Confessions Of A Natural Hair Snob – If You Relax I Will Unfollow You On Social Media

Editors Note: This is an opinion post and not the general view of Black Hair Information

Confessions Of A Natural Hair Snob
Who one chooses to follow while on social media can be quite personal. You are behind your computer screen, your smartphone or your iPad and it’s just you and wherever your fingers might take you. It’s a personal decision that no one needs to know about, but alas I have a confession. I am about to share my snotty attitude about bloggers or vloggers that decide to go back on the relaxer train, its simple really…I quit following them.

OK, shallow much? Yes, I guess I am, but I still refuse to follow them even after finding out their reasons for abandoning the natural hair movement. The truth is I am a natural hair blogger and I consider that reason to be a valid enough excuse to remove someone on a new relaxed hair journey from my feed.

I don’t care why you chose to go relaxed nor do I care to hear about the transition back and your trials and tribulations as a relaxed hair blogger/vloggers so whats the point in lending my support?

I have hair interests that tailor solely around natural tresses and the idea of following someone who chose to relax bores me. I do not care about the subject I don’t watch not nor do I read up on the subject, and will happily move onto the next blog that sparks my interest. Natural hair snob? Sure, but I’m OK with that.

I’m also a liberal snob and a black everything snob. It’s my thing, and it may limit me as an individual but not everyone is everything to everybody. I have limited interests and time and like an old co-worker told me years ago. I only spend my personal time on and with the people and interests that I want to spend it with. Enough said!

I bring this up because I was going through my blogs and vlogs that I follow and came across one where the blogger admitted she was relaxed and gets the question of her hair status often. I immediately began deleting her out of my loop because I thought she was natural!


Originally posted 2014-06-25 15:00:25.

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About Sabrina Perkins


Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, http://www.seriouslynatural.org/ where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at www.seriouslynatural.spreadshirt.com

About Sabrina Perkins


Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, http://www.seriouslynatural.org/ where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at www.seriouslynatural.spreadshirt.com

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Comments

  1. Maybell Lena Killion
    Maybell Lena Killion

    Lol, it is funny though. I can’t say I’m a nazi at all but a little bit of a natural hair snob, but I’m trying to stop, I am!

  2. Hana Cheatom
    Hana Cheatom

    Just one more way for black women to be at odds with each other. Frankly who cares, its just hair, and people should be able to do with it what the choose without someone thinking they can judge them for it. Just think where we would be if women put all that ignorant, negative, hateful energy into something positive. SMH.

  3. Teah White
    Teah White

    Well I’m relaxed and I have unfollowed people on YouTube lately bc they are returning natural. But my attitude isn’t as strong (i.e. Stank) like Thule author of this article. Now my reasoning lies in whether the person focuses on “healthy hair” practices or “natural hair” practices.

  4. Teah White
    Teah White

    No don’t get me wrong…I actually follow more natural hair sites than relaxed be it bc there’s more of a natural hair movement allowing for more natural hair sites but sometimes it does annoy me when I admire a girls relaxed hair and her hair practices and she goes natural.

  5. Itumeleng Motuba
    Itumeleng Motuba

    i think i am a natural hair snob and i didnt realise till now! For example i was very disappointed when Jill Scott straighten her hair! Lol i know it doesnt take away from the awesome singer she is but i did give her new hair an “oh no she didnt”

  6. Jennifer Price
    Jennifer Price

    I honestly can’t fathom how and why anybody has time to worry about somebody else’s head. We got way greater problems to face and overcome as a people than hair texture, whichever one you prefer. And some of us like both natural AND relaxed looks!

  7. Monique

    I see nothing wrong with what you stated in this article. I am currently transitioning to natural and prior to transistioning I would follow relaxed blogs and vloggers, now that I am transitioning I like to follow natural hair blogs and vloggers. There’s nothing wrong with having a preference and it’s not hating just because you have a preference

  8. Kisha Spencer
    Kisha Spencer

    I think this was not a good post-uninformative, and slightly silly. I follow this website for useful hair information-not petty “stir up some trouble” kind of posts. I can read tmz.com for petty messy stuff.

    1. Antoinette Walker

      I agree Kisha.
      The writer states she does not see why Glamfun felt the need to explain why she went back to relaxers. I don’t see why she felt the need to explain why she will unfollow naturals who go back to relaxers.
      Just do it. This article did nothing to empower the natural movement!

      1. Anita

        I agree with you. You don’t have to comment on every single solitary issue.

    2. BlackHairInformation.com

      I dont see any trouble being stirred, everyone is entitled to an opinion and has the right to express it. if you disagree thats not trouble… thats jut the difference between you and another individual. As far as information goes, there are tons of posts you can choose from it this one does not fit the bill for you

  9. Tonya Jones
    Tonya Jones

    I follow people on social media now who are relaxed…but if I’m watching someone purely for natural hair tips and they went relaxed, why not unfollow them? Don’t see why this matters, no ones obligated to watch your youtube videos.

  10. Misty

    Hey, I think Glalmfun is transitioning back…or something!!

    1. Tabatha

      Yeah I read that somewhere too. I like Glamfun she’s a great person. I still follow her. i just like to see what she does with her make-up and hair no matter what state its in.

  11. Tay Diosa Caliente-roja Simmons
    Tay Diosa Caliente-roja Simmons

    I can understand where she’s coming from. It’s just her personal choice. No one has to follow her lead. I’m choosy about who I follow also. It all depends on what I can learn from them. Can they enhance whatever experience that peaks my interest at the moment. I’m a new natural, so I have no interest in relaxed hair at this point in my hair journey. I’ve been relaxed since I was in elementary school. I know that hair. I need to learn as much as I can about my hair in its current state. I still love the look of relaxed hair, but that’s not a benefit to me right now. That goes for anything from hair, to fashion, to fitness. If I can’t go to your page and find what I’m looking for, why follow you. It’s just a choice to me. Not being a nazi, a snob, or prejudice. No shade, no hate, no ill will intended.
    #AMatterOfPreference

    1. Tay Diosa Caliente-roja Simmons
      Tay Diosa Caliente-roja Simmons

      I do. But people tend to read a headline/title and don’t get the whole story (comprehension). They automatically go on the defensive and make snap judgements. We all have preferences. I do the same thing, and that’s my perogative (In my Bobby Brown singing voice). LOL
      #ThickSkin

  12. Jordann Allen
    Jordann Allen

    Do I care if someone is relaxed? No. Do I think relaxed hair should be encouraged? Should we still perm our kid’s hair? No.

  13. SLB

    Am I missing something??? This story was pointless. Why write a story about unfollowing people with relaxed hair. Just unfollow and keep it moving.

    1. kp

      Um, I found this article to be quite ridiculous. Running out of fresh, INFORMATIVE topics, are we?

  14. christina

    I’m totally a natural hair snob. My opinion is I don’t dislike relaxed hair bloggers/vlogger, it’s just, I feel they have nothing to offer as far as my hair journey. We are on two different paths with hair so information provided for relaxed hair doesn’t benefit me.

  15. Synamon

    If you’re a nhs (natural hair sister)and you are looking for tips and inspiration then only subscribing to other nhs’ is the way to go. Especially if you’re a newbie like myself. Watching rhs(relaxed hair sisters) would add confusion to an already high maintenance situation.

    1. Tabatha

      I subscribed when I was transitioning and it was so HARD for me mainly because I didn’t know my texture yet. So I just tried to follow the people that I thought my hair was 4C and then latter when it grew out I found out I was mostly 4a with touches of 3c and 4b. The person who got me through it was Naptural85,Queen Teshna and MahoganyCurls. They are different textures, but they did styles and explained things that I could execute with no problems well not the twist out or braid outs, but now I got it. I don’t like Weaves. Never have. I got one as a teenager and it just wasn’t for me. Queen Teshna was sporting one last month, but I didn’t unfollow her. I still think that she has great hair styles and I like her energy. As I was going through my transition I saw so much divide among the lights and darks and then it was the war of curlies, wavies, and kinkies. No offense to no body, but I was almost sorry that I even went on forums, but then I realized that I have control on what I click on and now its better.

  16. Pamela Smith
    Pamela Smith

    At first, I really didn’t like where this article was coming from but I do see the merrits of it. In many ways, if you’re following someone specifically for their hair advice, then yeah, I can see why you would delete that person. It’s their advice you are after and since relaxed hair no longer applies to you, I can see that being a no go. You’re not being a natural hair snob, you are looking for what you need.

  17. Drina

    I came from a relaxer to a natural. It was very tough going through it and it’s still very tough going through products that work for my regimen.

    For a person that crew up with a relaxer, many of them aren’t educated about how to deal with natural hair & natural course hair at that. It’s been almost 4 years for me.

    For some people who went from relaxer to natural back to relaxer I don’t believe anyone should show hate because most of us had been there and even if we haven’t I don’t think it’s right to judge.

    You have to love your hair which is the biggest thing …make time for your hair tame your hair and always cooperate. It’s is very hard work especially for beginners so some ppl may be frustrated and find it easier for it to be straight and manageable …..

    We all know relaxers aren’t healthy but that’s not our problem that’s theirs but it is still helpful to give even relaxed people tips on keeping their hair moisturized and conditioned healthier with the right products that can put ease on the chemical. Their hair is thinner yes but it can still grow. There are ways to keep it from breaking

    With natural hair your hair is STILL fragile, you can not sleep on it and you can put a reg comb on it. You MUST keep it moisturized or your hair will break

    So either or your hair can still be fragile in both ends even if natural hair is thicker and stronger….

    You have to pay more attention to natural hair . It’s a different ball game. You can’t wake up unwrap and go.

    We all need to understand that many women didn’t grow up natural but brainwashed and we need to respect all decisions and help either way for all of our sisters. Why disown them rather than help them? How about making a separate form for them?

    A lot of pages do not focus only on the main topic, some have their side topics that’s stores in another section.

  18. Carla

    I almost feel like I’m in a class where all of the other students found the information shared to be a “no-brainer” and basically pointless; but I sincerely appreciate the perspective that was shared. It helped open my understanding.

    Just wanted to “voice” my opinion as there could be few others like me who might have found this article interesting and helpful (and not for causing additional rifts in our community, but for opening our understanding so we can avoid making judgement calls due to lack of knowledge and understanding).

  19. TaSchema

    I am a natural hair nazi and proud of it, because I believe in not using chemicals. I don’t hate other people who do use chemical laden products but I dislike the way people want to change the meaning of a word to fit their agenda. I just use the Items that make my hair happy and fall under the definition of natural, and I follow people who have natural hair and if they went straight I probably wouldn’t continue to follow them unless they have a great personality them I wouldn’t care. I like following a variety of ladies and a man to see what views others have on their hair care, I take the info that pertains to me and keep it pushing.

    1. Jumoké

      So you openly proclaim the term “Natural Hair Nazi”… take me back to middle school why don’t you -__- there’s nothing wrong with having a preference and supporting the natural hair movement but to label yourself as a “Nazi” is pretty embarrassing. I think you’re militant, not a “Nazi.”

  20. Michelle M

    I follow blog that offers useful information, so unfollow if you feel the need. I just don’t get the natural vs relaxed war, and why anyone feel they should discriminate.

  21. leah

    ok, to me it doesnt matter. I havent stopped following the person simply for their choice in hair. esspecially if they were giving good advice for healthy hair.

  22. Ms Marcy

    There are toooooooooooooo many great women to follow who meet my natural hair needs. I UN-follow the moment someone stops being natural. A relaxed person is fine in the world, but not worth the time to watch them.

  23. Janeen McClure

    As a licensed hairstylist, I always tell my clients “In whatever state you choose to wear your hair; research it and learn it so you will know how to get and keep your hair healthy, strong, and beautiful, whether it’s relaxed or natural”. One is not superior to the other, in my book.

  24. Sherry Miles
    Sherry Miles

    I follow people because they contribute something to my interests. If all they do are hair videos and I gain nothing from them, I probably won’t follow. If they also do makeup videos, or something else of interest to me, I’ll follow.
    In regards to ULoveMegz, I will forever follow her because she contributes to my funny bone. I adore her!

    1. Sabrina Perkins Post author

      Exactly. Everyone seem to not understand that I follow relaxed women for other things than hair.

  25. Akudo Anyanwu
    Akudo Anyanwu

    I understand what the author’s saying, it’s her opinion and she is entitled to it and to expressing it. I just don’t see the value of the post. How does it provide any benefit to anyone? I subscribe and unsubscribe all the time depending on whether or not the content piques my interest, or meets my needs. However, I do not think it’s necessary or beneficial to inform others of my reasons unless someone asks specifically. Even then, I still consider what point there would be in divulging the requested information.

  26. Andrea

    Well, I was natural for two years. I have just recently went back to relaxing my hair. I was having a hard time maintaining my natural hair because I have arthritis in both of my hands. I had this problem for a few years but it began to get worse. There were times when I was natural I would take a pain reliever first because I knew that my hand were going to hurt during the process of doing my hair. In addition, the next step for treatment were steroid shots. Okay, I take enough steroids as it is for my asthma. To take more…..I just decided against that. I sincerely prefer my hair in its natural state but I would be in so much pain. Some of my colleagues suggested that I get braids. One word that changed my mind and that is money. So a sorority sister of mine suggested I get dreads. I didn’t want those either. So I decided to go back to relaxing my hair. Before anyone starts attack those who have went back to the “creamy crack” you may not know the reason why.

  27. Riiah Baptiste
    Riiah Baptiste

    Everyone I follow is natural because I’m natural. If one of them relaxed then the content of their videos following relaxing would determine if I would unfollow. If I can’t relate to anything they’re saying then what’s the point in continuing to follow them? If you can still give me good hair and product tips then I don’t care if you shave your head bald and paint your scalp green.

  28. Deirdre

    When the writer reads this article she wrote 5 years from now, I guarantee she will see just how silly she was being. I respect your right to have your own opinion, even if I think it’s ridiculous, however. To each her own. But IMHO some black women spend far too much time judging each other on texture of protein that grows out of our heads than on celebrating our womanhood and making those in your sphere of influence better people.

    1. Sabrina Perkins Post author

      I’m sure I’ll be just fine with this article 5 years from now but even not I will be 5 years older in a different place in my life like everyone else. Thanks for commenting.

  29. Stephanie Carter

    I don’t consider myself to be a natural hair nazi, but I do find myself bypassing relaxed hair blogs and YouTube channels. I believe that a person can do what they want with their hair, and I can also choose not to support them as they do it. I mean, my daughter still relaxes, but I don’t loan her the money when she’s broke. The only thing I can be called a nazi about is my granddaughter’s hair. Her mother admits to relaxing it without knowing what she was doing (I relaxed her’s young, but with a well thought out plan) and now my granddaughter’s edges are jacked and her hair is starving. So for the summer, I have taken on a growth challenge with her and bribed her mother with a few items from my much coveted (by her) nail polish collection.

  30. TMW

    I go to natural hair vlogs/blogs to educate myself (I have natural hair) I don’t visit the relaxed ones because I figure the techniques / products probably won’t work as well on my natural tresses. Nothing against the person at all.

  31. Lisa

    I agree with the author. I dont think it is a stank attitude but the same kind of deal. When I subscribe for natural hair ideas and styles and tips that is what I want to see. So if a person decides to relax their hair, I’m not angry or hating- that’s their choice and I respect that, but it isnt what I’m looking for and therefore no need for me to continue to follow them. I dont comment good or bad, I just make a personal choice as did that person and we both have the right to do so. I’m truthfully the same way with natural hair vloggers who use wigs and/or weaves more often than their own hair. Not hating on them if that’s what they choose to do, but that’s not what I’m personally looking for. I want ideas to do with my own hair without that.

  32. MCNB

    I find it ok to unfollow people that have turned to relaxers. After giving them time and seeing that they dont have anything that is helpful and interesting to you. But not when the person just announced the switch! I know many many realxed hair bloggers that can have great information for naturals about hair growth. I also have a feeling that youre looking for hate … because seriously you act as if relaxed women didnt know anything about healthy hair!

  33. Shasha

    I am glad I do not value people based on their hair, skin, etc like you do. I am quite interested in all people and what they do, it broadens my perspective. This post only enlightens to me how close minded people never actually change the world. They focus too much on small things like hair, which will eventually turn grey and fall out or skin which will eventually wrinkle and turn to dust when you die. Sigh…I am so glad I realize life is too short to be a hair philosophy nazi. Whether you are relaxed or natural, I will always ask what I can do to make my hair an expression of me. I thought that was what hair styling was all about??? Guess not for you….

  34. Quiana

    This article is silly! I can’t believe BHI allowed this . Just bc someone is relaxed you will not follow her?? What about her journey? It may not be the same but we can all relate in trying to accomplish healthy hair ! We may have different goals but why not encourage one another. I been natural for 8 years and follow many relaxed girls. I may not take as much advice from them but I do like to see there journey. Cause we’re all running the same race in healthy hair!

  35. Nicole Caldwell
    Nicole Caldwell

    I really think some of these posts are put on here to create a reaction and stir up the pot. All of these posts about “natural nazis” or “which twist out is better” or “whites can be natural too” are dumb and enabling. I didn’t follow this page for the negativity. I came here to make more natural friends and unite as natural black women. Not gossip about childish things like unfollowing people on social networks because they’re not natural. Smh, pointless arguments bring out ignorance and it’s frustrating that I find this stuff often on natural hair pages.

    1. Nicole

      Couldn’t have said it any better! BHI take this article down, it doesn’t promote unity among us

  36. Ghlonghair

    It’s your choice how you want to feel about the state of someone else’s hair , whether to follow or unfollow. I don’t attach my emotions to hair and all that comes with it. I support everyone on hair journeys and I do so because in my few years of taking care of my hair, I found valuable information on both relaxed and natural hair blogs and vlogs.

  37. locitylocs

    I understand completely what you are saying. I feel the same way. Someone who was natural but then decides to relax can’t hold my attention. Don’t sweat these people throwing shade at you for posting this blog. It’s yours and you can post whatever you like.

  38. TEE

    I agree with the author 101%%. I feel a certain kind of way when folks return to the perms. Based on Glamfun’s reason for returning to the relaxer (her dermatologist suggested it stating that it was better for her CCCA DX), I don’t think a relaxer will help the matter at all. I have the same condition, have for years, and i get a little bit better results when i am natural than i did when I was relaxed.
    So Kudos to you Author for not being afraid to state your stance in this anything goes society!

  39. Michaela

    I understand were you are coming from, but I personally like to read about relaxed and natrual hair so I have knowledge of both,and when people ask me why I am going natrual I explain the cons of relaxer on my hair and the pros being natrual, and thats my personal opinion and you have yours. I am currently transitioning to natrual and everytime I bring it up witg my family who are all relaxed they tell me they don’t want to hear me out they say ‘don’t go all natrual on us’ so people with relaxed hair don’t want to see our hair journey’s so u understand why you don’t care about what they do with their hair! Good article!

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