Once I hit my 5 year natural journey I felt like I could actually do this “natural thing.” I mean, there I was a fresh wash n go, and deep conditioning* treatment, and I even posted a photo with the hashtag #naturalgirlsrock.
I mean, I was natural and proud, or so I thought. When I started my natural journey 5 years prior it was around a huge transitional period of my life. Not only had I just moved across the country, but I had also broken off an engagement.
I thought going natural would be a fresh hair start, because so much of my identity was wrapped up in my hair. Even today, I swear some people from my childhood still call me “the girl with the long hair.” I hated that. I wanted to create a new identity, and I thought the big chop would be the first step.
However, shortly after big chopping I became oddly obsessed with my natural hair and my natural curl pattern. I spent an obscene amount of money on a bunch of new products, and spent countless hours watching YouTube videos of natural chicks.
It was like an obsession, almost. So when the two year mark hit, and I posted that #naturalgirlsrock instagram photo, my page was flooded with likes and comments, and with each like and each comment I felt more and more annoyed.
Yes, I think natural girls rock, but I didn’t feel like a rockstar at that moment. My wash and go didn’t fall quite how I liked it, and secretly for the last 6 months prior, I had been craving a relaxer. I mean, it was as if I was holding in some dirty little secret, because I hadn’t even told my closest friends.
So 15 minutes after posting the natural girls rock photo, I deleted it. Then, the following Saturday morning I posted a photo from my stylist’s chair with the hashtag #relaxedgirlsrock too, and felt so liberated!
I mean, yes I loved being natural for those 5 years, but more importantly, I just love my hair and the versatility of it. Yes, I went back to relaxed hair, and who knows how long it’ll last. This post is for anyone who may be on the fence and or ashamed about wanting to get relaxers again after being natural. Go for it!