We covet our favorite Natural hair superstars; we can’t help it. They have gorgeous tresses and they help guide us through our insecurities about our hair, styles and products and we love them for it.
It’s OK to do so and they may even help in your natural hair journey, but there are some naturals that take this ‘love’ a little too far. There is nothing wrong with liking someone’s hair but actually wanting their hair is never a good thing and even though we jokingly say #haircrush #hairidol it can get serious and actually harm your journey.
There will be pitfalls and failures and often just watching a video of a Youtuber perfecting what you could not do can be uplifting but not always. Not always because if you are investing too much into someone else’s hair, how can you possibly be investing enough time and energy into your own?
There is a fine line between admiring and coveting what others have. Jealousy is a bad reality we have in the natural hair community. Jealousy of hair type, texture and length are rampant although many would like to ignore it.
I am almost certain I will get commentators clowning me saying I speak no truth but it won’t change the reality what I notice among naturals. I STILL hear “I wish I had your curls” or “I wish I had your hair or texture” so instead of just TELLING you not to compare your tresses to others I am going to give you 5 reasons why it is not even necessary. Here goes:
Counter-productive
This is first because it is probably the most compelling. Worrying about what is growing out of another head is not going to make your tresses look any more fierce than it already does.
Sometimes an infatuation with another natural’s tresses can become a negative place for you. The main goal for all naturals should be healthy hair that can also bring longer tresses that are strong and luscious.
That comes with patience, hard work and a better understanding of your hair. Often we get caught up in what it looks like right now instead of what it will look like after I get it back healthy.
This is why hiding your tresses under wigs* and weaves is not healthy if done all the time. You need time and practice working on your own tresses and they need a break from the glue, wig caps* and tight applications.
Your hair will be just as gorgeous as your hair crush even if it does not look the same right now. The point is real work goes into getting there so wasteing time wishing it looked like someone else’s is not helping you.
Great hair
I have very thin , fine hair. Yes, I look at others and wish my hair was maybe fuller or even longer. My hair grows long but I make it look as full as MY hair can look. Yes, there is a thin line with the idolizing. I know MY hair can only do what MY hair is going to do and I make MY hair look & be the healthiest it can be. I also use products that work on my hair. Everybody is different. Guess I’m saying that o agree with you to a certain extent. DO YOU & BE YOU.
Henna treatment will make your hair appear thicker
Thank you Tracey because I was considering trying the L’oreal volume filler.
Thanks for sharing!
Follow naila1908. She has fine hair and vlogs on YouTube
I’m on it!! Thx Renata … It’s hard finding people with the same hair as mines to see if I can use some of their pointers.
Good reasons to focus on your own hair. I actually cut mine off in order to do a natural hair journey but then I liked it in this baber shop cut close look. Does this count as natural? Just curious.
Yes it does.
Absolutely!
Yes it does. ..
Ok thank you. Lol. Its not that I don’t like to grow my natural hair …its that I am a fitness instructor and even natural my hair (which is one great thing about black hair) is that it is soook thick and when I sweat and I wash it in it’s natural state..its can day 2 days to dry unless I use heat….thank you for the clarification. I like to keep it short …like this. It has always been my favorite style I feel freedom..and cos I feel free I feel my most attractive cos I’m happy lol.
And I still use olive oil shampoo with no lather and leave in conditioner with morocan oil to keep the tiny bit of hair that I do have and my scalp healthy…. 🙂
I wish someone told me this years ago, when i cut all mines off. The women on youtube hair was beautiful but mines made me look like a damn chicken head. Then i relize thats just not my journey, though i still admire natural hairr.
I dont do that. PEople need to learn what suits them cuz not because she has the same hair type doesn’t mean the regimen works for them.
True
The hair that is meant for you, shall be yours
It’s truly that simple
Different products also work differently for every head of hair.
Be kind to your hair and be patient, and your hair will grow as it chooses.
*pats fro*
Awesome!
You can take care and focus on your own hair and it can look just as good as any YouTube guru…..ijs
I do love these pics. Even though it may take a lot of work and patience…look at what our hair can do! And even short like mine it can look so sheen on all of us…I think it is great 🙂 I think we should look at it as our hair grows creatively…black hair is the only hair that has a million types of curls…isn’t that exciting?
Once I became confident in myself in my early 20s. Cuz let’s face it we all have and or still have insecurities and comparing ourselves to one another. But one thing my father taught me is to enjoy what is placed in my own bowl and that’s what I live by. These gurus give me ideas and tricks or even teach me something new, which I’m always up to learning. However under no circumstances do I compare myself to them or anyone. Whatever journey I’m on whether it’s hair, spiritual, or professional is mine and mine alone
It’s just not that serious. I’d like to have my daughter’s hair. I tell her all the time especially when it looks good. I don’t have her hair I have my own and I’m good. I really don’t think anyone goes to bed at night thinking about some vlogers hair.
I love my tight coily curls and as long as it’s healthy, I’m ok with that. Everyone hair is unique and beautiful no matter what the texture is.
I do have fav curlies, but I don’t build a shine to them lol no ma’am. I look at vlogs for styling options and make them mine (whether natural or extensions) and I go to blogs/websites to read beneficial hair info and find hair recipes and make them mine. Great article!
I follow natural85 to learn about natural diy treatments but that is it, not idolize her hair, we both have the same hair texture but oils works for her hair but not for mine.
Hi
Hands up, I used to have hair envy & hated my own hair, thats why I turned to relaxers and extensions and basically abused my hair for most of its life. Since doing the MHM regime, all that has changed – I have begun my ‘New Hair Affair’ – I love my hair.
Before I used to wish it was thicker, longer and had better curl definition, now I am just grateful to have hair. I had started to lose my hairline and had some balding in parts, now through MHM I have learnt how to better care for my hair and have started helping others too with their hair issues.
My hair is still thin and not long but I don’t mind as it means I don’t need to use a lot of product. My curls are now defined and my hairline is growing back, so I am very grateful for small mercies :).
Hair envy is rampant in the Black Community, wether we are Natural or Un-natural but I believe that through education we can learn to love what we were born with. 🙂