Yesterday I received an unexpected mid-day phone call from my big sister. I immediately knew something was up because she never calls me in the middle of a workday. When I stepped out to take the call, she told me how she just needed to vent because a co-worker came for her natural hair.
I’m two years into my natural journey and because of the great progress and health of my hair my sister had decided to take on the journey to natural as well. Instead of big chopping, she made the decision to transition and I’m so proud of her. As a way to manage the two textures, she is rocking perm rod sets and flat twist outs.
When she wore her hair curly to work, this one co-worker gave her uninvited opinion on how natural hair isn’t for my sister and she should wear her hair straight. Apparently she has made multiple comments even though my sister says that she will do whatever she wishes with her hair.
She reached out to me because of the huge amount of opposition, specifically from family members, I’ve dealt with throughout my entire natural journey. Just last week I was at my grandmothers where she told me she liked my hair better in my protective jumbo twist style!
The advice I offered her was to get some tough skin and continue to transition while wearing it proudly. Everyone is going to have an “opinion” of what you do, but what others “think” of your decision to go natural is none of your business.
Although I’ve never had anyone other than my family tell me that they dislike my natural hair, I can only imagine the annoyance of it coming from a coworker who I’m not even close with, as in my sister’s case. But I’m glad I could be there for her and my words of encouragement helped her move forward.
Have you ever gotten negative comments from a coworker on your hair?
the nerve of people. The advice she gave her sister is spot on.
You are so right; tough skin is mandatory. But I am all in favor of not letting ignorance go unchecked. I would like to think that if I were in your sister’s shoes, I would remain calm and ask that individual if they had ever heard Albert Einstein’s quote on insanity.
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Everyday , a little more wooly textured hair grows out of my scalp; why should I do something over and over again to my hair and be expected to be viewed by others or see something different when I look in the mirror. Why should I spend a car note worth of money on weave or put cancer causing chemicals in my hair over and over again and expect people to see me as something the opposite of what I truly am? I’m still a black women, even if my hair looks like its from another continent. And any behavior that refuses to acknowledge that fact and attempts to present myself as anything else is a little insane.
But hey, maybe that coworker’s thoughts don’t run that deep or time doesn’t allow. One of my personal favorites is any spin on Jesus’ hair: if hair like wool was good enough for him, it’s good enough for me; skin like copper, hair like wool…I’m in good company. And there’s always the timeless, “That’s funny because I love it, and my man loves playing in my hair”.
After ten years in the game with a momma who was psychologically and emotionally traumatized by the first perms who also gave birth to a daughter with hair like Cassie; I could literally go on for days. If I feel myself getting angry, I have to let my bigger person shine and let some comments slide; but not without preparing my ammo for the next time the same nerve is struck. Sometimes its best to agree to disagree, but if we don’t address it within our community this hair/skin BS will never get any better. Frustration can grow into education. At the very least, plant a seed (hopefully the individual and question will seek their own knowledge, if not ) someone else can come along and water. Thank you for sharing!
Peace
SMH Honey, I wish a coworker would come at me in a negative manner over anything I decide to do with and or for myself. They know better and know I’d rip them a new one in the nicest way for ever trying me. I haven’t had any issues with family either but if I did, I don’t discriminate, I’d give them a verbal thrashing they would never forget. In all truthfulness, I’ve had nothing but positive feedback because my hair in it’s natural state is so much more beautiful, healthy, versatile, and resilient so people want to know what I use to be able to switch it up? I tell everyone to never allow others to force their opinions on you or make you feel bad for not conforming to whatever they feel is best. Do whatever you feel is best for your look, that your comfortable with and stop giving fools so much power over your emotional and mental state.