Do You Check With Your Man Before Changing Your Hair?

“You talking bout the braided pull up joint? 
If we talking about the same thing then I’m not a fan. A grown woman should only have micro braids when going on vacation to a third world country where they don’t have hairdressers or when playing Janet Jackson in Poetic Justice.” – Devon, 28 when asked if he likes braids on women.

Yeah OK!… who asked you? Oh, that’s right, we ask them, we ask them all the time! What is the first thing we say to our man when we finally leave the salon and make it home?

Honey, do you like my hair? And then we get either positive affirmation or something similar to that Devon character quoted above.

There are vastly contrasting views on the topic of men and their opinions on our hair, arguments ranging from men hating weaves and braids, some guys preferring natural hair to a relaxer, others preferring a relaxer to natural hair.

And in addition to all of that, there are the arguments specifically surrounding the topic of checking with your man before changing your hair. It is my opinion that if you are married or in a long term relationship then it is more likely that you will, in fact, check with your man before changing your hair.

I think it is ten times easier to do something drastic with our hair without soliciting the opinion of a guy we have only been on a few dates with. Chances are he will probably say he likes everything anyway to ensure he doesn’t mess things up.

There is no way to deny the fact that what grows out of your scalp is yours and you have every right to do with it as you please in a perfect world. Yet it’s not a perfect world, we value the opinions of others, especially those closest to us and we look for validation; especially if it is positive.

When things are going well and you have your red freakun’ dress on, you want your man to keep his eyes on you all night long. You don’t go out with the defeatist attitude of if he doesn’t like it everyone else will anyway. You want him to like it!

Originally posted 2013-08-18 15:00:25.

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About Petra

Hi I'm Petra Lomax , a staff writer and editor for . I am Jamaican born and raised and moved to the United States in my early 20's. I have a BA in Political Science and International relations as well as an MBA and a Masters In Project Management. I love travel, culture and anything that has to do with creative media and business.

About Petra

Hi I'm Petra Lomax , a staff writer and editor for . I am Jamaican born and raised and moved to the United States in my early 20's. I have a BA in Political Science and International relations as well as an MBA and a Masters In Project Management. I love travel, culture and anything that has to do with creative media and business.


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Shamilah Patterson

Yes but it’s not going to change my mind. I’m just getting an opinion from the person that looks at me the most.

Dy McCaskill

YUP….. always have and always will…… hubby and I are a TEAM… we make decisions as a UNIT…. 20 years and going strong!

Maybell Lena Killion

Yes, it’s a consideration thing. I’m pretty good with my style decisions and he’s never complained.

Ayo Sam Harrell

No…its my hair I wear it the way I want

Alethia Ajaye Jordan

Ummmm no

Lynda Brooks

Yup. I always ask his opinion. After all, his opinion is the only one that counts for me!

Erica Forward

YES!!! 🙂

Tranita Taylor

Nope. No. Unt uh. We are a team but some decisions don’t require teamwork. My hair is one of them. An opinion is awesome but “checking,” no mam.

Ashley Weatherspoon


Princess Meka

Yes his opinion is important and want me to look my best his opinion is really the only one that count

Angel SoBeautiful Rankin


Lisa Imunique Price

Damn like really whose hair is it?

Daicia Henville


Vonna Woods

No, smh teammates yes but I express myself in many ways and my hair is one of those ways. Plus my man loves everything I do lol no complaint’s.

Shantelle Compton

Of course! That’s who I look good for so if he doesn’t like it… mission failed

Darling Dayanna Crisanto Funez

Check with my man? Lmaooo, gurl please!!

Quisha Quisha

I do like my husband’s opinion because his is the ONLY ONE that counts! It just works because he knows how to treat a lady and tells me he loves everything

Wafiyah Davis

I ask his opinion but the final decision is mine with things like that he says whatever you like boo

Mean Carleen Shaw

Hell no, point, blank, PERIOD!

Janice Banks

No and he don’t consult me before getting an hair cut.

Beverly TruelyBlessed Conover


Velvét Miller

Yep, and he’s always supportive of my decisions.

Melissa Juanita

most of the time. when i big chopped i was worried that he wouldnt like it and then i noticed his hands always in my hair. Lol! it made me feel good about it.

Adaya Magee

Hell no! Both r my s*** hair and money!

Mary Welch

Only if I’m unsure how it will look. Otherwise I just tell him what I’m going to do.

Dorothea Herbert

He’ll no?

Monique Wilson

Not unless I’m changing to a different color then I ask him if he thinks I would look good in it…. but i never do anything crazy anyway so….

Jessica Flanigan

Never! Lol.

Shireen Balcombe-Nelson

Yep.. I sure do!

Dorothea Herbert

If you are in a real woman you should not have check which a man how to fix your hair and he should not say a word grown women grown hair

Leenayka Yulaykis Isaac

No he loves EVERYTHING I do:) he’s indian and still loves my kinky curls/braids/short hair

Michelle Nicole Charley

You should if he is your husband…. Your in this together 🙂

Jasmine Sherelle

Depends what I’m thinking about getting if it’s something drastic like a cut, color change, or something he’s never seen me in then yep

Tiffaney Siriouthay

Yes! He is partly the reason I am Natural …His exact words were ..”Why don’t you stop putting all that s*** in your hair and let it grow out” Gotta lovem lol 🙂

Ashleigh Adams

Yes-and its hard cuz he doesn’t like any fake hair, so I have to do a lot of convincing

Dishauna Kirksey

Yea and he said keep doing what makes you happy. I just got my hair cut and he was in the barber shop with me

Ravenna White Crummie

Yes sometimes I do depending on what the style is that I’m getting,,, it’s more so for he’s opinion tho

Ranina Bolton

I give him a heads up.

Tia Gayle

It’s not my rule but if it’s something drastic. Cut and maybe if I’m going to color it a dramatic color or bleach it. If I’m married or in a serious relationship respect and consideration is due. Just like if I met him wit a caesar if he wants dreads we would have to discuss it.

Crystal Wa

scoff .. pff that is my hair

Natural Tee


Selena Howard

Absolutely Not!!!!!!!!!!!

Brittney Holland

I ask my man for his input just because I care about his opinion.

Sharon Atkinson

Yes of course that’s just respect but only of its a serious relationship otherwise love it or leave it

Deanna Merritt Ross

Check with? No, but I ask his opinion and vice versa.

Darryl Ballinger

I love your Hair!!!

Camella Rose Jones

I make the final decision I do specially when it’s going to be a drastic change, or if I want to straighten or wear weave I’m natural and vowed not to I go to him to snap me back.

Yolanda Adkins

Yes…even though he trust my decisions. I still make sure he agree.

Zuwela Lozza Calitri

Yes :-0

Denise Elangya Bakolota

Heuuuuu no!!!