And wearing your hair natural is not a political statement
When did how a black woman chooses to wear her hair become a political statement rather than what it is; a hairstyle?
You often see comments online about the use of relaxers being a representation of self-hate just like skin lightening creams and plastic surgery. Well these are strong statements that are likely to gauge a reaction whether your hair is natural or relaxed.
Some may be inclined to agree based on the reported studies which cite risks correlated with relaxer use. These are risks such as hair loss from scalp burns, cancer risk and risks to unborn babies in pregnant women. Why risk having a caustic chemical burn on your head just for some straight hair? RIGHT? You must admit that it all sounds probable and it is easy to see why it would spark some discussions.
But wait just a minute and consider this fact; correlation is not causation. I will say it again; correlation is NOT causation. To demonstrate this, let’s talk about hair extensions* and obesity. As we know African American women use hair extensions* the most out of any other group in America. African American women also have the highest obesity rate compared to any other group in America. Yet it would be patently wrong to say that hair extensions* cause obesity. Hair extension and obesity are just correlated, that’s all. In reality there is no causal relationship.
The same goes for hair relaxers. All the evidence that has been provided thus far shows a correlation between hair relaxers and some negative health outcomes but none so far has shown a causal relationship so it would be wise to put this information into perspective when talking about them.
That aside, many other cosmetic and household products we use also come with risks associated yet we use them anyway because we always have. Soaps, shampoos, and cosmetics also contain many allergens, parabens and fragrances which have been linked to cancer yet we go on using them. Meat, particularly barbecued meat has a higher correlation to cancer than many of these household items, yet veganism, although it is growing, still has a pretty low adoption level.
Looking back at my childhood, and this may be a very naive view of things, but when I was around 10 I asked my mum if I could get my hair relaxed. She refused, saying that I could have it done when I was thirteen. When I was finally old enough, on the night before we were due to go to the salon to get my hair relaxed, I was so excited I could barely sleep.
I was excited not because of any socio-political reason but because it would make my hair look DIFFERENT. Just the same way as I would get excited about wearing a brand new outfit to a party I was invited to. By the same token, I was ecstatic to see my natural hair grow when I decided to transition some years back. Not for any other reason than my hair would look DIFFERENT.
In previous generations, it is possible that there may have been a major element of self-hate which took root over time as a result of European ideals of beauty that had the black community believing that black features were somehow inferior. This made many women opt for relaxers as there was the conception that straight hair was more “aesthetically appealing” and “hygienic”. Strange, I know!
However, in current generations, girls from a young age relax their hair because it is the way things are done. Your mum’s hair is relaxed, your sister’s hair is relaxed so it follows that you will relax yours too right? Most however, opt for relaxers because they feel it will make their hair more manageable.
Let me pose a question: if relaxing hair was a sign of self hate then how do we explain all those African women who relax their hair? I am talking here of the women who live in African countries where more than 90% of the population is black.
There aren’t many white women with straight locks to envy and want to emulate. Television does not play that much of a part either particularly in rural areas of Africa where electricity is not common and they are not exposed to the same level of media as those in the United States. So why do they relax their hair? The answer is simple. For the same reason that brunettes want to be blonde. For the same reasons that we paint our nails, put on lipstick, wear jewelry and even braid our hair. Because it makes us look different and feel different and we think it will enrich our lives somehow. It’s just the human urge to try new things and experiences.
Relaxing your hair is only a problem when you are not doing it for the right reasons. If you are caving in to pressure from work to look ‘presentable’ or to fit in with a perceived image of European beauty then you have a problem!
Let’s be honest here. We, the black community are the ones who have made an issue out of the differences between relaxed hair and natural hair. When a white woman gets a curly perm, she’ll probably get positive comments about her new hairstyle. Similarly when a white woman with naturally curly hair gets it straightened, nobody will accuse her of hating herself.
No such luck for a black woman, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. After all, how many other races call the hair that grows out their scalps anything other than natural? By drawing the battle lines, we have created the problem.
Being natural is also nothing to be particularly proud of. It makes as much sense as being proud of having 10 fingers. Its not an achievement, it just IS. For better or worse, we need to stop being up in arms over what ought to be seen as nothing more than a way to wear your hair.
Just like natural hair is just a hairstyle, we need to understand that relaxed hair is also a hairstyle which does not translate to self-hatred if you choose to wear it that way. Girl, live and let live.
sorry but your statement about african women is not accurate. African women are indeed influenced by western standards of beauty because they DO have televisions and they see white women on TV all the time. And for those in rural areas without electricity , many of them are not relaxed and those who are , are influenced by the women that come from the city. The demand creates an offer and relaxers are sold left and right in many areas of Africa. So by some type of domino effect western standards of beauty do end up influencing the remote areas also.
I see you read our thread on BHM but you aren't totally impartial, some points were made as to why some women think relaxing is a sign of self hate that you left out of your article.
Ok America! Understand this. I wore an afro for ten years, and loved it. I wanted a change recently and decided to
flat iron. I did not want to have heat damage so I relaxed last year. I miss my fro, so I recently bc. Bottom line,
us black women are not self hating humans. We should be allowed to wear our hair any damn way we choose,
w/o idiots assuming we are trying to be white. Hell, most of the world has straight hair, not just whites! Our first
lady, is intellegent, educated, and currently wears her hair straight. Who gives a darn! Stop reading more into how
black women wear our hair. We do not give a darn about you and your hair. Please leave ours alone! And woe to the
fool that says anything to me about my hair choices.
The Real Person!
Lol!
R-i-g-h-t ON !!!!…….As We used to say in the DAY. Right ON!
I wanted to say this too. African women are highly influenced, and almost no one has natural hair. Hair care is judged by how you manage your weaves, not your real hair.
The Real Person!
I left out the bit about why some women think relaxing is a sign of self hate on purpose because there is no universal reason why people relax their hair. When I relaxed mine all those years ago it was simply because I wanted something different and nothing else. I cannot speak for everyone but relaxing is only a sign of self hate depending on the reason one does it eg, to fit in with caucasian friends or whatever. In truth however, it's impossible for any black woman (or man) to be totally impartial on the subject. Relaxing or not relaxing is always going to be a controversial issue.
I do agree with the response… There is often a lot of self hate involved in straightening the hair and often the women believing in straight hair are not even conscious of it. When a black woman straighten the hair of a 3 year old lil girl, i believe that no excuse she would come up with will make me see anything else than a troubled person in total disconnect with her origins, and totally lacking self respect for her color. No excuse in the world… I accept straight hair Only if a woman is confident with her natural hair, and does not utter stereotypical degrading comments about natural hair…. Other than that anything else would tell me that I am facing a troubled black woman with deep identity issues.
"Sorry" is also right about the third world, the same self hatred exist there about hair type and skin complexion… Traveling and watching more afrocentric content would enlight us on a lot of misconceptions we have abut Blacks around the world… Colonizations has crreated a worldwide Black mess, education is important to reverse the miseducation and self hatred ongoing process created and perfected centuries ago…
Before you ask, I'm Cameroonian and lived there for most of my life. You say "in current generations young girls relax their hair because it is the way things are done". First of all, young girls do not relax their hair- their mothers/guardians do, and why? Because it makes it "easier" for them to deal with that little girl's hair. Who wants to comb out nappy hair for hours on end anyway? Girls as young as 3 years old (from what I know) will get their hair relaxed, and even though they hate the sensation of a burning scalp, it is preferable to not having "good" hair like all the other little girls at school.
Black women hold a very unique place in American society. I don't think many other black women would disagree with me on my assessment that we are generally the lowest on the "totem pole". I believe, that in America, Black people as a whole have generally been encouraged by society to embrace self-loathing. It has been encouraged to separate ourselves from our unique culture, language, food, etc. On top of that, we're women stuck in a fairly staunch patriarchal society. It seems that the only way we win is to blend in and quit our "whining".
Now, here's where I get into the hair argument. What I hope every Black woman strives to achieve, and what I want us all to achieve is healthy hair, no matter the style. However, you CANNOT say, and it is in my honest opinion, disrespectful of some of our sisters to say, that going natural is not a political statement. If you had written instead that it seems a little ridiculous for there to be such an uproar whenever a Black woman announces that she is going to revert to the way her hair was when she was born, then yes, I would have agreed with you and probably taken more kindly to your article. But when you say in this day and age that going natural is about as remarkable as putting one's hair into a ponytail, you are denying the women that do so the respect they deserve for daring society to "deal" with them, as they are, without blending in to make others feel comfortable. It is hard to deny that silky, manageable hair is widely desired in our society. I do not fault the Black women who genuinely want to relax their hair for a new look. I think that it is perfectly fine. However, it is SO rare to find a Black woman who wants to straighten her hair SOLELY because it is a new look, and not because it is a way to finally have the hair of her dreams, i.e. silky, glossy, straight, straight, straight. It is the attitude in which they do this that is so damaging to ALL Black women, especially the other women who may choose not to partake in it.
Bottom line: If some Black women want to rid themselves of their “nappy” hair, fine. It is absolutely their prerogative. But DO NOT take away from the courageousness of other women who choose to go natural by deeming it “just another hairstyle”. Yeah, it’s the hair we’re born with- it doesn’t seem like it should be such a big deal. However, as long as this country is afflicted with the notion of the perfection of Euro-centric beauty, “going natural” will continue to be a political statement. Don’t get it twisted.
AMEN my sister! AMEN!! PREACH!!! I don’t think she gets it at all. And you can call me a natural hair nazi all you want BlackHairInformation blogger… but whether you like it or not being natural is something to be very proud of!!!! I think that because we are persuaded and made to feel that in our natural state we are not looked at as attractive because of our hair, hips and lips we succumb to westernizing ourselves… now look who’s trying to plump filler in their lips and hips! HA! Don’t tell me we aren’t a political, socio-economical, statement! WAKE UP!
This is interesting but so far fetched!!!I don’t understand how wearing your hair in it’s natural state can cause someone to respect you more or less…Our counterparts already deal with us and have to accept us as we are rather our hair is straight or natural,simply by the color of our skin!!! Another thing I don’t understand is why such a commotion is made about being natural…why do you need support groups and encouragement…why don’t just be natural..why you gotta try to convince people to be natural..sounds like to me your struggling with it but don’t want it to be known!!
The Real Person!
Anita, clearly you take the same view in my argument but have come to a different conclusion. When I speak of rural women in African countries I go by the ones I have seen with my own eyes and not some guesswork. The younger generations do relax their hair, not every single one of them of course. That would be a generilization which is wrong. Saying that they relax their hair so that they can finally have the silky hair of their dreams is a bit far fetched. They are not exposed to western standards as much as a city girl! In any event, the reason I had my hair relaxed was because it was different from my natural hair, that's all.
I am also natural now because I my hair is stronger natural and I am currently enjoying it curly, anyway I digress. What I am trying to say is that if a person has chosen a hairstyle soley to make a point (political or otherwise), then there's something wrong with the picture! I sounds to me like rebellion and rebels must surely grow up at some point and choose to remain natural because they enjoy having their hair that way or relax it when they realize that not many people were paying attention to the little drama they created themselves.
By some of the responses I have received to this article, it seems to prove my point that we are the ones who have created the problem by drawing the battle lines on the ground. To me it just shows a subcouscoius guilt ladies have in relaxing their hair which brings on the underserved pride for going natural.
My mother in law has always worn her hair natural, she says she prefers to 'wear it as God gave it to her'. It couldn't get any simper, no uneccesary pride at being natural or looking down on ladies who choose to relax. If only everyone could see things as simply.
black women who wear their hair natural for me not only looks much more healthy and tend to have a far more varied style than the stright,stright stright plastic greasy unnatural or after the burnout yamout heres a wig for your woes a women that knows her self will learn about hair care and not hair mis management check out the glossy mag on offer to black women so called hair care most black women saloons do not do hair care very few cause they are using products that are manufactured by white companys for a fast buck of the backs of black women who has an image issue's that has been programmed by the media via the african holocust mindset .burning a three year olds hair and not trying to instill her self beauty is tatamount to abuse of image self worth and a disregard of self love and sound education, finance,and health.
No one is checking black women's hair but black folk! Let's stop the hating! I for one agree with the Author Alma,
it is just a hairstyle. Let's say you are natural, but straighten all the time. You are still altering your original hair texture,
whether it is straighter when wet (chemically treated) or not. I agree every woman should know their original hair texture,
but come on "selling out." I have a white friend who tans weekly, perms her hair, and has not seen her original hair color
in years. Yet, no one calls her anything but natural. Let a black woman perm without doing anything else and she is trying
to be white. My mother in law rocked a fro for years and is now relaxed in a short style. She was a great women with an
afro, and she is still a great woman with a relaxer. Black people need to stop letting superficial things divide us. We need
to focus on the alarming murder rate in our communities. I have never seen a relaxed female doing a drive-by! Move on
folks, and concentrate on the important things in life!
The Real Person!
Ha! You got my point of view spot on!
AMEN! Best comment so far. I have went from natural to relaxed and back and forth again. Black females need to grab on to reality and hold on tight. It is a simple change in appearance. The same people talking about "Be black be natural" I dont see them walking around in moo moos with baskets balanced on their heads. Get over yourselves. Weomen go natural for different reasons and relaxed for their own reasons. Mind your business aslong as you are striving for healthy hair that is the bottom line. SHUT UP! Go to college or something. Gosh!
THIS COMMENT WINS. Completely eloquent and accurate
I totally agree with you!
Okay, I know I'm a little late with this article but it was definitely a good read. @Cournita, I couldn't agree more. I am currently natural, almost 2 years. AND I'm getting ready to go back to relax hair because I want a cute short crop hairstyle. My lifestyle at the moment doesn't allow for the time it takes to manage and style natural hair. Like India Arie sang, " I am not my hair" and that goes for both spectrums. Love me with natural and love me relaxed. Get to know me, not how I were my hair, if my lifestyle says I'm a sellout, then call me one but not because I choose to relax my hair. Yes, I agree that natural hair is healthier for your scalp because I witnessed it for myself. As Cournita said, there are more pertinent issues to concentrate on than each other's hair and who that woman is because she chose to be relaxed or natural. There are plenty of issues in our communities that can be addressed and attended to besides black women's hair.
The Real Person!
I know right? We have countless other issues and we shouldnt have the time to hate on each other because of our hair!
First things first, we are ALL capable of perversion. By that I mean we all have been effected by the diaspora, slavery, Jim Crow, and colonialism. Every Black African person! We have all partaken in some form of self hatred due to being Black. You can say you haven't but you're lying to yourself. I say that in reference to the authors consistent statement that she only relaxed her hair for a new look.
The other issue is health. I am a natural hair stylist doing natural hair for over 12 years. I was born and raised in Africa and in the US. I see women everyday in my salon who have sickly scalps from chemical damage, broken and thinning hair from relaxing for a decade or more. I get referrals from dermatologists who tell them YOU CANNOT RELAX ANYMORE! They come to me reluctantly to save what they have left! Black women are loosing their hair at alarming rates and it's not older women going through menopause anymore. My clients are younger and younger. 21-35 year olds. These women have known that their hair was being eaten away, but continued to relax. WHY would you put a chemical directly on your scalp that has pores and is very close to your brain, when stylists wear GLOVES when applying it to protect their hands???!! Yes it's true that we are surrounded by harsh chemicals everyday, but it's your choice whether you want to continue damaging your skin and scalp in order to have a "New Style" or whether you have the self control to remove those toxins from your body just like it's up to you whether you use chemical laundry detergent or a more natural version. 25 years from now the effects of relaxing your for decades upon decades will come to light and I believe that Black women will STILL continue to use them!! What does that really say about us?
India Arie is right, You are not your hair, but whatever hair you do have should be HEALTHY. Would you put relaxer on you face and body? Of course not so why the hell would you put it on your scalp which is ALSO YOUR SKIN? These are the basic questions that I try to get people to understand and answer. If the author really felt that relaxed or natural she's just changing her hair then she wouldn't have been compelled to write this article in the manner in which she did. Black men and women would had to be living in a society where the White Euro-centric image wasn't the epitome of beauty, colonization, slavery, Jim crow, and other race based injustices never existed, our mothers, aunts and other female figures did not relax their hair systematically, and we saw consistent positive images of our people, in order to truly say, "Mommy I wanna relax my hair today because I just want to try something new" It's impossible! That's like living in a post 9/11 world and saying that it has no effect on you or those to come in the future.
You spoke on rural Africa. Please remember that Colonialists touched every part of Africa including rural Africa. Why do you think that in a remote village in Burkina Faso a family would have a worn and torn picture of a white Jesus hanging on the wall?!!? African women have been adorning and changing up their hair styles for centuries without trying to emulate caucasian hair. Straightening our hair came directly out of trying to embrace a White ideal. Christianity and Islam effected the ways that Africans viewed themselves. It doesn't take much when your oppressor is telling you that what you are and what you believe is not good enough, you eventually start to believe it.
Why do tons of African women use skin lightening creams? Because they want another look? They wanna go light for the summer?? C'mon people putting a caustic chemical on your hair is NOT SMART! I don't care if your hair is bouncing, behaving, and "healthy" now, you're still applying the same ingredient that's in a bottle of NAIR to your scalp! the words "Healthy" and "Chemicals relaxers" are NOT synonymous
I don't want to see you in my chair begging me to help you disguise the bald spot that will not grow back.
The Real Person!
As difficult as it is for you to believe, when I relaxed my hair it WAS just for a new hairstyle, no different than when I wanted cornrows or braids. When you are 13 years old you don't really understand the concept of permanence and it would not have registered that I was making a permanent change to my hair. To be honest, nor would I have cared at the time. I just want to be the voice of reason here, why are we hating on ladies that choose to relax their hair? I think some of this self-hate sterotypes you put out are a bit flawed particularly in rural africa. Even if they watch caucasians on tv and are trying to emulate them on some level with their hair it does not explain everything that has changed in their part of the world. Many of them eat white bread and unnatural fats like vegetable oil etc. Why do they do this when it is not the food that their ancestors ate? Because it is convenient for them at that particualr point in time.
I argue that some women choose to relax because it is convenient and not because of self-hatred!
Now im gonna sit here and disagree with everything(almost) you said!!!..
1)I have been a licensed stylist for over 15 years and my clients are relaxed and have healthy hair..If you know what you are doing when you apply the relaxer, and the client keeps it up,, you won’t have damage…look around you. There are many people who didn’t go natural and there hair is healthy…Actually being natural can be harmful too because all the darn heat you gotta use to straightened your hair out but we not gonna talk about that…lol…plus you have to really moisturize natural hair bc the cuticle is closed and its hard for anything to penetrate to get in there!
2)I don’t hate myself bc im relaxed..thats the moist ignorant thing I ever heard!..You might want to question your love for you race is your discriminating against people that are relaxed..thats a form of hating your race!! My ancestors are powerful and great women and I respect them for all they have done!…I RESPECT THEM FOR WHAT THEY ENDURED AND WHAT THEY DID, NOT BC OF HOW THEY WORE THERE HAIR!!..LOL…REDICULOUS!!..I am strong and confident straight or kinky or curly or whatever terminology you wanna use!
3) if your child ask for ice cream bc they see other kids with ice cream,, you can either give it to them or explain your reason for not giving it to them or why don’t have it…Its called a maturation process!!..You cant tell me you that insulted because a child wanted hair like their friend..they want a lot of things they see other people want…that is called human nature!!!
4)LETS KEEP IT REAL!! ALL THIS TALK ABOUT NATURAL HAIR IS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY!!! It is clearly economical..all this came about , the movie with chris rock and nia long good hair brought your hair to attention bc of money!!! they were paid to do a job which is create a dislike of relaxers so you can be natural..while your contemplating being natural, they got a ship load of product to sell you for just your hair type…don’t you feel special!!..Now you got so many products you don’t know what to do with them..im sure spent a whole lotta money too!…now you got all these natural shops that haven’t even been trained in cosmetology but they can tell you what to do with your hair..yea ok…I see nia still got her relaxer and chris rock wife too..shucks his daughters probably relaxed by now too!..
5) We have got to stop allowing people and society to divide and conqueror us!!..being one or the other doesn’t make you better more educated pro black or any other of that political crap…and yall at these lil natural hair shows and private home meetings for your support group of natural hair movement as you put it needs to be given a rest…why not tell them you got some product you want to sell them and be done with it!! im just being honest!!..all these are marketing tactics to get you to by their crap..that half the time don’t even work, now they got you in the kitchen mixin up natural stuff bc you know it didn’t work but you too ashame to admit it..If you fell victim,, its ok,, you can always change the course.
AND NO IM NOT BITTER IM JUST TIRED OF THE GAMES THAT ARE BEING PLAYED!!THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH NATURAL HAIR AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH STRAIGHT HAIR!! wake up people..these people just want your money!!!
Wow!…. Some women THINK it's a conscious choice. They don't realize (or won't realize) the sub-conscious impact that imperialism, slavery, ect.. have had on them even decades and generations later. You can tell yourself all you like that you were not effected by those things at the age of 13, but unless you were living on an isolated island or in a bubble, you're lying to yourself. Anyone who really thinks that they can detach themselves from those roots that have been embedded in our psyche (as well as our parents and grand parents who pass them on) need to read "YURUGU" by Marimba Ani, and look really hard within themselves. Look beyond your surface and really understand. It takes a strong person to be able to really delve into those complexities. For most people it's easier to just believe the hype. Ignorance is bliss for most….
Also, I am not HATING on anybody! Hatred stems from envy and jealousy. I'm a natural hair stylist, The clients that I see with relaxers have no elasticity to their strands, broken ends and itchy irritated scalps! Why would I hate on them Hun? I want my clients to have the healthiest hair possible! Stop looking at it from such a light-weight and two-demensional perspective because when you really get to the meat of it, Relaxing your hair = damaged CHEMICALLY UNHEALTHY HAIR! Plain and simple. Whether you think you had a epiphany to one day get a relaxer, or you were forced to, or whatever your motivation was, YOU ARE STILL SLOWLY KILLING YOUR HAIR AND SCALP! Now How does that message get lost in translation??! If you want women to feel like relaxing their hair is OK because it's "Their choice" then you're leading your readers down the wrong path. I am obligated as a natural hair stylist to provide women and men with the healthiest options possible and I would NEVER recommend that ANYONE put sodium hydroxide on there scalp. It's not about HATiING it's about HEALTH AND HELPING. I've seen countless women with irreparable damage crying to me because of the "CHOICE" that they've made for years. Stick to the facts. It's a fact that Chemical straighteners were used by Black Men and women to conceal the kinky hair they were ashamed of. It's a fact, the FDA lists hair straighteners and hair dyes among its top consumer complaint areas. It's a FACT More and more Black women are loosing the battle with relaxers and loosing their hair! SO for you to make reckless statements that lead women to think that it's OK to apply Sodium Hydroxide to your scalp whenever you want a "NEW LOOK" is leading them down the path to a dermatologists office in the future, or to a stylist like myself to fix the mess they've created. If you worried less about people HATING on those who wear relaxers and more on relaxer wearers LOVING their hair enough to be vigilant and stay chemical free, then articles like yours would be more progressive.
Please, don't get it twisted I know you went natural because you're hair is healthier and that is the case for everyone. It's as simply as 123, Chemicals lead to damaged hair and scalp. You may not see it today, but one day it will negatively effect one's hair.
Also, have you ever lived in Africa? Since you feel my views are flawed and you want me to EXPLAIN some reasons for changes in rural Africa, I will. I grew up in Liberia. At that time everyone ate red rice which was rice locally grown by farmers there. It was hearty, healthy and very much a staple. In the 70's Uncle Ben's Quick rice was introduced by America, and surely because it was AMERICAN, it had to be better! They didn't want the local rice anymore. It was uncivilized! Civilized people ate Uncle Ben's even though it cost more and has basically no nutritional value AT ALL! Now tell me, is that not SELF HATE? Who tells us that Red rice is what the poor peasants eat when it was good enough before? How did we get those ideas? It is SO much BIGGER than just convenience Hun… Imported French bread and English tea are much more expensive than local items, but they are attached to having higher status and class Liberians didn't just make an unbiased decision to buy Uncle Ben's because they liked the taste, It was embedded that the foreign product was better than what they themselves could ever make. Just like the feeling that someone else's hair texture is better, easier, shinier, longer, than their own hair! Is that not SELF HATRED? the seeds have been planted and even though you can't see the point of origin through the thicket does not mean that it's not there. Why can't you understand this???? Why do African people lighten their skin? Is that convenient too????? Or is that self hatred???? They MUST just want to switch up their look again like you, right??
Please… Stop the Madness and open at least one eye….
The Real Person!
I cannot in good conscience say that I believe that relaxers are slowly killing ladies hair because I have seen ladies who have been relaxing for over 30 years and don't have the thinning edges and bald spots that you speak of. In actual fact if asked directly I do tell people that I believe that natural hair is 'healthier' than relaxed hair because of the added strength, elasticity and versitility. I win over more converts by telling them this rather than if I was telling them that they are self-hating by using relaxers.
In the meantime, I do accept that the great majority of women choose to relax their hair but don't want to be seen as lepers for choosing to wear their hair straight. Maybe what we should be doing is campaigning for gentler relaxers that don't burn the scalp to be standard on the market? I don't know, all I know is sadly in spite of everything women will continue to relax their hair.
In actual fact I have lived in Africa, my grandmother still lives there and I think the most likely scenario for the why people choose to buy white bread is because it saves them from making it themselves!
Another thing….Think about relaxing one's hair as if it were akin to smoking cigarettes. Everyone knows the risks of inhaling tobacco for a long period of time, it's right on the package. Just like people know what sodium Hydroxide can do to your scalp and hair because you feel the burning sensation when you get a touch up and a lot of women develop scabs afterwards! Ok, so if a teenager grew up in a environment where her mother, aunts, sisters, grandmother, teachers, church goers, movie actresses, models in magazines, tv stars and classmates smoked, she wouldn't have to make a CHOICE to gladly pick up a cigarette and smoke because i would be expected at some point and practically normal! Even if GrandMa had lung cancer, and others started to deteriorate from smoking, It's all around her! She would have to make a choice NOT to smoke! It's the same principal when we are bombarded with relaxer laden images and most of the Black women we come in contact with have relaxers, wigs, weaves, or some euro straight style. It's not a choice it's more of a right of passage! We make the choice to go AGAINST that and go natural. Grown women that come to me ready to go natural don't even know how to comb their natural hair! They don't know how to care for it, what products to use, NOTHING! It's like teaching them a whole new language! Nobody teaches young ladies to care for and LEARN how to do their own natural hair FIRST! They know know to wrap roll and flat iron though…When their relaxed hair starts falling out they have to learn the basics like what's a Loc is and what makes it different from a braid! I don't feel like you are making a choice when your mother gets your hair relaxed before you're 18 and you continually wear it relaxed well until adulthood before going natural again. You don't know anything about your hair at that time. Let's teach our girls to be just as fluent in natural hair care. I mean, they should know what products work for their hair, what tools to use, they should be able to twist their own hair, detangle their own hair, and style their own hair. How about letting them understand all those things before even ENTERTAINING the thought of a relaxer instead of the other way around….
I'm just saying….
The Real Person!
There you go, you kinda proved what I was trying to say with the smoking analogy. They smoke because its practically normal until they realize that it is not good for them and they quit. In my case, relaxing your hair was a rite of passage, everyone did it, and when I was finally allowed to relax nobody told me about the dangers, or maybe they did but I was 13 and determined so I didn't care! It wasn't a question of self hate. In time I came to hear and absorb the dangers of relaxing my hair and yet I continued to do so year after year. It wasn't until I heard women preach the BENEFITS of natural hair that I finally listened and decided to go natural.
However I lets be honest, some ladies will NEVER go natural so all I can do is help them get throught the experience with as little damage as possible. I'm a proponent of texlaxing/texturizing over relaxing one's hair to avoid scalp burns and leave some strength and elasticity in the hair. They get a taste for their hair in an 'almost natural' state and hopefully eventually decide to go all the way natural.
In the meantime, relaxed ladies believe that their relaxed locks are just a hairstyle, they are not selling out and I agree with that because it's truly what I believe having been one of them in the past. I would not congratulate somebody for choosing NOT to get a tatoo nor will I hire a mariachi band if someone decides to go natural, they are not making a statement with their hair, they are simply leaving things as they should be.
Well I love my hair wether it is relaxed or natural. BTW even though it is almost impossible to do, relaxer isnt suppose to go on your scalp anyway. It is only for your new growth, so if it is being applied correctly, then there shouldnt be many worries. If you know how to properly take care of your hair, soes it really matter? I wish a female would come tell me Im a sell out because I relaxed my hair… ALMA keep doing what you do. You have love from me all the way from Baghdad Iraq! MUAH!!!!!
The Real Person!
Thanks girl!
To piggy back on Alma's and Just So you know's comments:
Contemplate this: The only country in Africa not to be colonized by Europeans is Ethiopia. Do ya research on how they wear their hair. You'll see that relaxers and weave are not as common. Men do not wear as many fades and women may straighten their hair, but will wear their natural texture interchangeably. On the other hand, perms and weaves are the norm in many other countries that have experienced colonialism and slavery around the world and the women who get them often become dependent on their hair style in order to feel attractive. I doubt this is a coincidence.
I don't believe that all women who relax are self hating. Many of them are mis-educated on how to style and manage their natural hair and sometimes its just easier to go with what you know. As a natural, I give and receive I from women with all types of hair styles. Hey, everything ain't for everybody all the time.
However, there are some women, even myself at some point, who straightened because they feel their texture is inferior. They want to be able to flip their hair over their shoulder, have that bounce and that shine. If you know enough black women, you know of at least a few who do this.
Go on sites like nappturaly.com, tytecurl.com and goingnatural.com and read some hair stories. You'll see that many who are now natural also had loathed their texture at some point. They eventually grew tired of the relaxers or weaves but for a long time didn't know what else to do and initially thought natural hair would cost them job opportunities, love interests and cause negative comments to come their way. Trust, It takes some audacity to go natural. For me its not a political statement, but a lifestyle choice that involved a lot more thought and research than just your average "style".
The Real Person!
I know what you mean about Ethiopians, my mum is half Ethiopian and I agree that it's just a question of miseducation on how deal with our hair that causes the problems. The ladies I know who loathe their texture hate it because it is dry and wiry but try telling them that afro hair doesn't have to be like that, that you can be natural with soft well moistuized hair. They just laugh and tell me that maybe mine's like that but theirs can never be!
it dosent matter if black women have been influence to wear straight hair. it is still a choice.if i try to influence a person to do something and if they choose to do it or not it still a choice. even though i was relaxed i didnt have the negative mentality towards natural hair most relax women have.so was i still a selfhater? i love my hair regardless how i choose to wear it. some people have a habit of putting their issues on others. we all have different experience and are different indivduals so how can u say all women relax because of selfhate.u have to know the individual mentialty. some women do it for a style while some have deep issues.i do belive as long as we are expose to straight hair it will always be an option. the greater exposer to natural hair the more it will be an option.if u relax because u cant mantain natural hair, thats lack of knowledge not self hate.women relax for multiple reason not just self hate. why is that so hard to believe?
The Real Person!
Aint that the truth. I find that it's the people who had deep issues themselves when they relaxed that imagine that all other women relax for the same reasons they did. It must be impossible for them to imagine a woman wanting straight hair just because . . .
I'm so glad I ran across this, as late as I may be, I feel the exact same way. I call those women Natural Hair Nazis. I don't understand why can't getting a relaxer just be a choice. Like anything else that's a choice…some of these ladies rant and rave about how much damage you are doing to your hair by using chemicals, but these same women drink like a fish, smoke, and any other thing that could be looked at as unhealthy. Don't point your natural finger at me because I've chosen to get a relaxer, but your liver is tore up because you can't put the patron down.
The Real Person!
lol at this!
You are SO right. Many natural ladies can give you a complete run-down of all the chemicals in a relaxer, and how they can supposedly kill you, but at the same time they are using many other products that also have questionable ingredients. Chemicals found in perfumes, deodorants, soaps and toothpaste have been reported to have serious adverse effects, but no one has any issue with those products. What some people fail to consider is that many of the dangers associated with relaxer chemicals usually occur from exposure to high doses. The concentrations that are used in health and beauty products are not enough to cause serious harm, unless an individual is particularly sensitive to a chemical. Then there's also the fact that some chemicals can be made in industrial grades, food grades and medical grades. Phosphoric acid, for example, is a common rust remover, but its food grade version is used in many colas and its medical grade is used by dentists to soften tooth enamel before drilling. Naturals LOVE to tell you how sodium hydroxide (lye) is used as drain or engine cleaner, yet have NO idea that it is also used to process chocolate, solidify ice cream, and it has many other food processing uses. Of course a chemical-free body is more healthy, but some people act as though relaxers will cause you to spontaneously combust, or that there is a 100% chance that you will die of some terminal disease if you use them (even though there are many relaxed ladies who are so old they may have gotten their first relaxer from Madame CJ Walker herself, LOL). If there were a DIRECT link between these products and permanent bodily harm, then someone would be able to provide sound medical documentation to say this, instead of just saying what each chemical can do in general (even though they have no idea of how much of each chemical is even being consumed, or if those amounts are any more toxic than other household products). And before anyone says that the ubiquitous "they" are hiding this information just to harm black people, there are other races of people who relax their hair and there are black doctors who should be able to provide the info — if it were true. Those who are burning and maiming themselves with chemical products are either misusing them, or as stated earlier they have some type of sensitivity. I don't believe in vilifying an entire class of products — and the people who use them — for the sole purpose of justifying one's personal choices or to scare people into doing what you do. And I really don't see how choosing to go natural because you were scared into it by some wanna-be doctors and chemists in natural blogs is any better than relaxing your hair out of self hate. Either way, your choices are being forced by someone else.
The Real Person!
I burst out laughing at 'spontaneously combust' but I hear you girl. Lye is even used to give pretzels that lovely shade of brown without burning the inside! I bet you plenty of naturals are munching on them!!
I don't get it. I am just deciding to transition to the natural world after 23 years of being relaxed. My dad thought it would be a good idea for my sister and I to get a relaxer. I was only 6. So this was my "norm" nearly all my life. Growing up in a household where my dad wouldn't allow me to have a white babydoll, I doubt very seriously that he suggested a relaxer so I could conform to the European world. More than likely it was because he watched my mom take ALL day to comb me and my sister's hair and figured relaxing would be more convenient. It is totally unfair to assume that because a lady chooses to wear her hair straight that she's self hating.
Thanks for writing this, Alma. Finally someone who sees this issue much like myself.
The Real Person!
Thanks for your comment! It's the same in my household. My hubby won't let our daughter play with white dolls and yet he recently asked me to texturize his hair. His hair is quite long and he hated having it combed and braided coz it would tangle and hurt his sensitive scalp. Is he trying to be white too or is just using a mod con that is the relaxer?!!
I'd also like to know… if a black woman gets a relaxer, then covers her hair in gel and freezes it into some outlandish "urban" style that no self respecting white OR black person would ever want to wear, are they also "trying to be white"? What about a black woman with long straight weave that's blue and green? I'm just trying to get a handle on this self hate thing, since people want to throw the term around so freely. Is there a rule book on it?
You can love one thing without bashing the next. This is so extra.
Doing the same thing they’re telling us not to do. Hypocrites!!
Team Madame C.J. Walker!
Well I would assume they think we r bashing them for perms. I think I’ve seen a photo similar to this denouncing perms. We all should b careful. For to each it’s own.
Why all this? we should instead appreciate the different ways in which we can wear our hair…as far as it’s healthy it’s ok !!
I love my natural hair <3 and I don't bash relaxed hair. I used to have relaxed hair. To each their own.
Yes Sandra this whole perm vs relaxer is silly! It’s hair! Not world dominance lol.
This needs to stop! I have relaxed hair and can appreciate women who are transitioning and have natural hair.. The important thing we are all trying to achieve is healthy longer hair.. Stop the hate
Thanku for this post Stacy. Women wear hairstyles by choice. The hateful remarks are so gross. If your hairstylist know about hair and seeks knowledge about hair products relaxed can be healthy.
exactly why I don’t give a xxx
We can coexist. I do me and you do you. Without the hate. Simple.
This is ignorant and this post was not needed , as by posting this is gives a negative and dissociative view towards Afro hair.
What we need to educate ourselves on is first pride in our natural organic state , but more importantly , the way that these corrosive chemicals contribute to CANCER ! and FIBROIDS in black women !! The chemicals in these products are HIGHLY toxic ! So before we get all caught in the straight hair epidemic we should bear in mind that relaxer damages MANY of us psychologically annnnndd physically ! Yet we are too blind to see it !!
It’s dangerous but it’s their choice….. Just like smoking and drinking are dangerous but people still choose to do it.
Thank you very much. As a black woman with naturally long hair (it’s been down to my waist several times..I keep it to mid back length now), I have to relax my hair for manageability. I’ve been called a sell out so many times.. ~Long hair, don’t care~
To each their own! I love natural looks and relaxed looks. I just do natural cause I like it on me! 🙂 we are all beautiful!
Thank you, some naturals make you feel like you’re committing a crime
Women always seem to form a division over foolishness. This natural hair thing is as hateful as the Lightskin & Darkskin issues. Its a dayum shame we can’t allow each other to choose whatever hairstyle works for US. Instead of finding ways to build with each other we settle for destruction over nothing. I asked one girl the other day “How are you such a Natural Black woman when everything else on you is European” You are designer this and that from head to toe, but you represent Natural black women & the movement back to your roots simply because your hair is in a fro??? Give em something to think about when they come @ you wrong.
To each her own!!!
Its your hair do what makes you happy!
Oh, boy, I thought this was just for naturals? 🙁
REALLY???!!!! This is some bullshit. DarkSkinned vs Lightskinned, Long hair vs. Short hair, South side Vs. West side (Chicago thang), Natural vs Chemically Relaxed…WHEN! WHEN will it end??? We are always, ALWAYS AGAINST and at war with our OWN SELVES!!!! #WILLIELYNCH
Wow…I question who created this…yet another senseless issue to separate our race…”Just a hairstyle” really?? I question anything that starts off “just a…” it’s more to it than that…we all have choices but it’s easier to choose when we’re aware of all of the facts and ramifications (if any) of the situation…#chooseWisely
I’ve been relaxed all my life just transitioned to natural I love both on me. Dont see why you should be judged for either way.
Relaxed or natural. We can all unite as women.
Do you boo… I had relaxed hair and I loved it but when I went to natural hair I love it more… If you love ur relaxer, well done!!!!
If everybody just worry about themselves & stop putting people down for THEIR CHOICES we would be just fine. My choice is to be natural but it’s my choice not the law of the land…… Really ladies.
What’s with this hair war!?! The Bloods and Crips all over again. What’s next drive by texturizing?? If we all walked around looking the same with the same hair what kind of boring world would this be. GET OVER IT ALREADY!!
This is just another way to divide women and some fall for it. it’s just hair smh
Sheesh! So unnecessary. People need to do whatever makes them happy and stop worrying about the rest. Relaxed, natural, weave, braids, whatever! What someone else does to their hair is their business. This separation mess has got to stop. We are truly our own worst enemy.
It’s funny how when it’s about a relaxer the natural nazis come out full throttle…..lmao…..but when when the I’m happy and nappy post comes out y’all all for it…..some of y’all chicks are Hippocrates….. Sadly you don’t see men talking ish cause one has a fade and one has a Afro….black women need to step it up….this is sad….relaxed or nat…..do YOU!!
It’s My hair and I do with it what I want. But some natural hair wearing ladies try to make you feel guilty for relaxing your hair…it’s my choice and I choose relaxed!#mizani
In order for someone to love there relaxed hair….they need a “no fro zone” sign? That’s divisive….we need to do better in no longer promoting divisions amongst ourselves. What is it to me if another woman chemically treats her hair? My reasons for doing the opposite are my reasons….they do not devalue another woman’s choice.
Oh the natural nazis are going in…..lmaoooooo yall dont realize that just cause you natural dont make you conscious! Some of yall Be wearing color,lashes,pounds of makeup and eating pork by the pound hollering natural….lmaooooooooo reading some of these post have me holding myself and rocking like Miss Sophia in the color purple…..lawd…..lol
I personally believe that everyone has the right to do what they want with their hair. But people do not know how to uplift themselves without putting others down, whether they are natural or relaxed. I say do what you are comfortable with!
Sounds like another topic aimed towards dividing us.
The only thing I don’t like is when girls who are relaxed say: Girl I can’t go natural, my hair is too nappy for all that. Then I hit them with the side eye
I have to disagree with you just a bit because even the healthiest people that are chemical free can still get cancer and fibroids…..a lot of cancers are not triggered by anything……
Everyone can make their own decisions. Do we really need any other reasons to be separated? Sheesh. Light vs dark. Now permed vs relaxed. The only people that bring black people down are themselves.
This post is funny! Thanks for the lol
The way you wear your hair is CHOICE. There is no need to bash the next for their OWN hair CHOICE. What ppl SHOULD be doing is educating each other on how to have HEALTHY hair.
Loool yessss
I love your comments!!
LOL @ rocking like Miss Sophia!
I agree 100%
I do too and appreciate it.
agreed 100%
THANKYOU !
There are black races with straight hair
I agree natural is healthy
So true lol
What was the purpose of this post? To provoke diversity? Or to promote HAIR CHOICE? Because when I saw it, I took it as a dagger towards anyone who wore natural hair from women who are relax. & tomorrow there is going to be another post just like except it is going to say I <3 MY HAIR NATURAL, with a woman with relax her in the middle with the red no tolerance sign. Yall are something else. Maybe my execution of what you are trying to say here is wrong. But I think some people love to keep people divided and against each other. & it is a damn shame because it is hair. & not only that, it is my hair. Me or my hair doesn't live for you. So why do you care about what I do, or how I wear my hair. I have an idea. created a sign with natural and relax hair together with a red heart wrapped around all of our hair.
People will ALWAYS have something negative to say. If I shaved my head bald & walked down the street, I guarantee people would point, stare & make comments. I’ ve worn silky straight weaves down my back & I’ve had black women point, stare & comment. I’ve rocked waist length braids over the years and women have gawked & gossiped about it. I’ve even worn my natural hair, half corn rows, half fro, and guess what…people STILL stared & had something to say about it. Diversity is a beautiful part of life. Embrace your hair, whether you choose to grow it, sew it, dye it, twist it, lock it, braid it or shave it! Your hair is your crown of glory: WEAR IT PROUDLY!!!!
Pork??
Black races with straight hair? Hair is not straight and hair is not dead!!!! Fur is straight and fur is dead. There is a big difference that, at times and debates like these, is not mentioned and focused on. The difference between hair and fur. Hair is scientifically dominate and fur is recessive. Hair grows out from the follicles and up towards the sun for nourishment and lif like the trees and flowers; ALLiv. Fur grows DOWN AND OUT, out from the follicles and is dead ONce it pushes through the follicle (maybe because it can’t take the SUN) so it hangs over down to the ground like a withered plant or tree; death. There are black races with NATURE-ALL straight fur and you must overstand that the black women in the slave states and countries tried to emulate the NATURE-ALL straight fur of the europeans and not the NATURE-ALL straight fur of those black races that they may or may not have been introduced to or educated about. Either way it goes black women who change their NATURE-ALL hair into anyother races fur is going to oppose her own/AUN NATURE-ALL BE-YOU-TIYE/beauty. And God forbid that she believes in a GOD and still changes his/her NATURE-ALL hair for anyother’s fur. “Out of your own/AUN NATURE-ALL m9nd=out our image not after our likeness!!!”-Mooky LUV of QUADITY-N-ONe
black races? that doesnt even make sense. theres only one black race and they dont have straight hair, some loose curls yes but not bone straight
On time post.
Its the chemicals that we should be aware of.
Exactly. People should stop taking this topic personally. They must separate the facts from emotions. The fact is that this chemical is bad for the hair no matter how pretty your hairstyle is. That is a fact. How is it a choice to have weak hair and a damaged skulp.
Great article!
Who said relaxing your hair is selling out, who came up with that idea? People have a right to wear their hair however they want. SMH, be yourself. I wore my hair relaxed for 20 years before going natural 2 years ago, I never felt less black with the relaxer in my hair.
Exactly ^^^ 100% correct. I was told by many “naturals” I’m not of black descent anymore.
Who said relaxing your hair is selling out, who came up with that idea? People have a right to wear their hair however they want. SMH, just be yourself. I wore my hair relaxed for 20 years before going natural 2 years ago, I never felt less black with the relaxer in my hair. Go worry about your hair and leave others alone, you’re not paying to for their hair to get done, let people live!
the same people who invented “the natural movement”.
…
Well they’re stupid and don’t represent us who chose to wear our hair in its natural state.
I agree but who said that they didnt have the right to do what they wanted?
I don’t believe this at all but whatevs. Sometimes I think peoole want to be victims.
Someone needs to show this to Essence Online
I am extremely tired of this back and forth and I love the article. What really needs to be said here is some Black women wether natural or straight need to mind there business. Although I don’t see any Black women talking about or insulting each other in public about being relaxed or natural however, I do see it a lot on these sites. I have relaxed hair because I like straight hair and it’s more manageable for me. I’m going to continue using a perm wether you agree or not because it’s my HEAD! Natural women well some not all especially on these site’s need to worry about there on head and stop worrying about the next. Oh and I’m addressing some natural women on here because some of you are so nasty and so rude!
THANK YOU because you just spoke the TRUTH.
Exactly!
I have decided to wear my hair natural… Growing out in a protective style. I joined a natural hair site and I could not believe how rude and opinionated the ladies were. I quickly got off the site. Our hair is beautiful whether it is relaxed or natural. The key is healthy. What is going on where we tear each other down because we wear a relaxer or not. It’s about personal choice and our differences makes us unique and beautiful!
Hahaha, so nasty and so rude, I’ve got to get that on a shirt. And you are so right, people even are shady when people wear weaves or added hair for protection.
A so nasty/so rude shirt only perpetuates stupidity & intensifies conflict.
I was on a natural hair site here on FB and I could not believe the disrespect I was reading amongst some of the women. I decided it to remove myself from the page, because it became more of a site to bully other women.
@Cheryl A lot of those SAME kind of women are on this page. I read one comment on here and the lady asked black hair info why was she posting about perms. I’m like #1 This page is called Black Hair Info not Natural Hair Info or prejudice Hair info. #2 It’s her page. I’m so tired of these women! For example if you go read those comments right now on the actual article they are talking about how relaxed women are ashamed of thereselves and want to acquire a European standard of beauty smdh. I never have hated my natural hair or relaxed hair until now because I’m pregnant my child sucks all the oil out of me and has changed my permed hair texture to look like I’m transitioning. Although I went natural for a year didn’t like it and decided to perm my hair again and it wasn’t because of my hair texture it was the process. Relaxed hair is simple for me to take care of natural is not.
Thank you Rivian, I agree! I still relax my hair for the same reason you do; because it is easier for me. I’m not willing to invest my time into doing my hair everyday. I’m not wiling to put in the work that it takes to maintain and manage natural hair. My head, my choice. Some of these natural hair nazis also used relaxers at one point in their life when natural hair WASN’T in. Were you all called “sellouts” then???
LOVE it. Just because the products says all natural products doesn’t mean it’s true. All of these food industries cutting corners in our food to make extra money you seriously think they haven’t done so with some of the hair product. I’ve been natural and now relaxed again and happy as heck . Many of these “naturals” or so nasty to others and relaxed woman it’s disgusting and a “team”(ridiculous grown woman forming teams) I don’t want to be associated with if it comes with so much hatred towards your own sisters.
Here it is…just do YOU! If you want a relaxer or to be natural, do it! I was relaxed until almost 5 yrs ago. This was no “movement” for me, I just got tired of chemical burns and lack of hair growth. Just STOP this ishhhhhhh all together, damn!
No fro zone here…. I proudly wear my healthy relaxed hair!
Me too Jenny
This article is so true. I read the other article earlier though about things to leave in 2014, relaxers & transitioning were on the list. Not everyone wants to be natural and not everyone wants to big chop.
Thank you
We’ll I’m transitioning and I’m not with the big chop until I get a nice length I have been relaxed my whole life…yes I love the straight hair…just want to know what my curl patten is what texture I have if I don’t like trust I will be back to my relaxer…. Our hair do not define who we are
I’m doing the same thing
I love that you’re transitioning and respect the desire for straighter or simply more manageable hair. There are ways to increase manageability and straightness without chemicals, however.
F**k that im all about the fro go natural imbrace ya natural look! Rock it like no one else can 🙂
I miss my perm BUT my hair was unhealthy so I had to do the natural thing… I don’t think its selling out its doing what you want with your hair just like wearing a weave, braids etc.
Damn right, get over it people
Im natural because perming kept my hair falling out…if what u do works for u,do that. Beautiful hair comes relaxed and natural,weaves,braids,afros, kinky twist, rod set, whatever. Our hair is so versatile
My hair was banging when I had a perm and it’s banging now that I’m natural too
My hair was banging when I had a perm and it’s banging now that I’m natural too
Lol.. wow.. smh.
#NATURAL
Thank you…
What this all boils down to is one simple thing: it’s called a choice. We all have the ability to make one and no one has a right to inflict their choice on someone else. Relaxed, transitioned, natural, or whatever, it’s your head and your choice. That’s why it’s called ‘free will.’ If you don’t like someone’s choice just remember one thing…..they might not like your choice either.
To each Is own beauty is in the eye of the beholder
I’ve been natural for 11 months. When I relaxed, I had retained a nice length for a while.. Then I start going to different hairstylist.. Then I had experienced chemical damaged and breakage. I had to cut about 4 or 6 inches off.. So If they’re BW still relaxing, I gave you advice and wish you luck! But as for me, I’m really happy with my decision of going natural.
Who said it was? We’re allowed to express ourselves. I’m natural, but sometimes I wear my hair pressed, weaved or braided.
Not everyone can wear their hair natural. My sister can, I cannot because my hair is very thick and coarse and I do not like braids or twists. In it’s natural state my hair is very difficult to style so relaxer it is.
Same here Valerie
Too each their own. We are all beautiful sisters no matter what we decide to with our hair. Let’s speak uplifting.
do what you want just check where you spend your money Revlon makes perms a we heard what they think about you
It’s sure is a choice. And everyone should do whatever they want to their hair. But it’s also true that it damages your hair and scalp. You are better of whitout all those harsh chemicals, but if you like it like that who am I to tell to srop doing it. It should everyone personal decision.
There are products being used by some natural women that are just as toxic. Not everyone natural is going to there local grocery section for hair care products.
I said ” it should be everyones decision to perm or not” I don’t really care who relax or who prefer their hair natural. And yes there are lots of product with lots of chemicals for natural hair. That much I know, after all I wear my hair the way it grows out my scalp. The difference between relax hair products and natural hair products is that all relax hair products contains harsh chemicals otherwise you’ll never get your kinky or curly hair straight. Some products for natural hair contains harsh chemicals such as chloride, parfums, silicones etc… but you can choose for 100% natural products or homemade products if your not too lazy. So yeah, your right some natural product contains chemicals but at least I have the choice not to buy and use them. People who relax/perm their hair can only use products with harsh chemicals.
You are incorrect mam about women with perms only being able to use products with harsh chemicals. I have used some of the same treatments for conditioning my hair mayo with egg lol. I really think it depends on knowing good haircare techniques. Being mindful of what home products or natural that work for you. I do agree with you on everything else though.
Yeah…..
Who said it’s selling out in the first place? I see a lot of angry comments on here from the relaxed side. I’ve done both my whole life. I guess I really don’t care about cutting my hair and starting over. It’s not a hairstyle, since you can press your hair but rather a life choice. I can PERSONALLY say my hair was/is healthier in its natural state and without the color I add sometimes. I think that any of the things doctors advise against while you’re pregnant you shouldn’t do while you’re not. (I have Southern family and Kenyan by the way so it’s a lot they tell you not to do lol) This year I’m trying all those things out, so pray for me y’all it will be hard.
Yes because we are being called sellouts by these natural hair women who like to get on these pages and internet bully. They want to be seperated like this is some sort of segregation. We are all black and the bashing mainly on the internet needs to stop.
I agree. We are the most divided people! By age, color, gender, hair( types and styles), money, education etc. I personally have been laughed at for being natural, so at first I always wore my hair braided or a sew in.
So if you have to wear gloves to protect your hands from chemical burns what is that relaxer doing to the hair? Have you looked at a relaxed hair fibre below a microscope? It’s bad for the hair. I’m surprised there hasn’t been a mass lawsuit against this product. Relaxer is not good for the hair. Period.
If your natural why do you care? It’s not your head I don’t understand why is it so hard for y’all to keep your comments to yourself. Ppl understand the risk but obviously we want to keep using it.
Tshego Masemola I totally agree w/ you
I mean, in all seriousness, it goes both ways. Relaxed/straightened sistas have attacked and criticized natural sistas for years, talkin’ about “chile, you need a PERM on them naps!!” and other hateful remarks. Now that the shoe is seemingly on the other foot, those who choose to wear relaxers are up in arms. The long and short of it is this: if you take care of your hair, it’ll show–whether relaxed or natural, long or short. HEALTH of hair is what we should be focused on. Length and ease of styling will follow.
To each his or her own
Tshego Masemola totally agree
Thanks dear. The “relaxer” clique will remember us when their hairline is gone. Ask naomi Campbell. It’s not about choice. Anyone who believes that is delusional. There’s no two ways about this. Relaxer is not good for the hair. It’s a temporary shortcut to long term repercussions.
Yes ma’ams, so true. These types of products were made to do one thing and one thing only, make black women look more appealing to white Amerikkka.
But if I have to wear protective gear to comb my hair, there’s a serious problem.
Smh! Wow! It’s a styling choice. To each her own. We have to stop all this separating amongst us … light/dark, straight/kinky … #onelove
Lol
I’m giving up on natural
I’m sick of my hair / head hurting every time I have to comb it..
Thank you,I love my relaxed hair, just can’t get into natural, its not for everyone.
That’s the same exact way I feel Jacci.
Kendie Jackson Bradley…. feel free to relax, lol.
Lmbo thanks sis LaShonda Coleman-Dailey, love ya!!!!
Huuunney every so often you just got to have one….nothing against being natural… it just makes things a little simpler. Love ya!
Huuunney every so often you just got to have one….nothing against being natural… it just makes things a little simpler. Love ya!
It is easier and my husband is happy with it, so that makes me happy.
Let’s stop lying to ourselves. Relaxer is bad for the hair. This is not a personal attack on any person but on the product. Think about it, where did the Asians selling us this product test this product? How do they know what the long term side effects of this product is? Will you be compensated for hair loss? Since I stopped relaxing my hair has never been healthier and stronger.
Same here
I stopped because of the shedding and scalp irritation. I was paying a lot of money to get mine done
I love my soft naps and I embrace my natural. I feel when u perm ur hair, ur not happy with what you naturally have. So keep your (perm)anent hair style and sew-in… I like my grow-in. ❤️
This post is specifically made for ppl like you. The point of the article and the comments is women that relax want to be left alone. Your opinion is invalid and ignorant it kills me what you just said smh.
No you’re invalid! I have an opinion like u bitch Rivian Jones
Your so stupid an d ignorant you can’t articulate yourself without cussing. Wow! Well just goes to show you are just a sad stupid individual with equally sad and stupid opinions lol. I suppose my comment struck a nerve with you what a stupid girl you are lmao.
Not true. Just because I perm my hair doesn’t mean I’m not happy with what I have; it means that not everyone chooses to wear their hair natural and we shouldn’t be bashed for it.
No, I have a low tolerance for sensitive, insecure bitches like u Rivian Jones
No Kadijah your ignorant! You are insecure with your intelligence that is the reason you started cursing like a little ghetto girl throwing a fit. I’m solidified with my perm and the ability to get my opinion across without name calling. Sad little girl tsk tsk.
I don’t CARE about your perm… I just had an opinion, so I expressed it. That’s it. Doesn’t make it a fact so you don’t have to try and insult me. Go away.
Really? Kadijah are you feeling attacked and offended? Well you know how another woman now feels when being judged because of the way she styles her hair. Your opinion generalizes and is offensive hopefully going forward you will be supportive vs judgemental.
We are all beautiful sisters. Let’s uplift and not tear down one another. Relaxer or no relaxer, it’s just hair and not that serious. When we are dead and gone, that hair will still be left here. Let’s rejoice.
Rivian Jones I’m not judging you.. Again, it’s an opinion. For someone who pretends to be educated, u sure are dumb. You see what you want to see don’t u? It’s my opinion. You must be insecure and unsure of yourself anyway… Sounds like a personal issue so fix it
Stop saying natural is not for everyone!!! People was not born with a relaxer in their hair.
Natural is not for EVERYBODY! Again why do you care? It kills me why women like you make this a issue smh. Keep doing you and support your fellow sister and keep your comments to yourself. As I said to someone elss this article is for you also. Just like a lot of you use to rock relaxers but I could easily be disrespectful and say you are just going with what is hot and in. Whatever reason a woman is relaxed your attitude should be do you bu t the fact it’s bothering you shows something is not right.
Natural hair nazis kill me. NO, NOT everybody chooses to be natural! There are some white women who were NOT born with blonde hair, but if they dye it blonde that’s their choice!
You were not born with deodorant under your arm but you were it don’t you?
You guys replies show ignorance… is it wrong to say we are all born natural? I understand all the annoying natural sistas but u guys are ACTING like chemical- bullies
Candez Simmons-Browne That is not just what she said and the point of the article is for everybody to do them and leave each other alone. The fact that she is commenting saying ppl stating natural is not for them means that is bothering her. Why is it bothering her? I want to know why some natural women in these groups care so much about why and what someone else is doing. Black ppl can’t help but to continue dividing each other by the dumbest and most trivial topics I.e skin tone and hair texture.
Ladys its okay to wear a relaxer it’s totally up to the person. But No body has Bad Hair!! I just don’t like the statement “natural is not for everybody” !
Thank you Candez Simmons-Browne
Lol
Chemicals for life for me!
Me too! *high five*
Thank you. I get ridiculed about having relaxed hair. Trying to be white. Not embracing my roots. I’m anti black. I don’t love myself. I have heard it all!!! It’s ridiculous.
All beautiful sisters, no matter what state your hair is in.
Nice article however the tone seemed somewhat of negativity
It not right to judge period … But handling our natural hair has become hard from years of not having to its a struggle for sure .. I don’t agree that be natural isn’t anything to be proud I am extremely proud my natural shows the work I put in to get where I am .. But only to people who knew where I was … Relaxed girls if your hair isn’t broken and falling out cuz you can do it right pay for upkeep then there is your pride as well … Most white girls have the same issue to bleach or not to bleach can they handle can they keep it healthy … Some girl have amazing relaxed hair I don’t even understand how it comes out so nice … But if its breaking, falling out and frizzin and your response to it is slap on more relaxer then yes that’s when I say there is a deeper issue …if going natural is causing you to neglect and damage your hair then don’t do it .. Proud is what you can be when you show what you achevied through hard work …. And neither side of this coin is easy …. Just don’t kill your hair trying to make it what it can’t be … Example mine don’t relax well my hair is chemically sensitive but for years I did it to try not to stand out .. I am damn proud I over came my fear of standing out and went natural… Main part MY fear
I don’t judge anyone who wears a relaxer. It is their own choice, but what I don’t appreciate is relaxed girls giving my hair dirty looks or making a comment about my head.
Also…those who say their hair is unmanageable and hard to deal with had not really tried hard enough. I have that deep 4c hair that is thick and very dense but I have learned a routine that gets me through. You just have to have patience.
I don’t judge anyone who wears a relaxer. It is their own choice, but what I don’t appreciate is relaxed girls giving my hair dirty looks or making a comment about my head.
Also…those who say their hair is unmanageable and hard to deal with had not really tried hard enough. I have that deep 4c hair that is thick and very dense but I have learned a routine that gets me through. You just have to have patience.
My sisters, my sisters….please! The real important issue that is afflicting the black community is not hair. How dare anyone say something about how another chooses to style their hair, hair is an accessory. I am the one relaxed head out of all my friends of whom are all highly educated professionals. I think their hair is beautiful! I celebrate it with them. My hair is mid back length, relaxed and healthy, that’s all that matters. We need to stop this foolishness, it’s another tool that we within the black community allow to divide and conquer us, just like skin shade. It’s stupid. Let’s focus on the real issues in our communities like education, family structure, self respect and taking greater responsibility in the way we conduct ourselves and rear our children. The problem with the black community can only be repaired from within, no one else is going to do it for us. I personally believe education is the way and spend my time tutoring in math and science and uplifting young black girls and boys. Please guys, this is nonsense. Find something more productive to put such negative energy into, this is just hair. Hair is my hobby too, that’s it. I want to see more black people in places of prestige and power, whether relaxed or natural, for the sake of my children. Let’s focus on that, not what other people do with what grows out of their head. Thank you.
My sisters, my sisters….please! The real important issue that is afflicting the black community is not hair. How dare anyone say something about how another chooses to style their hair, hair is an accessory. I am the one relaxed head out of all my friends of whom are all highly educated professionals. I think their hair is beautiful! I celebrate it with them. My hair is mid back length, relaxed and healthy, that’s all that matters. We need to stop this foolishness, it’s another tool that we within the black community allow to divide and conquer us, just like skin shade. It’s stupid. Let’s focus on the real issues in our communities like education, family structure, self respect and taking greater responsibility in the way we conduct ourselves and rear our children. The problem with the black community can only be repaired from within, no one else is going to do it for us. I personally believe education is the way and spend my time tutoring in math and science and uplifting young black girls and boys. Please guys, this is nonsense. Find something more productive to put such negative energy into, this is just hair. Hair is my hobby too, that’s it. I want to see more black people in places of prestige and power, whether relaxed or natural, for the sake of my children. Let’s focus on that, not what other people do with what grows out of their head. Thank you.