So the other weekend I was out with my girls at a day party. Now that it’s finally Spring, I can finally start rocking my wash and go again. My wash and go on that day came out amazing, and everybody was giving me compliments- not just guys, but girls too.
It was nice, and I love the support I get of my natural hair but one thing that bothered me was when I kept getting asked “what are you mixed with?” As if to say that my hair couldn’t be fabulous if I were 100% black.
It really bothered me because for so long I struggled with self-love and learning to love myself for me, and not what society wants me to be. If I could say 3 things to girls all over the world who, like me, hate that dreaded “mixed” comment, or are simply struggling with accepting their hair for what it is, it would be this:
1. Afro kinky* hair is just as fabulous
whether your curl pattern is loose or tightly coiled, it doesn’t matter! I’ve learned to embrace my natural curl pattern for what it is. Don’t let society tell you that your hair isn’t beautiful.
2. The Afro part of a mixed girl adds to her beauty as well
Mixed can mean a variety of different things! I know when most people think or use the term “mixed” they think fair skin and curly hair. While that is true, it isn’t always true. Sometimes bi or multi racial women have afros as well. Just look at Traci Ellis Ross- her mother is black and her father is white, yet she has beautiful kinky* hair.
3. I am not my hair
Your hair shouldn’t define you. Granted, for most, their hair is an expression of them, but there are so many other aspects of a person, besides their hair.
Comment below and let us know if you get the “are you mixed” question often.
Kathleen Lindley says
Kia Johnson says
Sophronia Sang says
Sandra Blackmon-Berry says
Artra Veal says
Christine Atchison says
Work it !!”
Valerie Johnson says
Victoria Holden says
I love her hair, beautiful!
My thoughts exactly. I am loving my natural hair, my confidence in myself has soared 100%. There are days that I can it not as fab as wish it to be but overall I love it because it is so versatile and learning to handle my own hair has be a great teaching and learning experience that I have embrace as the best part of myself.
This old adage about hair texture and % of blackness is kind of old, kind of boring and 100% plain wrong! Black people are just like white Europeans, Asians or Orientals, in that we have variety in skin shade, eye colour, face, shape and hair. You can be Black African and have dead straight hair like the Ethiopians or you can be Bi-racial and have the kinkiest hair known to mankind! Either way, it doesn’t matter! Before the days of the Enlightenment, I can understand why people thought like that. But c’mon now we know better than this. Nobody gets to choose skin colour or hair texture and this thing about, well your mama must have slept with the milkman for hair to be like that. Stop and breath. We need to allow ourselves along with our family and friends to just be.
Akudo-Kyoshia Mcgee-Osuagwu says
Jim Berkey that’s how I wanna wear my hair 🙂
Shirley C Silver says
Natural and beautiful
Gemma Coreen Erskine says
Exactly. Don’t know why some persons feel that black people cannot grow.