Sending Your Child to School with Messed Up Hair? Don’t Get Mad if the Teacher Fixes It

IMG_10181-378x414Have ya’ll heard about this yet? Well if you haven’t let me be the first to spill the tea for you. A teacher’s photo recently went viral on social media. Happens all the time, right?

Well this time it was a picture of one of her students. The young girl came to school with tangled hair and lint balls and being thy child’s keeper she decided that she would comb the child’s hair and take a few photographs for good measure. She then took her good deed a step further and posted what she did on Facebook with the following message:

“So one of my students came to school today with her hair full of knots, lint, and ridiculously tangled. It looked like it hadn’t been touched the entire holiday break…so my classroom became a salon. The photo on the left is before, and the right after. It just broke my heart so badly that I refused to let her leave school today the same way she came. When I finished she looked at herself and said “aww so pretty” … the beauty is that she is normally non-verbal. So now I’m crying lol. My day has been made!”

There is a lot of attention being given to this story, some people are chastising the teacher for touching the child’s hair at all and others are pissed off that she put the picture on social media, while others think what she did was great. We will undoubtedly hear your opinion, but first here are a few of the comments from social media:

From another teacher:

“I currently teach elementary school in the NYC public school system. In my 11 years of teaching, I had to be doctor, nurse, financier/atm machine, therapist, tailor, laundress (yes, I have had to wash some of my students’ clothes in my apt because their parents would send them to school with hoodies/jackets that haven’t been washed in ages!), and hair stylist. Trust, my kids would pass their exams with flying colors too. I don’t play games with my students’ academics.

“The point is when you care and love your students, teachers don’t hesitate to go the extra 5 miles for their students. That’s exactly what this teacher is doing.”

From a parent:

“That’s a very passive aggressive way of telling her parents that they’re sh*%y parents.”

From other commentators:

“If you’re sending your child to school with messed up hair then don’t get mad if the teacher fixes it. Appearance and dress codes exist for a reason!”

“She shouldn’t have shared her good deed. She wanted a pat on the back, which turned a good thing into something tainted with hidden motives. Facebook f*cks people all up.”

As you can imagine, the comments were all over the place, here is my opinion, I think what the teacher did was awesome.

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About Petra

Hi I'm Petra Lomax , a staff writer and editor for . I am Jamaican born and raised and moved to the United States in my early 20's. I have a BA in Political Science and International relations as well as an MBA and a Masters In Project Management. I love travel, culture and anything that has to do with creative media and business.

About Petra

Hi I'm Petra Lomax , a staff writer and editor for . I am Jamaican born and raised and moved to the United States in my early 20's. I have a BA in Political Science and International relations as well as an MBA and a Masters In Project Management. I love travel, culture and anything that has to do with creative media and business.


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  1. Dawn

    I support teachers that go above and beyond for the students in their classroom. Our teachers are underpaid and under appreciated while they have one of the most precious tasks on the face if this earth – educating our children.

    That being said, I applaud the teacher for stepping up and fixing the little girl’s hair. What is not right is posting on social media. It appears that she wanted people to notice the ‘good’ that she did. It’s screaming ‘Look what I did!’ It taints the good deed.


      I agree with you Dawn, the teacher should not have posted the picture on social media and it does cancel out the good deed she has done. Matthew 6:2-4 (Message Version) states, “When you do something for someone else, don’t call attention to yourself. You’ve seen them in action, I’m sure–‘playactors’ I call them–treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that’s all they get. When you help someone out, don’t think about how it looks. Just do it–quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out.

      The teacher’s giving came in the form of her time and attention she spent on combing her student hair. At the end of the day, she could have spoken with the mother about what she did and how it lifted her daughter’s self-esteem. All of this could have been done in a loving way without the use of social media. As I see it, the teacher wanted praise for what good deed she had done and what better way to get it is with social media. The teacher may not have to get the mother’s approval because now when you register your children in school, there is a form that the parent’s sign to give or not give their permission to have their child picture taken for the use of the school newspaper, the regular newspaper, social media, etc. Parents need to be aware of the forms they are signing when they are registering their children in school. I would always mark no, when I filled out my child forms.

      1. Tracy

        I totally agree. She did a good deed, let that be that! No need to snap a pic and post it online…without the parents consent! Too many people needing a pat on the back when they do what they should do already. She’ a teacher and a quasi-parent for a portion of the day. Kids are a mess most of the time, so helping them out just comes along with the territory! Good job, but stop fishing for compliments at this family’s expense.

        1. I Know What You're Thinking

          It actually is not the teacher’s job to manage the child’s hair. It is the mother’s job. Though I certainly love what the teacher has done for the child’s hair, I don’t think she should have touched her hair without the consent of the parent. Regardless of her intentions, posting the pic on facebook was not the right route to take. That’s like giving $100.00 to a homeless person and then going to the papers with the story. Also, people today are too “sue happy” and anything could have gone wrong. #2, That teacher is there to teach and not be a substitute “mommy” and do the child’s hair. It is also appalling that I see where she said she washed some of the student’s clothes. Come on now….where is the accountability on the part of the parent? The parent is responsible for insuring that their child’s hair is combed, their bodies are clean as well as their clothes. True, there are many neglectful parents out there, but someone must bring their rightful duties as a parent to their attention. Be it the teacher or a school official such as principal or vice principal. Can you imagine if the teacher had almost a classroom full of children that were neglected by their parent (s) as far as hair combing, etc and took on the responsibility? There would be no time to do what she is paid to do which is teach.

    2. Dee Louden

      I grew up in the baltimore school system and I was the 3rd child out of 4. Lost my parents at a young age. We’re I lived we were poor. I had low self esteem but I had a 4th grade teacher name Ms. Mclane I could never think her enough for giving me the love she gave me. She would make sure my hair was done clothes was clean and would even come get me every other weekend for church and so on…. In other words I support GREAT TEACHERS …. I support people who cares about others and some times children needs to know that people care about them when there in bad situations.

      Thanks for reading

  2. MsKat

    You know, while I don’t think I agree with posting the photos on social media, I am glad at least it was the back of the head and a generic shirt anyone might have been wearing. I don’t think the hairdo is the part the teacher was most excited about though, I think it was the non verbal child finally speaking that caused her to be excited enough to throw second thought to the wind and post about the whole thing. I’m kind of glad she posted, because I am so tired of all the negative images I see on social media. Although a bit of chastising is in order about posting the pictures, I hope they aren’t too hard on her.

  3. Steen How

    I thought there was a backstory that the teacher asked the mother of she could do her hair and the mother purchased the hair products. Either way I thought it was nice of the teacher to do so. But she shouldn’t have posted it on social media. That should have just been confidential between her and the parent. But she did do a great job on her hair

  4. Tishauna

    She did the deed with good intentions but she didn’t need to post the picture and especially not that caption. That’s embarrassing for the parent, but at the same rate the parent shouldn’t have sent their child to school with her hair the way it was.

    My sister once for upset with a daycare teacher because she took out my nephews hair (which was in twists because my sister wanted to loc it). The teacher never touched his hair again however she makes snide remarks to my sister’s fiance about the child’s hair. Smh…some teacher don’t know their lane..but this teacher did a good job. It shows that some teachers do actually care about the well being of their children and don’t just see them as a mother pay check. And in the end her hair looked good and the child was happy. If the parent wasn’t happy, well they’ve learned their lesson not to send their child with unkempt hair. I just want to know where she got the supplies to do this lol.

  5. MsLynk

    Now I have had a teacher fix my daughter hair after my child had dismantled the way I did it. I definitely appreciated it! I hope that the little girl’s parents did too. I don’t agree with sharing the pic but sharing the story focusing on her finally speaking would have been more acceptable.

  6. Nicole

    There’s no excuse for sending your child with lent and not styled!!! That’s just bad parenting!! The teacher was wrong for posting the pics!! She could’ve just sent it to the parents!

  7. Honeyamber1

    I too applaud the teacher’s efforts. That being said, it would have been nice to get the parent’s permission before doing her hair at all, which would demonstrate respect and deference. Hair in general is a touchy subject as we all know, particularly our hair in a” Euro-centric” society. Perhaps the parent(s) wanted her hair to look like that, point is, we don’t know the back story. While I commend the teacher for styling the little girl’s hair, her motive to take a before and after picture and post it online is suspect and says more about her.

  8. Renee Shines
    Renee Shines

    From my understanding on another post this child has special needs & the mother gave the teacher permission because she had a hard time getting her to sit still long enough to do her hair sometimes.

    1. Nita Pierre
      Nita Pierre

      That was the case.. people judging her mother without getting the full story smh.. the mother gave her permission to comb her hair.. smh

    2. Jamila Kelly
      Jamila Kelly

      wow. Thank you for clearing that up ! I almost jumped on the “hate on mom” band wagon too . I’m kinda ashamed for assuming like that :/

    3. Elle Daps
      Elle Daps

      Well thank you for clearing that up because it was not well depicted that way in the article

  9. Renee Shines
    Renee Shines

    From my understanding on another post this child has special needs & the mother gave the teacher permission because she had a hard time getting her to sit still long enough to do her hair sometimes.

    1. Nita Pierre
      Nita Pierre

      That was the case.. people judging her mother without getting the full story smh.. the mother gave her permission to comb her hair.. smh

    2. Elle Daps
      Elle Daps

      Well thank you for clearing that up because it was not well depicted that way in the article

    3. Darlene Waller
      Darlene Waller

      the problem isn’t the story, it’s the way the media portrays it. The title here is a downright lie as we all know. I think I’ll unfollow this page due to these games. This page is supposed to be about hair info for women of color. Not the dang Enquirer! We need more unity, not this mess!

  10. Ashley Houston
    Ashley Houston

    Did you read the comments? The story has nothing to do with neglectful parents nor anyone being mad at the teacher. The original page this came from is a Parents and teachers collaboration page. This little girl is a non-verbal special needs child who wouldnt sit down to let anyone touch her hair. The picture went viral and is significant because the little girl finally sat down long enough for her teacher to fix her hair and then afterwards said “pretty hair” (she’s non verbal). Both the teacher and the parents were elated by the situation.

    1. Shalena Kennedy
      Shalena Kennedy

      Ya know its a shame that people dont take the time to find out more. They always wanna just straight to race or neglect. Its sad.

    2. gena

      I’m very grateful that you explained the real deal. Now that i know the whole story, its beautiful.

    3. Donna

      Thanks for pointing this out. Knowing the true context of a situation is best before speaking on it. Does the author of this article know this as well before speaking on it?

    4. Benita El
      Benita El'Gran

      The way the post reads makes the mom look neglectful. “Full of knots & lent as it hadn’t been touched throughout break” smh.

    5. Michelle Shields
      Michelle Shields

      Well it was dad who had her prior to her being dropped off by mom and this photo is going to be used as part of the custody battle according to one of the teachers in the group that stated the photo was not supposed to be shared in the first place.

  11. AmberLace

    Coming from a long line of educators who would go above and beyond for their students, I commend this teacher for taking the time to do this girls hair. It’s entirely possible that not only did this act of kindness make the little girl feel good, but it may have saved her the experience of being teased by other children. I have never sent my daughter to school with her hair undone but I do remember a time when I went to pick up my daughter from kindergarten and she had a big, old knot on her forehead. It happened in the school yard but my daughter never cried or told her teacher about it. With less than 20 kids in the class, the teacher never even noticed this child right in from of her face with a big, red knot on her head. That I found disturbing. I don’t know what the home situation is for this child but speaking for myself, I think that the teacher’s only wrong in this case was posting the picture Facebook. I don’t think she meant any harm and was genuinely touched by the response that something so small had on a child that was previously non-verbal. She should be commended for caring enough to do the child’s hair but informed that posting even a backshot of some one else’s child should have been done with parental consent. Who knows? She might have gotten consent before posting.

  12. Fentress Patrina
    Fentress Patrina

    I agree with the comments, but what bothers me more is under who’s definition is her hair “messed up” on the left photo. When will we stop judging others and accept their style choices for what they are…combed or not?

    1. Temisha Elliott
      Temisha Elliott

      It was matted and had knots throughout her hair. No one ever said in the original post that the left side was bad because it was in its natural state.

    2. Shana Smith
      Shana Smith

      It had cotton balls and fuss in it. Y’all better wake up. Natural does not mean unkept and dirty is acceptable.

    3. Shana Smith
      Shana Smith

      Thank you Temisha Elliott. It’s not the fact that it is natural. The issue was that it was unkept.

  13. Bianca

    I wouldnt mind at all for a teacher to do my childs hair and IF my childs hair is not up to par then that means it has been a rough morning for me aswell. The sharing on Facebook was a little uncalled for but other than that props to the teacher for knowing how to do her hair.

  14. Anette Sanders
    Anette Sanders

    Thanks #Ashley that was informative, now my question is why is this article set up and or worded in such a manner that will piss you off, is this article trying to be controversial or what cause my first thought was to go off until I read Ashley’s comment?

  15. Icshia Leatherwood
    Icshia Leatherwood

    That’s exactly what this article was set up for. Drama. No one will think twice to read the article about the teacher who was given permission to comb a child’s hair. That’s boring lol. Sad but all too true.

    1. anononymous

      Try me! 😛 I love reading inspirational and positive articles, more than drama! <3 JS This is definitely sensationalist click bait, but positivity isn't boring!

  16. Cynthia Enem
    Cynthia Enem

    I have done that a lot! Fixing and making hair for girls with unkept hairs as a teacher way back! Wonder why ds mothers watch their kids go to school looking motherless!

  17. Simone

    I dont think there was anything wrong with teacher doing the child’s hair. She lost me when she put a pic on facebook. Now, that wasn’t appropriate. We never. Know. Anyone’s circumstance, so I. Would say the teacher could write a “non judgemental” letter to the mother.

    1. Ashley Houston
      Ashley Houston

      From the description given by the parent and the teacher, her hair was knotted and uncombed. If that wasn’t the case there would be nothing wrong with it.

  18. LCM

    I was an educator at one time and I too have had to fix more than 1 child’s hair. It broke my heart the way other children teased them. We all know how brutally honest children can be… It completely changed those little girls attitude and performance once they saw how beautiful their hair looked. Ladies, you know how good we feel once we get our hair hooked! I commend the teacher for that, but I do question her posting it on FB. We don’t know the home situation, but clearly that child’s hair didn’t get like that overnight and someone had to get that child dressed and make sure she got to school. I knew the home situation and the mother’s personally of the children’s hair that I did…they were just lazy and didn’t care. They knew it was me who did their daughter’s hair, I never received a thank you or a rebuke from them but they never sent those girls to school with their hair “tore up” again!

  19. Ladee

    The teacher went over and above by doing the child’s hair. And she didn’t show the girl’s face so no one should have a problem with the FB post.

  20. Debra Redman
    Debra Redman

    Teacher was totally wrong for posting the picture on social media. Her parent should retaliate, and file a complain against the BOE. If she’s so concern about her pupils, then she should have had a letter sent home to parents or schedule a conference. Praise doesn’t always result in gratification.

  21. Shariekah Wooten

    I dont think what the teacher did was wrong at all. ..if u care enuff abt ur students, then why not help them out in their time of need. Whether it be academic or not. But I dont believe she should’ve put her pic on FB. It is okay to post about what you did withwords. But not by showing her picture whether it was the back of her head or not.

  22. Doris

    I saw this in my FB feed, and I don’t see the problem. I’m old school (born in the 50’s) and teachers have been combing, feeding, buy things for kids for centuries. It was called back then “I Care”. the only difference is “social media” this generation tells everything in which I still don’t know why you do something, you have to tell the world. Good for that teacher who cared enough to combs that child’s hair! We have so many dysfunctional parenting now days we need people like her! THIS IS ALL GOOD

  23. Kirastin Johnson
    Kirastin Johnson

    This story being circulated like it has been is sad. It shows how quick people are to judge situations that are none of their business in the first place. Shame on all of the people who didn’t even bother to read the full story before they gave their unwanted opinion.

  24. Sarah Walters
    Sarah Walters

    When I worked at a child care worker I had plenty of little girls that would only let me do their hair. Lol

  25. Starlan Hoke
    Starlan Hoke

    I seen a little black boy with a white man the kid hair was matted need washing sad I told a lady what do for child hair she thank me for sharing about moisture for hair this a trip I am 62, for some reason when Perms was was all we know they act like natural hair is a movement well it hair movement was when we was the first blacks in schools learn to make products for yourself there a LOT people heads need a little something that kid head look nice but post it she wrong the after was ok

  26. Toyia Newman-Neal
    Toyia Newman-Neal

    As a teacher I’ve combed children’s hair before but only with parental permission, and the suggestion was made with severe caution and kindness. It’s wrong to blast a child and/or parent. While she did a good deed the comments along with her social media post made it seem cruel and judgemental.

  27. Assata Knox
    Assata Knox

    The additional commentary wasn’t necessary from the teacher, NOR was posting the picture on social media. It became less about the child’s welfare and more about, “Look at me, I’m so wonderful for what I did for one of my students.” Good intentions, but delivery was skewed.

  28. Pamela Smith

    Personally, the teacher did this little girl a favor. Kids can be mean and cruel and no one knows what would have happened to her out on the playground. I don’t feel that it was a dig at the parents at all. She just wanted the girl to look presentable. Now as for posting it on social media, it could have been for a lot of reasons. She might have done it just in case the parents tripped out and lashed out at her for what she did. It was an insurance policy so that she could have social media back up. Truthfully though, she shouldn’t have posted it but what’s done is done. I think the child is blessed to have a teacher that cared so much about her. It could have totally gone in the opposite direction.

  29. Latasha Boone
    Latasha Boone

    Guess what, I have a verbal special needs child and I’m gonna do her hair whether she likes it or not. Once my girl had a preschool teacher who gripped the hair in that kitchen and braided it while she was sleep. I couldn’t even be mad because I couldn’t grip it. I actually think that’s what started the growth back there. Nothing wrong with accepting a lil help.

  30. Jamie Carter-Bailey
    Jamie Carter-Bailey

    The subject is very misleading, it leads people to believe the the parents purposely neglected the child. Smh if anything it should’ve read. ” Non- verbal Special needs child speaks after allowing her teacher to do her hair .” Smh way to uplift people

  31. Tabatha

    I commend the teacher for what she did. I’m not a teacher, but as a child I did stuff like that for my peers that were not exactly considered important in their household. I think that she should have taken the picture for her own private photo collection. To me it comes off as, “Look at this poor child and look what I did for her, she was so happy that she spoke to me, just ME”! Really she should have just kept it to mental memory.
    No offense to the parents but her hair was a mess and needed to be styled. If you don’t want people touching your child’s head then please do their hair.

  32. Denise Mills
    Denise Mills

    She’s out of line , no one asked her to play in their child hair, imagine what the child went through ,while she combed the tangles out, NOT EXCEPTABLE…

  33. NeNe WickedAmbitions
    NeNe WickedAmbitions

    Can someone tell me where to find the original article because what I read seemed as if the teacher was saying the child had lent balls in her hair and it looked as if it had not been touched the whole winter break…. it hurt her to her heart to see the child’s head like that and she refused to send her home looking the same way so her classroom became a salon….. no other link to the story

  34. LeAja Brown Frencher
    LeAja Brown Frencher

    The things we do from the heart doesn’t have to be commended by others…just look at the joy on the child’s face and their spoken words…that enough by itself…somebody told there is a special place in heaven for teachers for all the things we do for our students.

  35. Denise Mills
    Denise Mills


  36. Desiree Carter
    Desiree Carter

    She should have never posted her good deed, but she did the right thing! Some parents don’t realize that a child’s behavior in public has a lot to do with what’s not happening in the home.

  37. Rita Moore
    Rita Moore

    The teacher should ask a parent first for permission to comb hair. teacher you teach why are you combing hair.

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