Do I Need To Style My Hair Conservatively For Church?

Do I Need To Style My Hair Conservatively For Church

Woman with the broad rim hat whispers: Girl you see what she got on and oh that hair, you think she would do something with it when she enters the house of the Lord.

Woman sitting next to her with an equally large hat whispers back: Girl I know, I don’t know why these young people think they can come up in here just looking any kinda way. They call that style a twist out or some nonsense, she need a comb and a brush and some good old grease. Let us pray for her!

Both women clasp hands and bow their heads in prayer for the poor girl with the twist out.

Ooh chruch folk, gotta love em right? Now that exchange was not meant to offend, it is just good humor but we have all been there. We might get a side eye for our choice in hair style as we walk daintily down the isle between the pews, we might even notice someone else getting it and shake our head hoping she just hurries up and sits down. The question is should we choose conservative styles for church?

Believe it or not this is not just a church problem. There are women in many workplaces getting those same dirty looks whether from black women or of other races because despite the explosion of the natural hair movement, not everyone is smitten with ‘the new’ styles nor accepting of them.

The reality is that as free as the fashion world might be, there are extremely close-minded individuals who don’t live according to the trends or what’s hot, they live in a colorless bubble and if that’s not bad enough they want you to live in it too.

To answer my own question above, I would say a resounding ‘no’ but that’s me, I enjoy my right to privacy, pursuit of happiness, and hairstyle should always be my own decision despite what anyone else might think.

For other women though, they might decide, ehh why rock the boat while others feel there are other more important things to fight over. Wherever you fall, the decision must be yours on how to approach the problem of not fitting into a conservative atmosphere.

Now do not think that I am a prude I know there is a time and place for everything, and while I might not wear my roller set to the beach, I might prefer a conservative style for church it just depends. The thing is, our natural tresses are so versatile we can in fact create some amazing conservative hairstyles that will almost everyone happy.

With that said, if you are looking for a more conservative look for church here are a few tutorials that we think can really help:

Defined Curls TWA Pixie Hairstyle on Natural Hair

Carmen from My Natural Sistas has got a great style for naturals in the TWA stage. Some women feel TWAs are limited but they are only as limited as you make them. The magic is in the method and all that’s needed is a water bottle, gel, a comb for parting and your denman brush.

This curly style (whether natural or created) is lovely and looks like old Hollywood glam that will be great for church, work and even an evening out.  Conservative and classy and still very trendy.

Originally posted 2014-06-01 15:00:31.

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About Sabrina Perkins

Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at

About Sabrina Perkins

Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at


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  1. Maria Parham
    Maria Parham

    I don’t think so, but I suggest sitting in the back if your hair is big or tone it down. People behind you probably want to see the service and not just hear it!

  2. Maybell Lena Killion
    Maybell Lena Killion

    That’s really up to the individual, no church gets to decide that and that’s not what church should be about. That’s really what’s wrong with “the church” today, it’s a fashion show and the people need JESUS!

    1. NubianPrize

      You hit the nail on the head, Miriam !!! Look at it this way : you’re in the house of GOD, worrying about some nosy old biddies hating on the hair given to you by GOD when their main concern should be THE WORD of GOD. As for the big hair getting in the way, I saw lots of HUGE afros in the 70s with no complaints. Key phrases in this article “Woman with the broad rim hat” and
      “Woman sitting next to her with an equally large hat whispers back” . Ever sit behind women with humongous flying saucer church hats? I did just last week ! Why not talk to them about blocking the vision of the people behind them or paying more attention to their hats than THE WORD? Are you REALLY that insecure that you care what they say? God must’ve loved our hair, He sure created a lot of it ! Obama said it best when he responded to Sterling’s racist comments, “When ignorant folks want to advertise their ignorance, you don’t really have to do anything, you just let them talk.”

  3. Tammie Faulkner Taylor
    Tammie Faulkner Taylor

    I would hope a person adjusts their clothing and hair style based upon the atmosphere of the venue they are attending. Not because they have to, but simply out of respect.
    Whether it’s work, church, the movies, etc., it’s simply a respectful and mature thing to do, especially if it impedes someone’s view or in some way affects their experience.
    Anything else would be selfish.

    1. felicia

      I think to go to church, your hair should be clean. I have seen a lot of decent and in order natural styles. Prior to the advent of the permanent (lye relaxer) we wore our hair natural. (Yes I mean the previous century). Many of us do not wear our hair large because we do not have that much. None of the church ladies will be giving up their big hat. You just have to sit somewhere else to see around them. I have worn some wigs recently to church. I wear braided styles as well. Anyone can wear their hair constrained if they want to. A twist out is pretty. I have seen some ladies wearing lovely twist outs at the post office. Many people object to natural styles because they want us to conform to the straight Caucasian style look. If our hair is not naturally straight, then we should not have to wear it like that of another culture to make someone else happy.

  4. Tammie Faulkner Taylor
    Tammie Faulkner Taylor

    God may not care if I wore the dress in my pic to church or to work or to my daughter’s school. Doesn’t mean I’m going to.
    Just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean SHOULD.
    Hair, makeup, clothes, jewelry…I tone it ALL down for church. .Not because I have to or because “God cares”, or because Im worried about others, but because I WANT to.
    If someone else doesn’t want to, that’s their choice.

    1. Davian Cheree
      Davian Cheree'

      yea, but if folk would focus more on self, and less on critiquing what others folks have going on……..#getyolife

  5. Jokoya McLean
    Jokoya McLean

    That’s the problem with majority black churches now a days. Members are more into what each other wear and judging others for what they wear than actually being there for the word of God. That’s why the church I attend now has over 50 different nationalities and cultures they don’t care or judge me or anyone based on how I look. I’m a Christian and proud and God does not care about my appearance. He doesn’t care if a person is a dressed up from head to toe or a beggar off the street. He sees our hearts. God knows my heart and thats all I care about. God sees past all that. Holier than thou folk who want to condemn and judge others based solely on appearance, lifestyle or a persons choices bother me. Personal preference shouldn’t have anything to do with church. It’s MY hair. I’m there for the word of god not to dress to your or anyone elses liking or approval. If someone goes to a church and you catch yourself more worried about what others think then it may not be the best church for you. Im free and Im going to be me. He loves us regardless of our imperfections and wants us to come as we are to him with a open mind and open heart. There is no dress code. The church is just a building. WE are the actual church. When you become saved you ask God into your heart, if someone has to go to church just to find their religion then they have it all wrong and you need to reflect on your relationship with God. One thing I learned in order to live a happy life is to focus less on what others think of me and more on what I think of myself and my own happiness. To follow God’s commandments and live the best I can, make make a difference in the world by giving back, helping others and by soresding the gospel and his teachings. I can get the word on my own by picking up a bible in my own home. If I came dressed like a homeless person off the streeet or a millionaire it wouldnt matter to me because the God I love and serve looks would love me all the same. It’s a studied fact majority of people who aren’t religious based alot of it on the church and the people within. The nicest people I’ve ever met are covrred in tattoos, piercings, and dress differently and the most judgmental go to church ever Sunday.

    1. NubianPrize

      AMEN ! As an elementary teacher in inner city areas I frequently talked to single moms & families dealing with life’s problems. Often I’d recommend they find a good church with an outreach program. Too many times I’d hear some of them say ” I can’t go to church because I don’t have good enough clothes for church” or some such statement.. I would tell them that God looks at your HEART not your clothes & if people at a church give you the side eye because your clothes aren’t up to snuff, THEN FIND ANOTHER CHURCH, because those folks aren’t real Christians !

    2. Leah McLean

      AMEN! You are 100% right. We go to church to worship and fellowship. The Bible man cares about the outward appearance but God cares about the heart. We should be worried about souls and our relationship with The Lord, Jesus Christ. Not what someone is wearing or how they’re dressed. Let us be about our Father’s business.

  6. Sabrina Richmond Perkins
    Sabrina Richmond Perkins

    It’s an old school mentality as well. I remember growing up that what you wore to church was just as important as going so I’m hoping that mindset is dying out.

  7. Maybell Lena Killion
    Maybell Lena Killion

    It’s not! You just need to have better hair and nails and they need to match your hat and suit! A show for every one at offering if you have to walk around the table!

    1. Jessica Hollis

      Where does the scripture say as you are?

  8. Amber Carson
    Amber Carson

    I feel like it shouldn’t be overly distracting you are there for the word same goes with how you dress for church.

  9. LaurenG

    Amen girl! I wish more people believed as you do.

  10. Angela Macklin
    Angela Macklin

    I would for church but whatever is comfortable for u. God deserves our best and because we are children of the King we to preset our best to him.

  11. Adrienne Jones
    Adrienne Jones

    “COME AS YOU ARE” It ain’t church actually, It is Jesus…style it for Him. Why worry abt church?

  12. zeelichndna

    Wow… That wasn’t an interesting topic. I’m really not silly enough to be living according to trends or “what’s hot”, but I’m really not the kind of girl to judge people on what they should be wearing or doing with their hair either. I feel sorry for those two women you talked about, but I also feel sorry about the part saying that not living up to stupid trendy stuff is living in a “colorless bubble” when I’m absolutly sure the exact opposite is true.
    Just be yourself. Who cares about how people want to do their hair for church and what the “trend” is about ? 🙂

  13. Jessica Hollis

    Yes 1Timothy 2:9-10speaks on modesty and even when you study proverbs 31it describe a woman attributes of the personality God cares about everything with us what’s on the outside speaks about what’s on the inside

  14. Christine Hamilton
    Christine Hamilton

    I find other black women to be most critical especially in the work place where they make a special effort to ‘dumb down’ are they really are. It’s a shame they have committed so much energy just to fit in rather than being the best at their job.

  15. Shevel Thomas
    Shevel Thomas

    To me yes. Yes God does accept us as we are but at the same time try to make your self look professional like u r going somewhere. An afro isn’t suitable in all occasions in my opinion

  16. Eleanor Moodie
    Eleanor Moodie

    No. But i dont think hair should be so out there that it becomes a distraction from worship… but i think the same should apply to church hats and slim fit mens trousers lol

  17. Samantha Burgher
    Samantha Burgher

    Am not hating on on anyone that wants to wear a weave but how is that more acceptable than something god gave you ? Show off your afro or coils or how ever in all its glory.

  18. Harriet Rich

    Lol i don’t know still. Big hats or big hair? Technically you are there to hear the word not see the word. Depends on your church. Your body is a temple also big hair and praise anywhere don’t care

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