it as) and a brother, sister, or some other relative comes up and wrinkles their nose at your hair.

They say something negative about your hair or natural hair in general. What do you do?

Well, here are a few tips on how to handle those ugly moments.

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About Sabrina Perkins


Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, http://www.seriouslynatural.org/ where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at www.seriouslynatural.spreadshirt.com

About Sabrina Perkins


Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, http://www.seriouslynatural.org/ where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at www.seriouslynatural.spreadshirt.com

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Tamika BirminghamJai BacoteRARaynel BeallSabrina Perkins Recent comment authors
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Kimberly Champion

“girl, what u got going on with ur head?” ” when are u going to go comb ur hair?” “i know ur not wearing ur hair like that, are u?” “oh. so thats a natural…” “heres a pretty scarf for u to tie around ur head.”
~ my family

Alma Ruddock

Omg! That’s awful! Families ca be meaner than total strangers. Smh

Shalonda Lee Hood

I don’t mean to offend but, those are so funny but also hurtful.

Lisa M.
Lisa M.

I have only experienced negativity about my hair from my siblings and grandmother. She’s an old school press & curl woman who feels she’s perfectly ok speaking her mind when it comes to my hair. She constantly tells me how nappy it is (even when I try to correct her and tell her it’s curly, not nappy). I’m amazed at my siblings who feel my natural hair choice is open to discussion or debate. It’s not. I tell them they weren’t consulted when I made this decision so their opinions aren’t needed. Now my friends, on the other hand, are ALL super supportive. Even strangers have told me how beautiful my hair is. Funny, I thought it was just me until I read this article. I would have guessed that I’d have more support from those closest to me instead of it being the other way around. But such is life and I’m not deterred in any way, shape or form, from continuing my hair journey. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life and I’m much happier as a result.

Antasia Moi

I like the hair, nice & it’s real!

Bri
Bri

I went completely natural a good 3 months ago.My mother has very unhealthy ,but long permed hair. My family always thought that when hair is out in an afro, that it needs to be straightened/relaxed because it is not presentable in public. My mother judges my hair everytime I choose a new style ,but my friends love it! Guess I have to deal with it lol. Going to try a little less confrontational approach considering she is my mother and I do not want to get slapped!

Nnika Cromwell

My family my dad mainly always has the sarcastic comments to make about everything including hair. He taught me well though cause I always snap back with an equally bitting comment about his baldness and potbelly. Lol

Sonia Hazard
Sonia Hazard

Oh, please know that it says more about their insecurities about their hair when they make a negative comment about yours. It’s a personal preference, and just like I don’t tell you how to do your hair, don’t say a word to me about mine…unless there’s something in it that shouldn’t be. 😉

Erica Williams
Erica Williams

My mother hate I BC a month ago and called me names. I was surprised but I’m use to her overreacting of little ish. Also I decided not to perm my soon to be 10yr old daughter’s hair( she is mixed with Hispanic) . I started with texturizers around 5ys old because I couldn’t get a comb through it and basically didn’t know how to deal with hair that wasn’t straight. At someone point I started perms and my mother would help when it wasn’t in the budget. Also her edges are sensitive and every month they would break off even with bonnets and pillowcase. Her hair touches her shoulder blades. I love her natural texture which is loose to tight spiral curls. My mother is highly pissed and threaten to call CPS because I refuse to get her hair relaxed! I’m at loss of words but it’s not about her and I have the final say so and that’s what pissed her off. She feel since she is 30 yrs my senior that she is right. I know my mother is crazy and I love her but the gloves came off when you threaten me like that. My daughter was crying and saying their is nothing wrong with her hair. I wash and condition every 2 weeks and I take that time to make sure as her mom that it is healthy.

Melissa
Melissa

My mother and father’s disgust is because i big chopped my hair. My grandmother always preached a woman’s worth and beauty is in her hair and she should not cut the hair god gave her and my mother tried to use the spell on me. And i replied to them that i am choosing to wear the hair God gave me the way He gave it to me. I informed my father that i was not born with straight hair and that i had to chemically change my hair to get it to look like that. With that they backed off a little. My mother still complains that it is too thick and it will be sooo nappy. But she does not know how much research i have put into my hair before making this decision. I know once it grows back they will love it. until I love it enough for me and anyone else who might not.

Raynel Beall

My family loves my natural hair.It’s my non black co workers who do all the bitching.When it’s flat ironed or relaxed they go on and on about how “nice” it looks smdh

RA
RA

LOL I don’t have family members or friends crazy enough to ever attempt to come at me sideways about my hair. They know better and although I wouldn’t go off on them, they know they’d get checked to the point of being ready to leave the festivities after I was done reading them up, down, left to right.. If I don’t say anything about that lopsided wig or mangled horsehair weave they’re sporting, then better not say one word about the beautiful, thick, massive amount of curls I have growing from my scalp..

Jai Bacote

Dang, it’s rough out here for us “black” women no refuge if our own loved ones are doing that

Tamika Birmingham

Family is where most of the negativity starts!