The Constant Chatter Around Black Women And Their Hair And Why I Stopped Caring

We (black girls) never seem to win. It’s not like this wasn’t apparent to me before but on that particular Friday when I had left my earphones at home- a particularly interesting conversation between a group of black girls and guys caught my attention.

They were arguing about hair. According to some of them, weaves and wigs were simply for insecure girls too ashamed to wear their real hair. Others argued that weaves were a blessing for those of us with “the more tightly curled hair”.

Sorry, what?

Opinions on black hair within the black community are divided. From the strange looks you get from a ‘concerned’ relative when you decide to rock your fro to the debate of natural versus relaxed.

There is always a point of discussion. There is always something to be said. Like a tweet I read, which mocked natural girls on the premise that being natural was for broke people. Or- if we flip it around- the black women who argue that fellow women who wear weaves are basically “trying to be white”.

There seems to be a kind of pompousness that has trailed behind the wonderful going natural movement. This pompousness has caused some members of the movement to look down upon any other black woman who is not natural. It’s almost as if being natural comes with a sense of enlightenment which means that any woman with a wig, weave or the like is instantly seen as a problem.

This is where I have a problem. It is one thing to acknowledge that some black girls may feel insecure because of their hair and it is another to link this insecurity with simply experimenting with our aesthetic.

To assume that all girls who wear weaves are insecure is too broad a generalization because, let’s be honest, when it’s cold outside, some of us would like to keep those ends wrapped up and look good whilst doing so.

To clarify, we should not ignore the fact that some black girls feel insecure about their real hair, NEITHER SHOULD WE ASSUME THIS IS THE CASE FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US.

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About Ony Anyanwu

Hey, I'm Ony. A student who loves writing about stuff, like hair. Finding my way ✌

About Ony Anyanwu

Hey, I'm Ony. A student who loves writing about stuff, like hair. Finding my way ✌


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  1. ladee neenah

    Our hair is subject to so much controversy because we allow it to be. Clearly it is important to us, look at the amount of time and effort, not to mention money, that is spent on something as superficial as hair. We get instant feelings about what someone else says, or what they do with their hair. We are willing to argue about another’s opinion as it relates to hair. When we are able to say “Yeah, so what?” and walk away from these contentious discussions without emotional responses then it will no longer be an issue.

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