Time and time again I have overheard men’s conversations about how “women only like a man with money” or “once he gets all the money he can have any girl he wants”. This dangerous fairy tale, frequently sold to men by rap stars, often traps these men with the wrong woman: one who preys on their wallets. It leaves no mention of the kind of woman who is not so easily persuaded by a money clip: the independent one who has her own.
After reading a fellow BHI writer’s article about the intimidation factor of big, black hair, it solidified the idea that men would still stay far away from me as a natural-haired women. Not for lack of attraction, but rather the formidable statement of it. It made me realize how far we have come from the old adage of men courting women.
When did men become too terrified to go after what they wanted, or feel that it was best to simply go with the safe bet? What happened to the man whose heart would flutter at the sight of a woman with strength and independence? Rather we live now in a world where many men have forgotten what it’s like to be a man; what it takes to be a man. Not to take away from our strength as women, but why should any man be intimidated by a woman? Or feel as though he were a lesser than?
The men who feel that way end up living out a self-fulfilling prophecy and no doubt don’t deserve a powerful woman, but that leaves the sea quite scant when it comes to the number of available men who appreciate this type of woman. Where are the men who in days of old would have appreciated a woman who could meet him at his level?
The truth is there are many more high-performing women in this world than there are high-performing men. This simple fact alone means that for most of us strong, independent types have a steep road ahead to traverse in order to find an equal, and even steeper still to find a man who exceeds us.