Does Your Man Like Your Natural Hair And Do You Care?

Does your man like your natural hair

Well, does he? And yes, do you ACTUALLY CARE? I find this topic or problem perplexing on so many levels. I mean…why are we even having this discussion in the first place?

OK, I get it. Your man, husband, boyfriend, significant other is important to you so what they think about you matters. So this two part question is a real-life dilemma for some women who are considering going natural, already going natural or who have been natural for a while.

Does your man like your natural hair?

I know this is kind of a loaded question since there could be a deeper meaning behind it like, who’s asking and what’s their ulterior motive? Are they hating on your hair or do they know your man and knows what he likes?

Well, scratch all that. It’s me asking and I’m just inquiring because apparently this can become an obstacle for some women when deciding to go natural. Let me start with a story I want to share.

A co-worker of mine wanted needed to go natural because her hair was breaking off badly. Her real problem was heat along with relaxing. She used a curling iron or a flat iron regularly but her hair was paying the price.


She decided to stop straightening her hair and allow it to curl naturally. It was beautiful, or at least I thought it was. She wore a curly fro like she did back in the day (she was older than me and actually had a fro back in the 70’s). Yet, she was self-conscious on how she looked despite what me and others in the office were saying. We all loved her hair.

Her hair was thriving, the breakage and thinning hair problem was disappearing. Happy ending, right? WRONG. After about a couple of months she was back to flat-ironing and using the curling iron. Her husband didn’t like her curly fro and preferred straight styles.

She had tried to appease him by wearing straight wigs but changed her mind and went back to what she knew he loved. I was shocked. Shocked at him and shocked at her but I kept my mouth shut. It wasn’t my place nor my relationship.

My opinion

I’m sorry but I’m not going bald for ANYBODY. My thinning hair was one of the reasons I went natural and the thought of going bald outside of an illness is sheer madness to me. I’m sure she told him her hair was breaking off or at least I hope she did. When does preference become abusive? I think it does when your preference harms me in some way.

Originally posted 2014-02-26 15:00:15.

Prev Page1 of 2

About Sabrina Perkins


Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, http://www.seriouslynatural.org/ where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at www.seriouslynatural.spreadshirt.com

About Sabrina Perkins


Hello all, I'm Sabrina. I'm a freelance writer and a full-time blogger at my site, http://www.seriouslynatural.org/ where the focus is on Natural hair, beauty and style. I became natural 8 years ago at the tender age of 35 and love sharing my ups and downs as I master this thing called natural hair. Married, with two kids (one being a natural herself) gives me a different perspective on our hair and why I love being natural. I want healthy hair, long hair and sexy hair! I'm an older natural---that's right---I'm grown and sexy, and I have much to share. I love fashion too and recently opened a clothing shop for beautiful black women at www.seriouslynatural.spreadshirt.com

ENJOYED THIS POST? JOIN OUR NEWSLETTER!

Sign Up Now




358
Leave a Reply

avatar
310 Comment threads
48 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
318 Comment authors
Leah JamesTheresa Marie BryantKrystal WhiteTonia CliftonShaughnessy King Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Kay Dané

Yes he does lol

Colleen Spooner

It only matters if you like it–not him!!!

Nickole Davis

No, he does not! : ( He will have to develop a love affair with my new style that is here to stay.

Angela Mobley

No he doesn’t however I do!!!

Melisa Ward

My guy loves my natural hair if anything I told him I was thinking of getting a weave and he hated the idea, he said it hides what he loves about me and that’s the feel of my curly hair 🙂

Daishana Thompson

I do care what he thinks. My boyfriend say my natural hair once before also 4 years ago, he always said he loved it (it was flat ironed then got wet). I didn’t really believe him then last year I went natural, needless to say he was happy and admitted that he loved the smell my Natural hair gave off instead of my added hair.

Michelle Dee Dunlap

He loves it, and he’s white, I have to keep telling him to keep his hands off my curls, he’s going to make them frizzy

Snow Dudley

Yes he Love it!!

Nehita Burnett

Mine loves it. He is forever playing with my curls and I could care less if there is frizz

Alyshia Baker

Mine loves it ! I was natural when we met it was just under wigs and sew ins. He said I should never go back to weave an got really upset when I did braids as a protective style lol

Fahimah Divatastic Brown

Yup he loves it

Michaele Mickey Acary

I get so tired of these hair discussions. You do what you want with your hair. The worst part is being judged or scrutinized for something like hair. “Natural” hair “permed” whatever, we will all still end up in a box beneath the earth eventually. It’s good to take care of your body and soul and look nice.

Sahara
Sahara

Why are you on a website that encourages hair discussions??
All you hafta do is X out and move on. OR just reD the article and don’t scroll any further

Yvette Bingham

My hubby loves it, but im going back to relaxing it.

Adrian Ray

My husband didn’t to much care for it at first because I did the big chop but he warmed up to it because it was natural. Since it has grown, he likes it more. Glad to have a husband and not a boyfriend.

Penny McPherson

Mine loves my hair, likes to touch it, play with it by picking it up and letting it fall, flicking it and complimenting it. Calls me a cutie routinely! He may not say something with every new style I try, and that’s fine. I’m the one trying to smooth down my baby hair and he’s like “why? It’s natural let it do what it does!” I’m so very blessed and fortunate to be married to a man who focuses on larger issues in life and makes me feel good about myself–we are our own worst critic sometimes. He loves me for me not what is growing out of my head.

Norkita White
Norkita White

Yes my husband absolutely loves my natural hair, he loves that I am happy with my hair. He actually said that he wishes that I would have returned natural a long time ago.

Penny McPherson

God forbid if the women whose men don’t like their hair gets cancer and they can no longer relax it, or have hair at all. I wonder since hair is so important to them, will they stick around when she is throwing up, lethargic, in pain and bald.

Malakah Angellia Gladston

Does he like it??? He LOVES it!!!!!!
He wouldn’t have it any other way. Personally, I think a black man who cannot support, or is against his BLACK woman wearing her natural hair has a psychological problem.

Carrie Ann Sadler-Walker

I went and got my hair locked and a week later my husband did the same thing. That was almost 4 years ago and we have been married almost 34 years.

tciera

My bf likes my natural hair, but let’s say a twist out doesn’t turn out how I was expecting it or I just forgot to do something to my hair the night before, he would hate if I grabbed my wig. I have a natural wig that looks just like my hair…and he hates it. He watches Tommy Sotomayor on YT and agrees with him (by saying women wearing weave or wigs look like hair hatted hooligans). It’s offensive not only to me, but to other women as well that like to switch things up every now and then. He even went with me to get a shorter wig when my hair was shorter and he picked it out (this was during my pregnancy last year) but months later, he told me he hated it and I looked a mess. That made me feel bad about myself because who doesn’t want their man to be attracted to them esp during pregnancy? It brought my self confidence down honestly and I changed the way I dressed, stopped wearing makeup (he hates that too) due to what he doesn’t like (and I just graduated with a Fashion Marketing and Design degree so appearance matters to me). I do agree with Nnenna Carr. I care about what he thinks, but I don’t like the feeling that I’m controlled and can’t wear what I want when I want. I’m 23 and it makes me mad and upset that he looks at other women (and likes all of their pictures on FB and they look EXACTLY like what he claims that he hates on me…weave and makeup) but tells me he doesn’t like me wearing any of that stuff. I’ve been natural for 6 years and I like changing things up every once in a while.

Lanaye MzCurvaceous

He loves when I rock my natural & he loves when I wear weave, wigs, etc so it’s not an issue with him.

Cassandra Hawkins
Cassandra Hawkins

I had been relaxed for 32 yrs and decided to go natural. I big chopped in Dec 2013 at a hair festival in Houston. I’m from New Mexico so I got off the plane natural. My man told me it’s my hair do what ever makes me happy. I’ve gotten nothing but compliments. I feel if your man loves you he wouldn’t care if you were bald. I’m a 3 x cancer survivor. Being blessed and living life is a blessing! God is good and I’m loving life and my TWA!

Nadia Shelton

He likes it.

Caramel Kimmie

yes my man love it

Braylis Bryce

Nooo

Carrie Laura-Lee Howe

Yes my man loves whatever I choose to do with my hair! India Said it best, “I am not my hair”!

Klarine Richards
Klarine Richards

My huband witnessed me go through years of suffering from damage to my hair caused by relaxing as well as “client abuse” from several stylists. He has not only welcomed but embraced my decision to be natural. On another note, I have found that many women use their mates as excuses not to make the switch. Somehow it is easier for them to say “He doesn’t want me to go natural” than be honest and say “I don’t want to be natural. Go figure!

Siboniso Ndlovu
Siboniso Ndlovu

If your husband loves weaves, relaxers, straight hair,why doesn’t he do that to his own hair?! When a man cannot accept the real you sorry but he is questionable. It reminds me of Angela Bassett in “Waiting to Exhale” when her character said she is tired of being his white girl, hmmm. It’s time the standard of beauty changed!

Perpetua Odoh
Perpetua Odoh

My man loves my natural hair. He so supportive with whatever I have to do to keep my hair healthy. He actually goes to the hairdresser’s with me and stays with me till I’m done. And even when I’m floundering in my decision to go natural,he he’s always there to give me a boost.

Rutendo D. Magwenzi

He does,but quite frankly I wouldn’t care if he didn’t

Raven Marie

He loves my natural hair. When we met I was just starting to transition. I had a closely shaved Mohawk. He dealt with me weaving it up and never complained. Now I have a full head and nice length he loves my curls or my straight. I no longer weave so that’s good for him also. He also rocks his little natural curls lol

Latoyia Walker

My husband prefers me to go natural and I approve. I love it

Dashawnda Pryor-Smith

My husband loves my natural hair he actually encouraged me to be natural and yes I do care, I value his opinion very much

Kawanna McCarrell

I don’t care what anyone thinks about my hair. Especially a man. If they want long straight hair there are plenty other ethnicities they can choose. Just how i feel. (could be why i stay single)! Lol

Nadine Stewart

Yes hunni!

freda fro

Mine loves it, he even recently helped me dye it.

Sonya Rice

My boyfriend looooves my natural. He encouraged me to grow it out longer and healthy. I’m so happy he’s supportive!!!!

Charifa Sno

I don’t care whether he loves it or not. It’s my hair and I believe that this is healthier for my hair. So thats what I’ll do. And I think that it’s strange that when I woman walks around with her coily hair, it’s all of a sudden not need or well presented or whatever you call it. You should do what you want

Ilsis E. Pozo

He loves it <3

Angel
Angel

When I did the big chop, my husband probably had a mini heart attack. He tells me I like your hair certain ways that you wear it natural. I, at this point don’t care because my hair is thick and beautiful (never had thick hair before) and I have a daughter with beautiful hair that surprisingly, my husband does not like for me to put in anything but natural styles because he says it fits her (yeah he’s weird). He made the grave error of asking me did I want him to buy me a perm about a year in and has never made that mistake again. I think its about what we as woman are willing to accept. Men are always trying to make us fit the bill for them but never want to fit the bill for us. I told him when he loses the beer and beer belly, then maybe he can buy me a perm. Needless to say, I am still rocking my fro.

Ruby Toyer

WHO CARES

Sherry Smith
Sherry Smith

I am transitioning to natural hair (6 months now) and honestly I could careless if anyone does not like my natural hair. Its been a redefining time for me, and I am loving getting to know what my natural hair looks like and feels. My hair and scalp is much healthier now then before. I no longer have the itchy scalp, dandruff and breakage, which is more the reason why I stand firm on my natural hair transition…Now my friend on the other hand is stuck on the European look, whatever that is (I guess straight and over kill relaxed hair). My comment back to him was maybe you need a European, because relaxing is no longer an option for me. lol

Maureen Fortis McLeod

It’s my hair, not his!

Africana_501
Africana_501

This was a great article! My guy loves everything about my natural hair. Sometimes I think he love it more than I do, lol. Ever since I went natural almost 3 years ago, I haven’t had a problem with men not liking my hair. My male family members, friends, even coworkers all supported my decision to go natural and love it when I have my hair out.

La Wanda Kazee-Fitten

My husband likes it. Actually he suggested that I give my natural hair a try!

Willow Boyd

My man didn’t like the big chop, but after it grew he started liking it

Monalisa Temple-bess

Yes, he really does love my hair natural. Yes, I do care about how he feels.

Kamahla
Kamahla

I’ve been natural for 8 years but never wore the curls. About 2 years ago I decided to start wearing it curly bc I live in Florida and straight just doesn’t always work in this humidity. He didn’t agree with it at first but he recognized that I liked it. Now he likes it. Even looks up new products for me to try.

Carolyn V. Ridley

I could care less!!!

Adelice Nicole

My beloved husband prefers my “Natural” hair, and he absolutely adores it!! <3