With that said stay away from the negativity as much as you can, you do not need permission from the natural hair gods on what you do in your own bathroom. I saw a comment on facebook recently that went something like this:
So if I flat iron*/color my hair am I not natural any more? I still want to be natural
It makes me sad to see comments like these because natural hair in some circles has become like an exclusive club where only the members to adhere to the strictest form of the club’s codes are allowed to remain members. Natural hair is what it means to YOU and you alone.
The most important thing is that you find reliable sources to educate yourself on anything that you might be confused about or anything that might be brand new to you. The second most important thing is that you make your mistakes if you have to but learn from them.
4 Ways to Fail In Your Natural Hair Journey And Still Be OK
1. Intermittent dryness and breakage – If you are experiencing relentless dryness and on top of that breakage, you can sometimes feel as if all your efforts are in vain. Don’t worry! Just figure out ‘the why’ and ‘the how’ to fix it and move on!
2. Color – Coloring your hair is probably one of the most creative things you can do on your natural hair journey. We all like to experiment with different looks, and who never wondered what they would look like as a blonde? If you try it and it affects your hair in a negative way, there are ways to recover. Educate yourself, start over, you now know that color doesn’t work for your hair but realize that it is not the end of the world, learn and move on.
3. Heat damage – If you use heat, even with heat protectant* you might still just experience some heat damage. Don’t get flustered, your hair is still growing, it will recover and you will learn something. Direct heat is probably not for you.
4. Psychological neglect – Sometimes we go through a phase of just not feeling like doing a daggone thing to our hair, we stop deep conditioning*, we stop wearing our bonnet, we don’t protect our ends it’s just a free for all. This is something we all experience and during our HHJ’s and there is usually a little voice nudging us to get back on our game. As long as you have your voice, this too shall pass, don’t sweat it.
And finally we want to emphasize that if you are experiencing physical hair issues, like breakage or shedding, realize that doing a relaxer or texlaxing your hair does not fix the issue it will likely make things worse.
Think of your hair strand like a piece of string, if it is so worn out or damaged that it cannot hold on to itself adding a chemical to further degrade the strand doesn’t help strengthen it, it weakens it.
What are some of the ways you have failed in your natural journey and what did you learn?
cute color.
Product trial and error. ..twist outs,bantu knot out never turn out right, heat damage, failing to moisturize daily
It’s not failure if you learned from it. The only way to go wrong when going natural is when one becomes weak and decides to relax their hair because they can’t deal with or have patience with themselves.
I agree. Patience is key. One thing that I have learned over the last couple of years is that when first starting out: natural hair is less predictable than relaxed hair. Over time you develop a routine that works for your hair and eventually you can look back and laugh at those lessons learned along the way 🙂
I waited way to long to chop off my relaxed ends, I was holding on to my length but the two different textures were so difficult to detangle once I chopped off the relaxed ends I noticed my natural hair is easier to detangle…..lesson learned
Consistency with my hair… I went from moisturizing everyday to not at all. Trying to get back at it
Stick to the basics mom & em used on ur natural hair back n the day. All that these new products do is break down ur hair texture/structure over time…
Findin right product
Heat damage…started straightening my hair too much
Trims are important when your ends are damaged or tangled. I have learned to let them go and realize my hair is growing and will grow back. I have definitely learned healthy is more important that length…
Trying out to many products. Smh. I just want a basic product I can use on me and my baby girl hair
I still haven’t overcome frizz. It’s a catch 22- water hydrates & is the #1 moisturizer but it creates a frizz fest once my hair dries & yes of course I seal.
Nice Red Natural Hair
Moisture, moisture, moisture! My hair in the winter is like a totally different head of hair. I have always suffered breakage and strange kinds of shedding (like more in one section) in the winter. This winter I think I’ve finally figured out what to do–supplements and more moisture.
TRYING EVERY NATURAL PRODUCT….LEARNED EVERYTHING AIN’T FOR EVERYBODY
Natural means your natural hair pattern ….it does not mean chemically free…is that right or wrong ?
The Real Person!
When we refer to natural we mean chemical free not necessarily virgin hair. But natural means whatever it means to YOU and you alone. 🙂
My mistake is going back to that devilish weave cause im still not comfortable with my thin hair
My biggest challenge was cutting heat from my routine and utilizing protective styles
What do y’all moisturize with? My hair color and texture is just like hers in the pic
not having patience and cutting my hair off about 3-4 times. I could have possibly been at shoulder/mid-back length by this time but oh well! going to wait it out this time.
Bantu knot on natural hair, worked great during transitioning. I may try again in the future.
I wouldn’t said I’ve failed, I’ve been natural for just under 2 years an was praying that my scalp condition would clear up. I’ve used all paraben and sulfate free products praying once again it would help. Did the BC thinking my scalp needed to breathe. Hair grew back still having scalp issues. Now because I had WLS my hair is shedding something awful, so now it BC time again, but think I’ll keep it short this time. Thought for sure Biotin was a preventative measure against shedding but not.
Try natural african black soap as a shampoo
Coloring
Garlic oil or pills help with shedding..
Wearing my hair out, trying to make it do what it won’t despite it giving every indication that it was unhappy and suffering. I learned to listen and stop forcing the issue and that even though some products work for a lot of ppl, my hair needs something different.
I try to keep my hair moisturized but I can’t seem to get it right. It feels so dry and rough .mainly in the back of my head where I normally get a lot of breakage. And it doesn’t feel as thick as it used to before my big cut. What do I do??? Help me ladies.
Product relaxed twice now staying relaxed lol
Hair is the same as everything else, what works for one doesn’t work for all. Same with my girls hair.
This cute
I dyed my hair myself and every since, I’ve had more breakage than usual.
I failed at using the wrong products…finally did some deep research and finally found the right products…hair is doing excellent…stronger, getting longer, keeps moisture and scalp is good…
Wat site did yu go on? im tryin 2 start mine bt looks like ima have 2 start wit da big chop..
From the middle to the back of my head the hair gets soo dry even though I moisturise every 2 days, it just won’t stay soft :'(
Trying tropic island castor oil and going to take vitamin c and zinc tablets
Buying a huetiful steamer aswell. Natural is the only way. I’m trying everythin
Twist outs. I have 4xyz hair ( yes that is a texture..lol) and it does not take well to twist outs . Also I hate having oily hair all day. I wanna be able to touch my hair and jot have oil on my hands…
Lol @ wanting to touch your hair without getting oil on your hands! I’ve become so accustomed to it I just rub it in my hands like lotion 😉
ROTFLOL!!!!
I’ve learned that although henna may work well for some, it definitely doesn’t work for me. I used it religiously for a while and it ended up breaking my hair. So I had to BC and start over again, but luckily, I love cutting my hair, so it wasn’t a big deal to start over 🙂
Moisture and I haven’t had my ends cut in a really long time.
Failing to regularly trim is my biggest issue. All my other struggles stemmed from that. Just got a trim and overpaid and got confusing advice about why natural hair may not be for me. But it made me steadfast and realize that them trims on the regular is key whether I use hear regularly or not. I also learned that everyone’s advice isn’t good just because they’re professionals. Unless they’re specialized in natural hair it may be best to take their advice with a grain of salt.
Amen to that! For all the hours of teaching given in cosmetology school, less than 10% of that time is on natural Afro-textured hair. A stylist can learn through experience and industry seminars, but its amazing to me that the formal teaching is centered around straight hair.
Glycerin is a no no in the winter. Silicones help me retain moisture in this artic Chicago winter.
I don’t moisturize enough. Trying to keep my style. smh
I went natural thinking that i was going to be able to wash n go my hair everyday… boy was i mistaken!! My hair cannot air drt with out it tangling and matting something fierce o_0 if i don’t set it with at least conditioner…. so in order for me to acheive a wash n go look i have to set my hair in a braid out or twist out to achieve the look….
Shawnnita see my post right below yours, LOL… I so feel ya!
I might end up being a fail. 2/1/14 marked my 2 year anniversary being natural. It has rained just about everyday this month and my 4 BEYOND C hair has been a hot mess. This week I just worked from home as I was tired of everyone (including other naturalistas) staring at my bird’s nest. At age 50 in an executive white collar job, unruly bird nests don’t look cute and hip the way it does on the younger set in hipper job settings.
I’m at the edge about ready to go back thinking to myself maybe natural hair just isn’t for everyone. We don’t have natural hairstylist around here and the normal hairstylist don’t want to do nothing for me except cut me down to a TWA or give me dreds, I’m not interested in either. I went natural to stop shedding / breakage that had gotten out of control. My dermatologist thought my bp meds didn’t like the relaxer. Well I’m still on those meds so if I go back to relaxing the breaking shedding might come back. Basically I’ve got a head full of thick, Angela Davis sized afro hair and don’t know what in the hell to do with it… I have a very important executive business meeting next week so I’m going to have goddess braids put in this weekend. They usually last me about 3 weeks. Guess I will do that every month for awhile until I find some solutions.
My fails are twists outs, braid outs, bantu knots, eco gel… NONE of these things work on my hair in a nice way, they all turn into big old nappy (yes I said the N word NAPPY) afros. Not curly but kinky get the scissors naps! ROTLMAO!!! The only way to get a curl in my hair is to use perm rods or those long bendable rollers (the ones that look like straws) and that will only last 1 day. Only 1 hour if its raining. And I have to re roll it EVERY NIGHT. We are not talking a few rollers, I have to put in about 50!! Too much work… I’m just tired of the hold dang mess… sigh…
The Real Person!
Perhaps you should try wearing it stretched and in updo’s for a minute. That’s what I do when I start getting frustrated with my hair. Trust me it happens at every length. Goddess braids sound good too 🙂
Thanks for the suggestion. The stretching is why I’m frustrated. Its been a rainy week and with my hair type as soon as the outdoor wet humid air gets to it, it shrivels back up with in the hour. Even if I do a pony tail / bun the front shrivels and I look fuzzy headed like I just got out of bed. LOL So I will go with the Goddess braids for next week, and pray over this situation going forward. Two years is a long time to turn back now but I’m sooooo tempted. But I believe in giving things a 30 day think over before acting on them so the Goddess braids will give me a cooling off period so I can think it through. 🙂
I over moisturize. I have 3a/3b hair and that leads to more co-washing than I should be doing since my hair already holds moisture. I just love shine lol
My main problem is letting my scalp get really dry.
I fail all the time
I’m a newbie natural diva, I have nit made it to my 1year anniversary as of yet. But my journey has been somewhat frustrating due to the fact that I am also dealing with what I think is some type of alopecia that is in the crown of my head and also thinning areas that flow from my crown to one side of my head which makes it very difficult to wear any type of styles. My hair has very good length and fullness in the back but the front is thin and short. I’ve decided to try the black castor oil and messages until I reach ny 1 yr natural anniversary before seeking any medical advice/ help. So I pretty much do wigs but I see other naturals and the beautiful hairstyles they’re rocking and I want the sane thing for myself so I’m constantly frustrated and question myself if it’s worth all the hard work with my hair regimens and etc. :/
Understanding that hair care is to be done daily. This could mean moisturizing tHe hair. Also what works for one person may not work for me.
Cute
That not getting “the big chop” and taking your boyfriends advice that you can go natural without it and with relaxed ends Is a baaaaaaaaaad idea.
Needless to say I didn’t want the chop so after months of torture I finally relaxed again. Still dealing with slight broken hair
Clipping my ends i hate to but i have learned my hair loves water
LCO works better on my hair that LOC. What works for someone else may not work for you.
I did the big chop :/ I wish I waited the relaxer out. I was able to do a lot more with my longer hair.
Watching too many youtube videos:). I learn patience is a virtue and I need more of it and tons of oil and moisture to deal with my 4c(i think) and gray combination.
My daughter has the same problem and she’s use the african black soap which hasvdone wonders for her acne but nothing for her scalp.
I got a silk wrap once and got severe heat damage. That was my first one ever. Had to cut my hair off. Wasn’t happy about that.
Washing and not combing it …..tangled mess later
Her eyebrows are on point!
That I should’ve big chopped longgg ago since I was wearing weave anyway! Best thing I did
Yeah, no, or “I’ll take consideration of.”? Taishia Wilson
Didn’t work
So, you’ve tried it?
I love color although i dnt color often i have to remember to add moisture
I used one of those black, elastic hairbands to make a puff and as I was slowly sliding the band into place. I thought my hair looked cuter when the band was not all the way on top of my head. I kept it over the wider part of my head. It was tight but I thought it would be alright. By the time I got home from work, my head was throbbing! I lost my hair where the band was digging in on the top and sides of my scalp. Clean baldness and I still have dents in my scalp in the thickness and shape of the hairband! My hair is about 6 inches long so this was rather devastating. I style around the spots and thanks to Jamaican Black Castor Oil, my hair is coming back.
no matter what u pretty yes
I should let my natural hair grow out before i cut it
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By not big chopping sooner and keeping that stringy relaxed hair on my head longer than I should love my natural locks