My best friend and I were walking to the mall, and I really wanted to compliment her on her new look. “Girl, I love your TWA! It’s looks so good on you and I love how it brings out the beauty and features in your face,” I gushed.
She replied, “Oh yes hunny! I had to let that relaxer go. I feel so liberated and ready for this new chapter in my hair journey.”
I asked her, “Girl, I know your boo loves it, right?”
Her excited shrills immediately changed to a somber whisper, “Tina…he dumped me…I guess he only wanted me for my waist length hair.” I was completely shocked and speechless. But I wanted to support and encourage her in any way I could. So I gave her a loving and caring hug, and let her know that she is beautiful no matter what! But that had me thinking for the rest of the day, ‘Can a woman’s decision to Big Chop really affect her love relationship?’
What is The Big Chop?
We all know what the big chop is: it marks stage one of your hair journey, where you make an attempt to rid your hair of the relaxer by cutting it, and allowing your natural hair to grow out to great lengths. Big chops can also happen if you already have natural hair, and you just feel like starting over for something fresh and different.
Not everyone thinks big chops are cool though; some might go as far as to think your man did you wrong, and you chopped your hair off to let go of the past. Others might think that you are having a mid-life crisis, and your long hair was holding you back, so you finally let go.
Then there are those who think you are completely sick and crazy, and that you have completely lost your mind. But hey! Not everyone is going to love all of your decisions; there will be unwanted opinions, rude comments, and blank stares – but who cares, right?
The truth is, it’s easy not to care about the comments of those people we do not have to see everyday especially when those cruel comments and harsh statements come from the one who should support and encourage you always, like your man.
After all, we enter into our love relationships with relaxed, texlaxed, or maybe even extensions* and weaves. Our guys may not have had not had the chance to see us with our natural hair.