We discuss pretty often how much we learn on our natural hair journeys. How this movement is progressing and growing and thriving and we understand the significance it has on black women or women of color as a whole.
Whether you are natural or not, you have to acknowledge the grand importance of our natural beauty being on trial, and how that makes us look inward to find our own beauty. There is a self-awareness of what you personally find beautiful that is on trial. Why is what you find beautiful…beautiful? Has it been shaped by society or your upbringing or even your insecurities?
With all of this we are struggling or overcoming, we seem to be forgetting one important aspect of our hair, beauty and acceptance. What about our man? Now, I know we discuss our men or significant others when it comes to our hair quite often but it’s more about how they like (or dislike) our natural tresses.
We try and make them understand our desire for this change and in many ways we demonize them for not coming to our aid and accepting our hair or even just supporting us. It’s our hair and I get that but maybe approaching this dilemma in another way may make it a more pleasant journey for the two of you.
We are learning everyday how to care for our tresses. How to cleanse, condition, retain moisture, keep strong and healthy and as we want only a healthy relationship with our hair we must also want a healthy relationship with our mate. That relationship needs nurturing too. if you want it to thrive and grow stronger everyday because just like our hair it can wither away into a damaged mess that grow stunted. Once that happens, all you can do is cut it off because there is no salvageable parts left to save.
Including your man into your journey is not only wise but sets up a positive journey for the two of you. Yes, it’s his journey as well. He’s watching, learning, accepting and growing just like your tresses and just like you. It takes more than just letting him see you in your satin bonnet* or knowing you will run out of hot water after you shower to get the true meaning of what this is and how this affects you as a woman.
He may not, at first, show much interest but asking him what he likes, which hairstyle he finds prettier or doing your hair around him is including him even if he’s not even truly aware. He’s learning about your routine, your products, methods and new ways of taking care of your hair.