It’s that time again when the spirit of sharing and holiday magic is at its peak. We will be meeting up with our relatives and in-laws; blending the values and attitudes of older generations with those of our own.
It is the time when doting grandparents capitalize on the opportunity to pass on their coveted recipes and dole out advice based on their experiences.
But sadly, it can also be the time when they pass on their insecurities which have bound them in mental fetters for ages.
Sad to say, families can be divisive when it comes to our hair, since some continue to perpetuate ideas that teach our young ones to reject their natural hair.
.It reminds me of the famous meme of the little girl longing for Tracee Ellis Ross’ Hair.
I recently came across an article in which a mother sought advice about how she might respectfully communicate to her in-laws that she is trying to teach her daughter to embrace her natural texture and love her hair.
Each time the poor child visited her paternal grand parents, the lessons of acceptance taught by her mom were replaced with feelings of self loathing, inadequacy and inequality.
While mom had sent lil’ miss to bond with her grandparents and get some much needed R&R, grandma was busy trying to sell the concept of a relaxer to the child by saying she would be so much prettier if her hair was straight.
At four years old, her grandma had been successfully undoing much of the work her mother had done to get her to accept herself the way she was. Grandma had told her that “100% of black girls will never grow long hair.”
On one hand there was grandma advocating the press and curl or a relaxer, while on the other hand there was mommy trying to instill a healthy self-concept that would make her secure in who she is.
The result? A conflicted child who is torn because she wants the acceptance of her grandparents though she is eager to follow the teachings of her mom. So how do you go about teaching children how to accept their natural hair even when others don’t?
Here are a few pointers for you:
Originally posted 2013-11-19 15:00:06.