We tackle this subject at least a couple times per year because to be frank, it is a real problem. Imagine: you’re in the store, and a lady walks up to you and compliments your hair. You say, “Thank you”, and the predictable happens…she reaches for your hair. What do you do?
A. Take a step back.
B. Nicely say, “Don’t touch my hair.”
C. Make an excuse as to why she can’t touch it.
D. Say “Girl, you know you’re not supposed to touch people’s hair!” in a joking manner.
Well, depending on what type of person you are, any of those choices could work. It can be rude of a person to even reach for your hair, or any part of your body, especially if they don’t know you.
Some people are aggressive and outgoing, and they don’t mind going out of their way to see if your hair is real, soft, hard, etc, by touching it. It almost makes you want to wear a shirt everyday that says, “DO NOT TOUCH MY HAIR!”
As she reaches for your hair, go ahead and take a step back.
She’ll get the point. It may come off as rude to her, but she was being rude by violating your personal space without your consent. Just take a step back and smile. You can also try nicely saying, “Don’t touch my hair”, but I know deep down inside you’re like:
There’s nothing wrong with just expressing to people that you don’t want your hair touched after you’ve probably slaved over it to get it perfectly styled. You can’t have them tearing down what you built.
We spend hours on our hair, so we don’t need anyone messing that up. You can also step back and make an excuse about why you don’t want your hair touched.
“Oh, no. I wouldn’t touch that if I were you. It’s time to wash it. Super greasy!” Jokingly tell her, “Girl, you know you’re not supposed to touch anyone’s hair. I don’t even know where your hands have been.”
What about you? Do have any “hair touching” stories you’d like to share? How did you handle the situation, or how would you handle it? Comment below!
Sonya Simmons says
Or u can start touching & pulling theirs too. My personal fave “you’re invading my personal space” in my most calm & properly toned yet respectfully filled with disdain voice. lbvs. either one usually causes ’em to think.
Timoa Roler says
I personally don’t take offense. I just think maybe they are a little socially awkward and/or extremely curious. What will it hurt to let them touch my hair?
Laquicia Dinish says
I tell them “We are not at a peting zoo and i am not an animal…stop it”. -_-
Toria Nygren says
Ronda Ridley says
I don’t like someone to touch my hair as I agree with Laquicia Dinish! I’m not an animal. Know what? I’m untamed!!!!
Cheryl Williams says
I grew up with a grandmother who taught us not to let everyone put their hands in our hair, and to be selective with your stylist. I’ve never had an issue with people wanting to touch my hair, I guess I give them the look lol
Brenda Matthews says
Since some ppl don’t wash their hands…I usually catch them before they make contact, lol
Theresa Oliver says
People’s do ve a habit of doing that ,dang
Jacci Moore says
Let me know, I told a Lady that I don’t like my hair being touched,I tried to be nice, she still hates me, lol
Kimberly Champion says
i love when people touch my hair and play in my hair.
i just pray i dont catch bugs and cooties b/c that does happen to folks…
Tiger Lilly says
Hmmm, that’s a case by case…
Cheri Jacoby says
When I lived down south, I was THE lightest flake where I lived. I usually got it from gals who wanted to see if it was real. Now,never haveing worn tracks or braids or anything and not knowing jack about blackhair or my hair, I was rather flattered at the interests, but how is somebody supposed to know if they don’t ask? No, we are not a bunch of petting zoo attractions,however, as long as their not rude and/or disrespectful and ask and you have the time and inclination, questions from folk who don’t know and want too are ok. But certainly, it is never ok to just just reach out n touch a sister without permission anyway. Ya might pull back a nub, lol. HAIR FOR THE PEOPLE!
Cheri Jacoby says
A woman’s hair is her crowning glory, don’t you know….can I git an ” Amen” from the congregation…..lol……
Cheri Jacoby says
It just might save a life, and the mortal embarrassment of some little boy or girl who’s mom and dad aren’t of the same ethnicity. Families come in all shapes n sizes, and we all got hair, POWER TO HAIRY PEOPLES!
Courtney Gray says
I just let them touch it. Its not that big of a deal. But if they pulling it its a problem
Cb Sampson says
NO ONE TOUCHES MY HAIR I DON’T TOUCH YOURS CAUSE I DON’T WANT TO SO DON’T TOUCH MINE PLEASE I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOUR HANDS BEEN AND YOUR KARMA MAY BE ALL MESSED UP I BET THEY WOULD NEVER LET YOU TOUCH THEIRS
If I am in a conversation with someone about my hair and they respectfully ask, I may allow it if they aren’t a complete stranger. However that is very rare-usually someone walks up and just reaches out, like I am a display at a petting zoo. I’ve become adept at ducking such an exchange, I can probably duck that quicker than if someone were about to punch me! For the most part I can’t stand when someone touches my hair like that. In certain intimate situations or at a salon is a different story. My most memorable and by far most creepy hair-petting incident was on the train one day on my way home from work: I had a long curly ponytail at the time, and I was sitting there listening to my Mp3 and minding my business, when I felt a hand in my ponytail. I suppose whoever did it had no idea long hair is like whiskers, and though it has no nerves we can feel everything as it travels up the length. Inside I panicked, as I was not in a position to just get up and walk away, the train was between stops. I maintained composure, and as soon as the train door opened I bolted, and waited for the next train. That happened when I first started commuting-if it had happened later, I may have been on the news, on top of the creep, with a handful of his hair pounding his head on the ground! To me that is as much an invasion as touching any other body part without permission.
I was shopping with my son in town – his hair was shoulder blade length at the time. Two complete strangers (girls – late teens early 20’s; certainly old enough to know better) came up to us arm in arm – no “hi how ya doin’ ” or anything like that, just – “oooh, can we touch his hair?” I’ll tell you, the creases that appeared in my forehead surely let them know the answer, but I firmly added “No” just in case they didn’t realise the absurdity of their request!
Stacie Hart says
Just say No…..
Charrisse Ling says
Curse them out…..that’s what to do! I’m not a sideshow freak or an animal at a petting zoo
Yolanda Carr says
My girls get it all the time carnt imagine how u all feel when people do this as it annoys the hell out of me and it’s not my hair 🙁 people are ignorant x
Morgan Vogel says
Stare them dead in the eyes, grab a handful of their hair, and then proceed to tell them how gross and greasy their hear is. . . . Even if it’s not.
Angela Terry says
Slap the hand…
Sheila Jones says
Yes, I need this !! I absouletly HATE peoplest hands in my hair !!!
Neema Liggins says
I say slap away the hand and then give them the crazy stare down.
Tae Adelaide Odette Majaya says
I am tired of people at work touching my hair endlessly. Like back away and don’t touch
Alisson Hislop says
B**ch slap them
Dee Miller says
Touching hair without permission is rude and disrespectful. Permission allows you allow them or not… That is the point!
It’s not about if you mind or not. This issue is far deeper. We are are entitled to the same respect as others. We are not subjects to simply satisfy anyone or everyone’s curiosities!
Our responses to these awkward and annoying situations are very much dependant on their approach on touching our hair.
I make no apologies for anyone’s arrogance and disrespect. Particularly, when they blatantly approach you from a position where they are not in eye contact. ie, from behind.