Listen to his side
Do not attack your man, ask the questions and listen to his perspective. Sometimes guys get lazy and they don’t open up the way you want them to, so you have to ask the right question to get him to talk. While he is talking , you listen to just get some understanding for yourself of where he is coming from.
Here is the thing, nobody is asking you to just roll over, but you have to know where his mind is to make the proper decision on your next move. Do you have common ground that you both can explore and if so that’s great, but you will never know unless you listen to him.
On the other hand you might find that what he is saying is not making any sense, and he isn’t taking your decision as seriously as you need to. At that point you have to face the reality that you might not have much to work with. This is a hard reality but reality non the less.
Be prepared for the hard accusations
I don’t understand how come when I met you, your were ok with the chemicals and scabs and all that, and not that we are married you have a problem?
Ok don’t perm it, but wear it straight then if that’s an option?
What else do you plan to just change since I do not have a say?
These are all questions that make the conversation difficult but they will come up and you need to have the answers to them. He doesn’t have to like the answers but you should be confident in your stance to show how serious you are.
Accept that they still may not waiver and make your decision anyway
Do what you feel is right for your hair as you are the one who has to live with it. Sometimes when we read posts like this we might think we will see suggestions that you need to compromise the health of your hair.
The truth is you don’t not for anyone! so even though you have suggestions on how to work through it, the premise is always if this is what you want to do, then you should do it.
The compromise comes in process not in the decision so at the end of the day if someone wants to leave you over hair then there is something lacking in the relationship that has nothing to do with hair.
We want to be attractive to our mate but we also want to make ourselves happy, know the difference and live your life so you are happy.