The assault on black women did not stop there, just two years ago the ever popular and just as controversial Nikki Minaj had to jump on the black negativity train with these lyrics from her song, “Stupid Ho”
Them nappy headed hoes but my kitchen good.
Not her first ugly assault on black women and their hair. On her first album in her song “Did It On ‘Em”, she said:
These little nappy headed hoes need a perminator.
Now the ONLY funny part about her words is that she was all dolled up in those ridiculous wigs* and makeup and now has been proudly taking selfies with her natural hair. Straight, but natural with no qualms about the hypocracy of it all.
Nonetheless, this ugliness that seems to roll of people tongues effortlessly from any race is always directed at us and our hair. It’s disheartening, sometimes not surprising but always hurtful. What’s even more hurtful when it comes from a person just like you and me.
Stop the bullying. It seems easy enough right? Fight fair or better yet, don’t fight at all! The fact that we even have to tell adults this tidbit is sad and then we have the nerve to wonder why children are being bullied on the playground and online.
We are doing it! We are doing the very thing we tell our children not to do because calling another human being a nappy headed ho is bullying! Although it stings even more from another black woman it still symbolizes our natural tendency to bully instead of discuss our differences or better yet, be the bigger person and walk away from the fight.
I”m all over the place and I”m sorry. It’s my natural tendency to see all the connections to one problem and how it affects more than the person going through it. This is a scar on our psyche that needs to heal but as we pick at the scab it shows we are in need of some serious de-brainwashing as black women.
It is not cute to call another black woman out of her name and to attack her hair.
It is not even a little bit cute to think it’s funny and it’s downright damaging to think it’s not all that serious.
As women…as black women… as natural black women we need to take an oath of some kind affirming to keep our fights fair and to not call another woman a name or a term that we ourselves find demeaning.
We don’t have to be a bully just because the world finds bullying entertaining. We have a long history of being attacked for our physical features and when we begin to use those same hurtful words to one another we begin to internalize those words into actions, beliefs and truths.
I’m sorry but being a nappy headed ho is not my truth so stop the bullying and start nurturing yourself, your natural sisters and your hair. It is truly as easy as that.