I vaguely remember when I was starting my healthy hair journey reading over testimonies of women who dumped their boyfriends because they weren’t being supportive of their decision to go natural.
I was applauding like “all of the power to you girl!” and I wrote it off but just this last weekend my boyfriend and I were cuddled up watching The Walking Dead on Netflix and he twirled one my braids with the comment:
“I really like these, I thought it’d be weird since I haven’t seen you wear them since middle school”
Now there was no side eye to it or anything I just took it as a compliment but then he continued:
“You do so much to your hair, I honestly don’t get it…”
It connected there, guys really don’t get it, they don’t understand why we spend hours doing our makeup when we could be sleeping nor do they understand the time and money we invest into our hair.
Now ladies I’ve never had a long term boyfriend so I’ve never had to consider someone else’s feelings when it came to my hair or style of dress. Lets switch roles and think about it, you’ve been with a guy who wears his hair in dreads for lets say two years and he up and decides to cut them off without so much of a fleeting thought as to tell you. It would upset you right?
It wouldn’t be because he didn’t seek your permission, it’s because you weren’t involved in such a big thing. That’s exactly how your husbands and boo thangs feel.
Its even bigger because with women “big chopping” its not just cutting hair, it comes the flinging around of new terminology and products and night time rituals, it can be downright overwhelming for some guys.
So ladies before cutting your man off or fighting him back when he gets upset about your new status as a natural girl, try sitting him down and explaining what your thought process is, how you feel, and what’s going on, you’d be surprised how much of that hostility is really just poorly expressed confusion. If you don’t believe me, go on and watch this video from a man’s perspective.