The other night, in the midst of a full blown “Lala’s Full Court Life” re-run marathon, Lala Anthony’s mother gave her some interesting pre-marital advice: never go to bed with a scarf on.
This is far from a new healthy hair debate and it would take an entire post of its own to hash out both sides of the argument. From the liberal “he should accept you for who you are and be more understanding” to the “No way! How do you expect to keep the spice?” the spectrum has many different opinions.
While not in a serious relationship myself, I must admit that I fall on the more conservative end. The reality is I have spent countless hours trying to think up cute yet innovative ways to protect my ends while not killing the fantasy. I am still working out the mathematical formula to the number of days, weeks and months that it might take to make the appearance of the head scarf acceptable. Don’t hold your breath.
Nonetheless, a tight budget and a slight lack of motivation has kept me from trying out ideas that require new supplies. So, more often than not, free, unwrapped hair wins followed by serious morning after TLC. As of late, that method has started to take a negative toll on my hair. In a deadly combination of summertime heat and a four-month relaxer stretch, I am losing this battle.
So now here we are. I’ve made a new promise to my hair that it will be wrapped every night, despite the sleeping arrangements. There have been some pretty shady tactics involved in this process. A few that I am only sharing for the benefit of my healthy hair sisters, embarrassment aside.
This has included going to bed last and waking up first and even mastering lights off hair wrapping techniques I know, I know don’t judge me; he is cute! Regardless of my super spy antics, and recent success with my new rule, I figured there had to be a better way.
Scarves aren’t really appealing to men,but healthy beautiful hair is,so if you wear a scarf explain that to your man. I don’t always wear a scarf ,but I did invest in some nice satin pillow cases and pillows.
Monique Wilson says
Put that scarf on if he has an issue find a new man….. Protecting your hair is fine if he can’t understand that then he needs to go
I’m so thankful to have a husband who doesn’t care. He sees how hard I work take care of my hair, and wouldn’t think of asking me not to wear my scarf. Not only do I have a scarf, I have a wrap cap and bonnet for traveling. The only say so he’s had when it comes to my scarves and such was picking the color of my bonnet. 🙂
I believe most men would rather not see it but will ignore or tolerate it if we just keep it simple. If I where one that isn’t basic black and tied simply in the back my husband never says anything or never seems to notice it at all . I believe this is mostly because it’s not calling attention to itself. But If I try out a busy or lighter colored one or anything tied in the front or top it always seems to get his attention. In those instances I will notice that he just takes a quick look at it and sometimes he’ll say “what happened to the black one.” 😀 So I try to keep it simple and not get his attention with it because I know he loves me for me but I also want to stay in his fantasies as well.
Liz Marie Maysonet Sostre says
Wearing a scarf to bed can look cute. I don’t see why a guy would make an issue of it.
Angela Kyser says
My deceased ex boyfriend use to say, I know you not going to bed without tying up your head.
Falisha Kinsey says
If he can’t look at me with my scarf on my head while I sleep then I dont need him. So no going to sleep last or waking up early. Just crazy.
I make sure my scarves are very pretty and feminine when I do wear them to bed and honestly, if you hair is in one of those pineapples with a scarf, that is actually a very cute hair do! If you are sleeping on a satin or silk pillowcase (silk will not get hot for those who sweat at night) your hair will still get smashed, will be less frizzy, still all over your head but the actual benefit is it will not be dry. Cotton causes friction and sucks the life out of hair so make sure that pillow is covered right! My vote is for wear your scarf! A scarf is way sexier than a bonnet, haha!