I was becoming obsessed and a product junkie to the point that was getting out of hand. My results after using multiple products left me with hard and crunchy hair. I was using products that claimed to give you the best curls, but were not the best for MY hair. It wasn’t responding well, so I soon opted for a protective style out of sheer annoyance.
I had what Oprah likes to call the “ah-ha!” moment, when I left the house one afternoon after I applied all of my alleged “magic potions” to my hair. As I was walking to the library, I caught a glimpse of myself in a store front window.
I didn’t like what I could see; my hair was just a mess. It was dry, dull, and had no life. I knew then that I needed to stop focusing on chasing perfect curls, and start focusing on my hair’s health. What is the point in having a curl or two if the overall health of your hair is subpar?
Over the next few years I learned a lot about natural hair, and how to take care of my natural locks. Instead of obsessing over Wash and Go’s, I adopted the twist out.
I made a list of all the things that were wrong with my usual styling methods and products, and searched for a resolution. My hair needed moisturizing styling products, frequent washings, and less combing. I had to give my hair the love that it needed. My curls would never hang a certain way or lay down. I had springy cork screw curls that were just as beautiful as big ringlets. I needed to embrace that, and nurture the curls that I was given, instead of trying to force them to do something else.
My hair will never be super shiny, or grow down and rest on my back. Instead, I will always have to keep my very dry hair moisturized, and understand that my Afro hair grows out and not down. I will always have springy kinky* curls and thick roots.
I may never be able to wear a Wash and Go every day, or not break the comb attachment on a blow dryer*. As long as my hair is healthy, all of those things are just fine with me. Like you, I’ve had to learn to love my texture, and everything that comes with it. Natural hair is a journey, and is still a journey for the veterans. It’s something that takes time, and I’m still learning.
queenbee9 says
Hiair WILL grow down and rest on your back if it grows longer–Type 4 hair is just as much subject to gravity as everyone else’s. It takes time and due to the genetic hair structure, it may stick OUT then grow down but that is okay too.
Many people even after years of being natural do not understand or know their hair type–many use the wrong products which prevent them from ever experiencing their true hair type or texture. If you use certain products, coils can elongate and lengthen or if you prefer they can get tighter. If you use certain techniques, hair will remain dull or kinked or have a lot of single strand knots.
What is important are:
1. Type of water you use to wash your hair in. Water like hair is made up of chemicals–your hair will REACT to the type of water you use because the type of water (chlorinated, hard, soft, acidic) will affect your hair structure and infrastructure. ( I have a long post about this on Kinkycurlycoilyme under the High Shrinkage Club)
2. Product types AND the order in which products are used–what is in a product MATTERS and what you pair that product with MATTERS as both can REACT on your Hair and Scalp.
Natural does not stop a product from being made up of Chemicals–EVERYTHING that exists from air to squash or coconut is made up of Chemicals and Chemicals react unless they are inert.
3.Manipulation–we all know about finger detangling and shingling and how to wash the hair in the shower–or do we? We often do too much with impatience and do not take the time to either know or understand the importance of LCO or LOCO or GHE or even how to wash or prepoo.
4. How we do what we do makes a difference in how our coils look. The more moisture the looser the coil. The more moisture RETENTION, the looser the coil.
Moisture saboteurs (things that can hurt your hair moisture quotient) are:
1. color–like being a blonde or red head or that deep purple–odds are the DAMAGE that is inevitable from permanently coloring darker hair to lighter shades will hinder moisture retention and hair health.
2. Using oils as moisturizers–some people SWEAR by shea butter. I love it to. In its place–which is NEVER right after washing on water only hair. Shea butter has molecules that block up the cracks in hair cuticle–it can hold water in (for a good minute) but it can stop additional moisture from getting in too) you want a product between shea butter or any heavy oil and the water on your hair–something that can continually leak out a bit of water to your strands
3. Using conditioners as moisturizers–many conditioners are NOT moisturizers– instead they soften hair and help to detangle and fill in shallow depressions or cracks in the hair cortex
4. overuse of protein or reconstructor treatments–these are temporary fixes that last a few weeks. If you do not have color in your hair–use less and use less often (about every 6 weeks) if you have color and therefore more damage use about every 2 to 4 weeks.
The thing about protein that is added to hair is that it is not the same as your natural protein–it does not breathe well–this means once applied it does temporarily repair holes or cracks in the hair shaft but it also BLOCKS moisture–this helps to hold moisture in the hair BUT also prevents moisturizers and water from getting back into the hair. Think of protein as plastic wrap for the hair–if you wrap too tight or too often or too much–no moisture can get in–if you are relaxed with low porosity hair–chances are high too much protein is being used as relaxed hair is damaged and is rarely low porosity naturally.
Low porosity hair cannot absorb moisture easily–it has to be opened up.
5. SHINE–shine is the result of light bouncing off CLOSED and INTACT and HEALTHY cuticles. I have taken many a dull head and over time we got that 4c or 4b hair to SHINE like crazy–we did not have to fake it with oil or silicone (which is what is used on relaxed hair to bring back a semblance of shine) we simply closed the cuticle, used a natural ceramide on the scalp and hair and ensured the hair was conditiioned before applying the ceramide–then we CLOSED the cuticle with ICE COLD WATER that had a bit of ACV in it for pH balance.
I am hearing a lot of women talk about an acceptance of their hair as is–but what they are accepting is NOT their natural hair in optimal condition. Instead they are accepting what their natural hair looks like or the results of their regimen which may not be optimal for their hair.
mlank64 says
“Hiair WILL grow down and rest on your back if it grows longer–Type 4 hair is just as much subject to gravity as everyone else’s. It takes time and due to the genetic hair structure, it may stick OUT then grow down but that is okay too – See more at: https://blackhairinformation.com/general-articles/opinion/dealt-hair-texture-disappoinment/2/#sthash.3V8COLIF.dpuf”
Yes, took the words right out of my mouth. I agree that type 4 hair initially grows out the first few years depending on the rate of growth. In general when we hit year 4 5 and 6 assuming you haven’t cut your hair, it will start to grow down as QeenBee9 stated. When you focus on the health of your hair and let it do its thing without forcing your hair to be something its not, it will grow to tremendous lengths- down your back. The wonderful thing about type 4 hair in my opinion is not only do we eventually get the length with proper care, but we maintain the volume and fullness unlike type 1 or 2 maybe even 3 hair depending on an individual’s genetic density and strand thickness. I’m so glad to see this article because it was honest and alot of us can identify with this issue. I know I went through the same exact thing during my hair journey. Great article!
Marcia Johnson says
Really. Accept how God made you. I’m so tired of us not not being ABSOLUTE on our God given beauty…..WAKE UP!!
Marcia Johnson says
Ok…you got to my point….love the hair you are blessed with. Thank you!!
Ange De Notre Dame says
Had to laugh .., that was my exact experience but with the right natural products, protective styling and my satin bonnet at nights, I now enjoying my lovely curls