Meanies In The Forums- How Should You Respond?

Mean people in forumsWe have all been there. You are on a hair site, and you like it. You like the articles and you like the comments that people leave, and you have even gotten some good ideas and info. So naturally, if you find that you have a question, you think that going into the forums would be good. You either find a question already in the forum or you post an new one. Either way, you may be going about your beautiful business, when BAM! there it is.  A mean comment.

This has happened to me a few times, on different sites. I find that there is a comment on my comment, so I go to take a look. Of course, I am excited, as anything about hair or clothes or makeup fascinates me. Most of the time, the feedback is great, but other times….hmm. Here are a few gems I vividly remember:

“I’m sure you couldn’t pull that hairstyle off, it’s too cute”

“That was a dumb thing to say”

“I bet you don’t have a life, cause I see your comments all the time”

“You’re ugly, and gross, why are you here? Boo Hoo your hair is nappy”- (keep in mind this is on a forum page where we are all faceless, no pics)

I must admit that when I first read some of the mean comments I would look around my empty room, incredulous, like the comments were surely not aimed at me. There must have been some mistake, they must be talking to the imaginary person in my kitchen? Then I would be like, “O-Kay! You wanna take it there?! Let’s take it there!” Then of course I would think of some amazingly brilliant comeback, precisely worded, and then-


Um, then?

Nothing.

Yup.

No Response. Because it would dawn on me that a) this person is probably a troll or b) they are the ones with no life, and are to be pitied, and c) I do not go to forums to fight with strangers. I go there to communicate like a mature adult and to share information.

Mean face

It’s on like donkey kong!

Yes, beauties, it is far too easy to get caught up cyber-arguing with a computer screen. Because unless these people have Skype, that’s what I would be doing, isn’t it? This is not to say that there cannot be disagreements, but if the interaction takes a wrong turn, I stop typing. I move on. My time and energy is valuable. Why should I, or anyone else with common sense and courtesy, waste either one  on a person who goes out of their way to be negative, petty, or downright hateful? Really, are these the people you want to interact with? Do you want to give them precious minutes of your life?  You could use that time reading positive articles or something, or laughing at funny cat pictures on Google. (That last one is me, sorry)

So, the moral of this is that meanies on the forums only want to get you riled up. They do not want to help you. They are bored, and their day is going crappy, so they want to make your day crappy too.  Do not give them the satisfaction. You really can’t win an argument with a forum meanie, so why bother? Never let anyone steal your joy. And that applies to more than forums.

Do you reply to mean people in the forums? Why or why not?

Originally posted 2012-05-30 19:00:50.

About Ashes


I am a 28 year old wife, daughter and friend. I have been natural for almost 10 years, heat free for 6 months. I have recently started my own blog and would like to write for other blogs and sites as well. I love everything about hair and makeup and fashion, as I believe that those are powerful ways to express oneself. I very strongly believe that people should be themselves, no pretenses. I love to talk to different people and hear different viewpoints, because there IS room for everyone.

About Ashes


I am a 28 year old wife, daughter and friend. I have been natural for almost 10 years, heat free for 6 months. I have recently started my own blog and would like to write for other blogs and sites as well. I love everything about hair and makeup and fashion, as I believe that those are powerful ways to express oneself. I very strongly believe that people should be themselves, no pretenses. I love to talk to different people and hear different viewpoints, because there IS room for everyone.

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Comments

  1. Tiffany L
    Tiffany L'Tonya

    Ignore them. … Some ppl just HAVE to say something, want to be seen, or have low self esteem and choose to insult others from behind a screen. Smh.

  2. FunSizee Rima
    FunSizee Rima

    Ignore them or respectfully inform them of their ignorance 🙂 but dnt keep going back at it let them look childish

  3. Andrea Angie Tater
    Andrea Angie Tater

    I no longer want to see the word NAPPY instead I want to see Empress Coiled because we are REGAL and PROUD of it anymore positive adjectives is welcomed pay it forward.

  4. Erica Yancey
    Erica Yancey

    I Love lookn at da Styles n tips U give, I Jus recently went Natural bcuz I was tired of putn perms n my hair so I say ignore the Negative comments cuz ppl will Always have sumn 2 say Reguardless of wht it is, Keep up da Good work

  5. Drelay Dobson
    Drelay Dobson

    I say ignore them and keep it moving. It’s not worth the time it takes to type a response. #getalife

  6. Wendy Stewart
    Wendy Stewart

    Why do we treat each other so poorly? Then we wonder why others treat us bad as a race? We must uplift each other, there is enough negativism out there…ignore the negative!

  7. Andrea Simpson-Jones
    Andrea Simpson-Jones

    It depends. Some people take other’s honest opinions as put downs when they are just stating their own observation and then some people get mad because you don’t agree with them. It is all in how you look at the comments. Someone not agreeing with you is not them necessarily being mean or negative. It is just THEIR truth and THEIR reality.

  8. Lasilia Imnottheonenottoday Thornton
    Lasilia Imnottheonenottoday Thornton

    they are obviously unhappy with themselves. so allow them to throw their tantrum and look foolish. you can address them directly , or ignore them altogether. no amount of talking or reasoning will fix their ignorance.

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