I am not one to gossip but I do have a funny story I would like to share. Maybe it isn’t ‘ha ha’ funny but it is one of those things that can make you smile on the inside and give the person total side eye on the outside.
So I have a friend who was planning to get married to a white guy and you know in every relationship there might be some things that you just do not ‘get’ about each other? In their relationship the thing that he did not ‘get’ was her hair care practices.
Now I understand that especially in an interracial relationship because there might be things black girls might do with their hair that white guys might just have to get used to because they did not have to deal with it growing up.
My friend liked to use Sulfur* 8 in her hair and that does not exactly smell like strawberries or roses so her hair left much to be desired where smell was concerned.
Coupled with that she had a less than what we would consider, regular wash regimen. Now for any guy that truly loves you they probably will want to compromise and they might accept certain things even though they do not understand it.
In his case he just could not understand why she did not wash her hair daily like his sister and why her hair had to smell the way it did.
For him what was normal, was getting in the shower and washing your hair daily and repeat that regimen everyday for the rest of your ‘normal’ life.
Here is the thing, when I heard the story my first thought was how can I get a message to this guy? He has to know that my friend’s habit was not the norm for all black girls.
Some of us actually do ‘wash’ daily and our hair can smell like, honey*, cake, juices and berries at any given time, smelling like a steel manufacturer was entirely her choice.
You might wonder what the point of this whole story is and who puts their friend on blast about having stinky hair?
Well let me tell you, for one the story was funny and we are all friends here, two she has since changed her products and wash habits so that helps and three I do want to bring to your attention that the way your hair smells can be a great indicator that you need to wash it, or care for it in some manner. It is never acceptable or something to compromise when it comes to hygiene.
The way we think about natural hair nowadays is much different from 10-15 years ago, some of us actually do ‘wash’ our hair daily, maybe not with shampoo but we get our hair wet none the less.
Things are different for Caucasians too; they too are not shampooing as often, opting for co washing, water only washing or just cleansing with natural products like ACV or lemon juice.
The way we care for our hair as human beings is different so with that said what does having smelly hair mean?