I was sitting at my vanity mirror after applying the finishing touches of my makeup and I couldn’t help but wonder if it would be first date etiquette to let my date know that sometimes I like to wear a twist out, but then other days I like to throw on my lacefront wig*?
I mean, to me it seems very normal, but would that be something to just casually say on the first date? I really sat there and thought about it for a while, because I really like this guy, but he has only known me with straight long hair.
Either way, I finally stopped thinking and finished getting dressed because I was already late. The date went very well, and we spent hours talking about literally everything- except for my hair.
I mean I just couldn’t find a way to say it. I was afraid that if I did say that I was wearing a wig that he would look at me differently or judge me.
I love my natural hair, and it’s beautiful, but sometimes I simply don’t feel like doing my hair and want to just throw on a quick lace front wig and keep it moving. I’ve been dating this guy for a few weeks now, and it still hasn’t come up.
The only thing was when he would go in to kiss me, he would sometimes try to touch my hair and I would lean back and stop him. It almost is like I’m hiding something from him, because I don’t know if he thinks I’m wearing a sew in, or if it’s my natural hair, but I’m sure he isn’t thinking that it’s a wig*.
I hate the fact that as a black woman I have to feel almost ashamed at the versatility of my hair. Or maybe I don’t “have to” but I do. I still don’t know if telling a guy that you’re wearing extensions*, a wig, or whatever is first date etiquette, but I think if me and my new guy continue to get serious I’m just going to come out and give him a crash course in my hair, and see if he takes it or leaves it. Though, I’m really hoping he takes it!
What are your thoughts on hair and dating? Should I make a thing of this and tell him about my wig or leave it alone?
Sapphira Hayward says
Ummm. If you want to. I have no problem doing so.
Neena Harris says
Agree with Sapphira. Do what you want.
Carmella McCoy says
No. As long as my hair looks nice to ME, what I do to MY head is none of HIS business!
Chiamaka Obidiugwu says
Thank you very much..
Nadia Whitis says
Alisha Wallace says
If you want to. Ig you wear your wigs well and with confidence, I guarantee he will like them too.
Anita Wilfong says
A good relationship starts with honesty.
Jamila Kelly says
He’s going to find out eventually anyway if the relationship progresses. If he’s just a fling, just make sure that wig is on secure because guys like pulling hair. ✌
Nadia Whitis says
What’s to confess, just wear it and he’ll see. I don’t understand why that’s something you need to tell someone.
Beulah Tilley says
Of course, what’s the big deal? It’s a wig. Your heart is what’s important, not your hair. If he has a problem with it he’s a shallow human being that needs to be kicked to the curb. He’s attracted to your shell, not your spirit.
Cali Réz says
I did, on our first date.
Lihle Ndlela says
Celeste Jackman says
Unless he is Jesus and you are confessing your sins? No but as a courtesy or just an fyi throw it out there that you like to switch up your hair.no need to hide it
Sivon Lockhart says
I would. I do. I personally think it’s a skill to be able to transform my style so seamlessly that there’s no question whether it’s real of fake. I just describe it as one of my hobbies.
Artra Veal says
You better tell him. Least he finds out in an unsuspecting way.
Deneene Brown says
That’s your choice, I wear them for me. My boyfriend likes natural, okay fine before I go to bed I take off makeup and the wig. My hair is all natural thick and long so I have the best of both worlds. Sew Ins pull my hair out. They are not for me I love my edges.
Deneene Brown says
Oh I forgot to say and your so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!! Who would care.
Shara Slaughter says
My goodness………go ahead and confess to him you wear costume jewelry, makeup, sunglasses, fake nails, hats and scarves as well. Extensions and wigs are just accessories, they are not your identity. If he hasn’t figured that out find someone else. If you haven’t figured that out grow up.
Archalia Scott says
If he ask, why not.
Char Turner says
“Confess”?! Is it a crime? a dirty secret? Sure, tell him if you have a problem with him NOT knowing. I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of
Mailan May says
To each their own. My boyfriend is Romanian and knows I wear a wig. He also knows I plan to stop wearing one once I reach my desired length after cutting it a few months ago. I believe every relationship should be completely honest. If he understands, I believe any man of any race can understand as long as you teach them if they’re willing to learn about our hair and the struggles. Black women work hard on their hair.
ladee neenah says
Just wear your natural hair out one day and see if he says something about it. I think you should show someone all of the different facets of you, if you are interested in anything serious with them. And the sooner you do it the better in case he has an issue with it. That way you haven’t wasted too much of your time, or his.
Joycelynang Watson says
Apparently confession is good for the soul!!!
Lena Killion says
Um…yes, isn’t he going to be pulling it? Wth, if it falls off you’ll look dumb…tell him…please.
Neena Harris says
Only bald head chicks are scared to tell people it’s a wig.
Em Tang says
How does he not know ? He doesn’t touch your hair everyday ? .. thought all men did that.
Natasha Thomas says
Um yeah, he’s going to find out anyway and if he breaks up with you because you wear a wig and not care more about the person you are underneath that wig then he ain’t for you.
Rieka Rain Tree says
Oh, sweetheart, he already knows. He just won’t say anything. Just be fabulous and move on.
Charlene Beasley says
Most don’t care.
Veronica Simpson says
Yes be honest , tell him what you see is what you get don’t pretend love your self he not perfect either what’s he hiding from you he might have HIV or AIDS
Jennifer Pinckney says
Confess???? To confess means you were lying about it. Why lie? Obviously he’s not with you because of your hair. If you’re worried about what he would say or think, then you’re with the wrong man.
Elaine White says
You shouldn’t be in a relationship until your in a transparent relationship with yourself. Once you love and accept yourself, you will have relationships with people who take your lead. Rock what you want. Wig or no wig. ✊
Dee Collins says
Why are you discussing hair on the first date? He should compliment you on whatever style you are wearing, you should say thank you and talk about the venue or otheR places you’ve gone and the foods you have enjoyed or what you do at work or what he does at work. HAIR ! NO!!!!!
April Long says
Yes. If you feel the need to lie abt something so superficial, it’s not the relationship for you! My now fiance and past serious relationship were non-black. I let them know right out the get!!
Ashley Lé Chambré says
Just show up one day with drastically different hair, and be like “heyyyyy- boo”.
Bobcat Laugh says
Yes! Because you lie about little things you would lie about major things. Anyone who say looks is not everything they are lying to yourself. Looks come first then personality. Unfortunately we live in a superficial world. If he stills interested after you tell or show him that is great. But if he do not you should not get upset. Just move on.
Elaine Reed-Anderson says
Hair, like make-up is a dressing, just know when to take it off…..
Tina Waters says
If he’s so dumb that he doesn’t know that you sometimes wear a wig, you probably don’t want him to be your new man.
If you do though, you might want to “confess” that you sometimes wear a weave and acrylic/gel nails too. Oh and false lashes and makeup too.
Cynthia King says
No it’s not important if he’s interested you and not your hair.
Sandra Brooks says
If you man don’t know u wear wigs. Thats not your man