The whole world and their mother seem to be going natural at the moment. I’ve heard the natural hair movement described as ‘cult-y’ which I suppose is true in some aspects and I have commented on that before.
But mostly I think that it’s it’s a great thing that women are at the very least finally paying more attention to their hair and learning healthy hair practices and learning to work with their natural textures.
Inspired by many youtube videos and forum threads, below is a rundown of the top 20 plain silly things you might hear from well meaning friends family and strangers after your big chop. Who knew there were so many!
1. You are so brave
2. So are you going to grow locs now?
3. Your hair looks like a poodle!
4. And you like it!?? (eyebrows raised)
5. And you are ok having your hair like a man’s? (TWA stage)
6. Does a comb ever get through?
7. So you don’t want straight hair?
8. I would go natural myself if I had “good hair”
9. So what are you going to do with it?
10. Are you mixed?
11. What did you put in it to make it so curly?
12. Are you tryna be like Indie Arie?
13. My boyfriend would freak if I went natural!
14. So you want to grow it out then perm it right?
15. Girl which weave is that?
16. So do you go everywhere like that?
17. Did you fall out with your stylist?
18. Is that your real hair?
19. What did your man say?
20. Well, you can go natural because you’ve got that good hair . . .
Some comments in that list make me laugh and some are just downright mean and offensive. I have no problem with relaxed hair, on the contrary, I accept every woman has the right to do to her hair what she will but who knew that simply letting your hair remain as it grows from your scalp would be so controversial!
By far the most common comment even in my experience seems to be “You are so brave! I could never go natural because of . . . blah blah” I would just like to respond to that with this; Brave is soldiers going into armed combat on foreign soil. Brave is for a cancer patient fighting the disease with a smile on their face. Brave is even going in front of Simon Cowell for an audition! Brave is NOT letting my hair grow without chemically altering it.
I am a great believer in doing what suits your lifestyle first without completely compromising the health of your hair. If you find that for whatever reason you are not ready to return to your natural texture, I won’t sit here and convince you otherwise, it is a personal choice that you should go into wholeheartedly not because some random blogger says you should, but because you actually WANT to.
I can certainly recommend ways on how you can keep your relaxed/texlaxed hair healthy and yet I will also be here to support you should you ever change you mind and opt to go on a natural hair adventure. However when I hear the comment ‘Yeah but you’ve got good hair’ come out of someone’s mouth I lose all control.
<begin rant> I believe that all hair is good hair but I won’t pretend that I don’t know that when people say good hair they mean curly hair. Honestly, I was just as surprised as anyone to learn that my hair had a bit of a natural curl pattern but as a 4a with predominantly kinky* natural hair do I have truly wash and go hair? Not by a long shot!
Wash and go’s take 2-3 hours for me to complete, on a good day, and even then my itty bitty curls may disappear in a couple of hours but I’m cool with that.
I have learned the hard way that just because you can do a cute curly wash and go, doesn’t mean you should (for the sake of length retention). So when I am not wearing my kinks out, I choose to create curls with a simple braid out or flexi rods*, they much less of a hassle and better for length retention.
So when somebody says that I have “good hair”, I agree completely. But not because I have the naturally curly hair that they think I do, but because I have finally mastered my own hair enough to be comfortable in either kinks or curls. </end of rant>
What silly comments were you subjected to when you first went natural?
Them: When are you gonna relax it again?.. Me: Um never again its natural.!
“When you goin do something to your hair?”
It especially urks when someone with no edges and/or a bad perm says that.
thank. you.
Let’s not leave out the women who have major thinning hair issues due to aging and stress yet still relax their hair. My own mother fits into that category and she’s still the first one to make snide/critical remarks about me being natural. I just laugh at her and brush her comments to the side.
Or someone with a bad weave!!
Haha I got what’s going on with your hair?
Them: so how long are you going thru with this nonsense Me: FOREVER!!!
“I could never do that!”
Them:you should use a relaxer Me: why?…my hair not stressed
The hurtful thing was that the negative comments came from my black coworkers….my white counterparts liked the change…had nothing but compliments.
Can’t remember the exact words, but it was something like “I liked it better the other way” (when it was straight). As if I asked them if they liked my hair. Smh! Totally unsolicited opinion!
I had to teach several young white girls that I work with that that statement is not a compliment. It is a uneeded remark that has a derrogatory value and could get them punched in the face on the job if I heard it again.
I just heard over and over your bold I could never do that it wouldn’t look good on me. Did anyone else notice a different class of men approaching them for dates.
I love the fact that most of the negative comments, sly remarks, and smug looks come from more black people than any other race. smh which i do NOT understand.
So true!
Very true!
Loll in every aspect of life n I don’t understand y they fight down each other
^^^the willie lynch letter is still in affect man. everyone should read it
Because white people/other “races” say it to their friends when we aren’t around…that and they don’t want their ignorance of our hair to show.
Them: WHAT stage is your hair NOW!!
Me: same stage yours is , when I SNATCH your wig OFF yo head lmbo
*yessss I had had a MOMENT lol
Now, that was funny
comment of the night! lol
i just died lol
Hahahahaha o man thats too funny
lol
I pictured myself doing that to sum1 LOL
I got asked if I had cancer when I did my big chop.
OH MY GOODNESS!!!!…SMH
“Not everybody looks good with natural hair.” Hopefully they don’t have daughters that they are teaching to hate themselves.
I agree with Traci. All the negative comments came from my black coworkers. Everyone else thought it was cute and wanted to touch it. Five years later I’m still having to deal with foolish remarks such as I still can’t believe you are natural. Wow!
“Oh did you get caught in the rain?” , ” WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?” , ” GIRL YOU ARE BRAVE!” , ” OOOOH NO I CAN’T LET MY HAIR GET LIKE THAT!”, The worst came from a lady with FAKE hair she said, ” That lady over there with the nappy hair!” The funny thing is that some of the people are now natural. Kmsl
I got negative comments from a few black men in my inbox after I posted my BC. “Why did you cut your hair? Men like long hair better. You look less desirable now” ME: DELETE!!!
I slicked my hair back in a bun one day and my bf’s mom said “oh! you combed your hair!’ I was truly offended, like just because I’m not in the shop with you getting chemical treatments and constant heat damage then my hair isn’t combed? Miss me with that foolishness! lol But you know, we all came up differently so I look over people’s ignorance. My natural hair is a work of art that I truly love <3
My fiance mom said the thing but she’s also natural. I just don’t get her
Now that is silly lol
Brittany Flowers, maybe your hair looks better than hers
That’s true, jealousy may be a factor 🙂 it’s actually quite common lol
Let’s not start on some of our mothers comments! Smh
You look like siely from the color purple
Them: I like the old way better!!! I do not need confirmation of my beauty from MAN OR WOMEN!! I am me ALL THE TIME!
I work with food so I do wigs a lot but when I allow my hair to breathe I here is that really your hair didn’t think it would grow??!! As if hair only grows relaxed/permed & u right it comes mostly from blacks!!
You would be so cute if you did something to your hair
Got called everything but a child of God from my own mother! I did the big chop and my daughter (10 yrs old) is transitioning! She even threaten to call CPS! Had to really step back and reevaluate our relationship after we went at!
Now she was all the way out of line. I commend your strength.
My mother straight up physically attacked me when when I told her I wasn’t putting up with anymore of knocking me down because of my choice to go natural. She wasn’t expecting me to fight her back, though. Guess what? I did with no shame. I don’t care who’s mother you are. When to try come at me physically like a bully and a control freak instead of a MOTHER, I will gladly put up a fight you wished you never started.
Being natural is very Empowering!! I commend all of you beautiful ladies!! 🙂
My friends with relaxed hair:” You’re hair is sooo short. It looks like it Never grows” ( Clearly they didn’t know what shrinkage was)l and when I finally did a blow out I had longer hair than all of them 😉 !
I was also told before that natural hair isn’t “me”. how is my own natural hair not me?! Ridiculous!
I’m realizing not to be shocked at the ignorance some of MY people spew from their mouths…their views are coming from being taught our hair is bad…the physical shackles may be gone but they’re still binding the mind….I just exhale and keep it moving…I’m happy to be nappy!! : )
How long are you going to go before you get a relaxer again?
How long do you plan on keeping it like that?
Yes! I can relate to the, see u got good hair tho, comment. Natural hair comes in many textures. The whole point is to wear YOUR natural hair not to be concerned with what u perceive to be good hair. I don’t like the whole ( good/bad hair) comments. It also kills me when I flat iron my hair and ppl are so stunned and ask, oh how did u get it soooo straight? Like u got to put a relaxer in your hair to have straight hair. White women with curly hair flat iron their hair but nobody asks, oh how did u get it soooo straight!?
Oh, and let’s not forget the ppl u tell you, oh your type of hair don’t count tho. What?! Natural means just tht, natural! Doesn’t matter if ur mixed, black, white whatever! If u don’t chemically straighten your curly/kinky hair ur natural!
“What made you do that?”,” Why would you cut your long pretty hair like that?”(by the way I wore wigs,so no one knew what my hair look like lol) “You look better with long hair” or “oh you’re sick,you must have a head cold”. Yes,I heard a lot since my big chop 12/23/13. But I am proud of my decision. Its just hair people it will grow back! Geeessshhh!
Them: hmm I could never go natural it ain’t for everybody!!
Me: um..neither is a relaxer. And it grows from your head so it’s meant to be!
“wow its so soft” did they expect it to be hard? :/
We black people especially women have been conditioned to think feel and believe whole heartedly that we are inferior disgusting abominations from birth. And since hair is one of the most demonized things i dont think most black people can comprehend a person who shows or embraces their hair in its natural form. Its all of that internalized hatrid.
“Oh, so you’re REALLY not going to perm it?” Or “it works on you but I couldn’t go natural”
i get the most negative comments from black people honestly. it is disheartening sometimes.
I had a woman at my church tell me that “Sister so-and-so knew how to do weaves and she could hook me up”. I was having a terrible hair day that day and I wasn’t too happy with the comment because she had no idea that I didnt want my hair like that. I mean what if I was happy about how my hair was that day and then here she comes with her rude comment? In my opinion she had no right to go there, so I simply replied with “And my cousin does make up. Would you like her number?”
Some people are just rude. And maybe they dont mean to be, but that just goes to show that many people do not think before they speak. I’m not going to say that I do not care about what other people think, because I do, to an extent, but I dont allow others to force their opinions on me, whatsoever. If I want to rock a puffy twist out, I will and it doesn’t matter who likes it and who doesnt as long as I’m feeling it.
The Real Person!
Lol!
My aunt to one of my friends: Girl, now that you are natural you can just put a texturizer on it…that hair is “tight” (as in nappy in a negative way)…
Me: Uh…no. That means she won’t be natural anymore. DUH!
Some of these are not all that silly but I can see why most of you try to make it seem like they are. But luckily you don’t really care about what anyone – including men who you claim you love or want to be attracted to you – actually think. If I didn’t care, I’d walk around with my hair all wired, standing on my head and working for hours just to look like I just got out of bed too.
Wow. I think I have heard all 20 of these comments. Naturals get hated on and asked dumb questions, mostly from black people. The ignorance about natural hair still amazes me. Please don’t freaking ask me how I make my hair curly. I didn’t. God did. Don’t ask me if this is a straw set when you see I have a massive amount tight coils in my hair. Who in da heck is going to straw set all this? Don’t explain to me how you can’t go natural because your hair is too nappy. I didn’t ask and I’m not interested. Stop asking me what kind of weave this is as if black women can grow their own hair long and thick. BTW my parents are both black so stop insisting I must be mixed. .
The weirdest thing that has ever happened to me personally is sleeping with no hair bonnet and waking up to dead beetle in my hair!! Ahhh! …. Hair comments/ questions that have been said to me: “I heard that you shouldn’t use water to moisten your natural hair because it can break.” “How did you get your hair soo long?”.. (Obviously it grew! Lol!)” ….. “You have to cut your hair in order to transition from relaxed to natural….. ” “Are you mixed?….You have got to be mixed to have hair that long!” … ” “Are you gonna cut it down some, it’s too big?!” ….. ” Which brand is that hair in… and color 1B right?…
Did you say you found dead bettles in ur hair or did someone ask u that?
where did the beetle come from??
So is that a texturizer or your natural hair?
Natural aint for everybody lol
Natural aint for everybody lol
The stupidest thing I have heard since I went natural is: Did you get your good grade of hair from your mother or your dad??
People ask me what am I mixed with. I say black all the time. Is that your real hair?
That my hair was pretty nappy.
“Is it supposed to look like that???”First of all how do you know what MY natural hair is supposed to look like??This one is people who think my bun is fake” So what do you have in there”??? “That can’t possibly be all yours???” Lol then when I say it’s all me the response is “OMG I totally was sure it was fake!”
Im dark skinned and had a person say to me “you have to be mixed with something” because of those curls and waves….i guess only certain skin tones can have curls and waves. Ummm thats ridiculous we’re all mixed with something. Doesn’t matter if i have curls or kinks as long as my hair is well kept and I feel beautiful. Good hair…really…come on bruh!
Most people these days forget we are all mixed because we have been conditioned to only acknowledge our black roots.
Lol I’m lightskinned a caramel color and get asked are you mixed… my response is normally, how else do you think my skin is this color? Yes way back when a slave owner or wife had their way with one of my ancestors. DUH!
I really hate when another black person ask that dumb ass question.
People have asked why is my hair so nappy lol.
Is the jeri curl coming back?
My mom asked me, So how long is this “natural hair “thing going to last?
“You’re gonna look old, young people can’t pull off the natural hair look without looking like a granny”.
When I big chopped, I was told I looked like a dude
Why why why is what they would say!!
Nappy head fool
I was told that people who are natural don’t want to comb their hair. Just stupid
I was recently told that I would have to get my hair done for a formal affair; done meaning straight. And that’s how the fight started.
Are you mixed? No! Why anyway!!!
Can I touch your hair…ooh its soft
My hair is Pale Blonde and curly as hell ppl ask me how can I bleach my hair and still perm it at the same time smh I just smile
You can never wear your hair down again unless you straighten it huh?
My Dad- you need to do something with that! I kindly told him he could talk and talk but it wasn’t going to change anything.