The other night I was on the phone with my sister. She has been transitioning for almost 5 years now- a very long time because she has been going back and forth and giving in and getting a relaxer, and then starting over.
However, now she is finally ready to just bite the bullet and chop off the remainder of her relaxed ends. When she called me, she was hysterical! She said she and her husband got into a huge argument because he doesn’t want her to chop off her hair, and said that if she did, she wouldn’t be as attractive as she is now, and it wouldn’t be fair.
Now let me be clear, I am not married so I really found it hard to pick sides. I mean, on one hand I can understand where my sister is coming from, and that her hair is a part of her body, so it should be her choice how she styles it.
However, her husband had a point too. His argument was that he met her with long hair, not a short afro, so he thinks she should continue to transition and not big chop.
I hate getting in the middle of things, so I did the best I could to try to calm my sister down. I later then posed the topic to my group of natural girlfriends.
One of the women in the group is married, and went natural after she said ‘I Do.’ She agreed with my brother-in-law’s stance, on that my sister should take his opinion into consideration.
She told me that she and her husband had an open discussion about it, and they both agreed that she should transition versus just big chopping.
She then said to imagine if the tables were turned. What if the guy wanted to do something that would drastically change his physical appearance, even if it was temporary.
That made perfect sense to me… but when I later went and told my sister, she didn’t agree. She argued that it’s different. As of now, my sister is still transitioning and hasn’t gone ahead with the big chop, even though she does have a hair appointment scheduled for next weekend. I really hope this decision doesn’t cause wedge my sister’s marriage.
Has this ever happened to any of you, how did you handle it?