Last week I stayed late at work to catch up on a few things. As I was leaving, I ran into the security guard, who typically waits until the last employee leaves, before she leaves.
So, as I was heading out she stopped me for a little girl chat. The chat then turned to her asking questions about the crochet havanna twist style that I was wearing.
She asked the typical questions, like “are they heavy”, and then complimented them and said how she really liked them, but doesn’t think she could ever wear them herself.
Then, she asked me why don’t I just wear my natural hair, because she’s seen it, and said that it’s so beautiful. By now, I was used to that question, because my family asks me that basically every time I see them. But, when she asked me, it made me a little annoyed.
It was as if she was asking me why do I hate my natural hair. As if choosing to wear a protective style means you don’t like your natural hair, which is the furthest thing from the truth!
I love my natural hair! For me, wearing protective styles is what got me over the hump of not giving up being natural after I got the big chop, and once my hair finally got to a length I liked, protective styles then became the way I… protected my hair.
Protective styling keeps my ends tucked away and also require little minimal daily upkeep while helping my strands stay moisturized. It also, promotes hair growth! So, by definition of protective styling alone, I love my hair. I want to protect it from daily pulling and yanking, that could cause shedding and breakage.
I think each person should do what they think is best for their hair, and during the frigid fall and winter months in NYC, protective styling is the best option for my hair. I do not hate my natural hair, I just want to protect it and I will continue to use protective styling to do so!
I think we all should do what we want to do to make her hair
I bun my hair throughout the week to protect my hair because I love it and I want to keep it and grow it. Not hide it.
Exactly- I wear protective styles because I love my hair!!!!
Some people don’t understand, and really don’t want too. Just wasting time asking unclear thoughtless questions. Ugh!!!!!
Hint the name “Protective” I protect what I love AKA my natural hair!
If ur hair is in weave 90% of the time that ain’t loving ur hair. I’m in protective styles about 80% of the time, most of which don’t involve weave.
I agree!!
Good for you.
I wear a lot of braids and twists throughout the year. Probably 90% of the time. But i loooove my natural hair. However it keeps my hair healthy and between being a college student and working fulltime, spending the amount of time it takes to do my very thick is realistic. So yeah, you can live your natural hair and keep it under for the majority
I disagree. I’m busy and I am not always playing in my head. The most I do to my head is on my wash day which is only once a month. If ur weaving ur hair 90% of the time I can’t even see how you’d know ur hair to love it.
Yaaaassssssss ?????????? preach! People act like if I get box braids, or wear a sew in every once in a while, that I don’t like my hair……like no, it’s because I love my hair and want to keep it healthy when I notice I begin manipulating it too much. That’s when I say it’s time to give my hair a break, so I put it in a protective style.
I remember when I was as ignorant as the security guard (when I think back, I feel so humbled because I lacked so much understanding / comprehension). I’m so grateful for websites like this one and youtube to help me become more educated as I continue my healthy hair journey. I probably irritated other ladies in the same fashion, but not anymore – what a relief! There’s nothing like the feeling that you’ve pissed someone off with your ignorance. I hope I’ll have the patience and not become too annoyed when someone asks me all of the why’s regarding my hair. Growing from that ignorance took me a while, baby steps! What a journey!
Why do relaxed ladies have to explain to naturals, why do naturals with weaves, have to explain to other naturals..why is every sistah wearing anything but a natural twust out accused of self hate..
I’m just too lazy to mess with hair.
I protective style majority of the time and I love my hair. I’m going to stop protective styling next week because I have been protective styling for a long time and I really miss my hair. I love myself. Wearing my hair in braids doesn’t mean I hate myself. I don’t add extensions I just braid my own natural hair and pin it up but even if get asked by my family and friends why do I keep it braided all the time? Like they so oh your hair is pretty why do you keep it braided? Even my hair stylist asked me that. If I want to keep it braided then I can . I wanted to protect my hair as well as grow it out . Now I have reached my hair goal but even when I take my Braids down I still will wear my hair in a puff or a bun.
sometimes it is just ignorance, did you explain that you are protecting it? I do. I explain that the weather is too dry for black afro hair and it can take long to grow but if you protect it from the weather it does better and whilst I am protecting I might as well have fun… everytime I watch the curios pity look turn to envy followed by the “I cant do that with my hair, you are so lucky…” statement and then it goes into a discussion of things they could do etc…
I think ppl are too extra. The woman never said or even implied that she thought the author “hated” her hair. She needs to get out of her feelings.
It seems as if the woman was simply saying, “you have beautiful hair and you should wear it out because it looks nice”. If it annoys you to talk about your hair with ppl you probably should avoid those conversations.
Is that really what she was asking when she asked that question? Maybe she was just curious. From what you’re saying, you were both having a Q&A about the style you were wearing. Maybe she felt comfortable enough to ask you another question and compliment your “beautiful” hair at the same time. Did you ask her what she meant by her question or did you just assume that there was more behind that question? If you don’t get annoyed when your family asks you “basically every time”, why get annoyed when the security guard asked?