Can A Big Chop Ruin Your Relationship?

baldMy best friend and I were walking to the mall, and I really wanted to compliment her on her new look. “Girl, I love your TWA! It’s looks so good on you and I love how it brings out the beauty and features in your face,” I gushed.

She replied, “Oh yes hunny! I had to let that relaxer go. I feel so liberated and ready for this new chapter in my hair journey.”

I asked her, “Girl, I know your boo loves it, right?”

Her excited shrills immediately changed to a somber whisper, “Tina…he dumped me…I guess he only wanted me for my waist length hair.” I was completely shocked and speechless. But I wanted to support and encourage her in any way I could. So I gave her a loving and caring hug, and let her know that she is beautiful no matter what! But that had me thinking for the rest of the day, ‘Can a woman’s decision to Big Chop really affect her love relationship?’

What is The Big Chop?

We all know what the big chop is: it marks stage one of your hair journey, where you make an attempt to rid your hair of the relaxer by cutting it, and allowing your natural hair to grow out to great lengths. Big chops can also happen if you already have natural hair, and you just feel like starting over for something fresh and different.

Not everyone thinks big chops are cool though; some might go as far as to think your man did you wrong, and you chopped your hair off to let go of the past. Others might think that you are having a mid-life crisis, and your long hair was holding you back, so you finally let go.


Then there are those who think you are completely sick and crazy, and that you have completely lost your mind. But hey! Not everyone is going to love all of your decisions; there will be unwanted opinions, rude comments, and blank stares – but who cares, right?

The truth is, it’s easy not to care about the comments of those people we do not have to see everyday especially when those cruel comments and harsh statements come from the one who should support and encourage you always, like your man.

After all, we enter into our love relationships with relaxed, texlaxed, or maybe even extensions and weaves. Our guys may not have had not had the chance to see us with our natural hair.

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About Christina J


Hey there! My name is Christina J. I am a healthy hair advocate and have been natural since October 2012. In June 2014, I decided to start my blog, Desire My Natural! to document my hair journey and other fun topics (family, health, inspiration, more). As I share, help, encourage, and support others in their healthy hair journey, I am continuing my own.

About Christina J


Hey there! My name is Christina J. I am a healthy hair advocate and have been natural since October 2012. In June 2014, I decided to start my blog, Desire My Natural! to document my hair journey and other fun topics (family, health, inspiration, more). As I share, help, encourage, and support others in their healthy hair journey, I am continuing my own.

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Mieshel Jett

My husband was fine with my big chop. He was with me when I went to barbershop! Wigs and weaves he hates. Now I’m in the process of getting locs and I still have his support.

Tajmah Jessika

Natural hair is fuck boy repellent

Christian Michele

Would you leave ur man if he decided to rock a reverse mohawk? Or if he relaxed his hair down to his back or wore a mullet? Its about attraction. Should it end a relationship? No. But it might cause some issues lol sexually if your partner doesnt find you attractive with a certain style. Man or woman.

Angie Jackson

If cutting my hair ruins what relationship I have then………. Goodbye & Kick Rocks.

Maame Afia Sika-Doe

am lost, wat does big chop hv to do wit relationship? so lost………….

Linda M. Meridy

My husband love my natural hair, in my opinion the relationship was all ready ruined

Shatera Walls

No not at all if so he’s not the one. “It’s your hair” my fiancé said. He love me not my hair I’m me with or with out it. He even said “what if you were to get sick and lost all of your hair I would still love you plus its hair it will grow back” what I’m saying is someone who truly loves and cares about you WILL NOT STOP LOVING YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR APPEARANCE!!!!

Sheila Rice

My husband was upset about me combing fifteen years of dreads out. I promised that I would stay natural. He has seen my progress and it grew on him.

Judith Wright

It shouldn’t and didn’t for me – but out of respect for your man, I recommend a heads up in your intentions.

Jeanette Fields-Watkins

No. My husband took a day or two, but now he touches my head everytime he walks by. Probably trying to make it grow back, or wiping off greasy hands as he likes to tease.

Terry Matthews

If me cutting off my hair can ruin my relationship, there was no relationship.

Azathoth McGee

If it do you shoulda left that b**ch a** b**ch a long time ago.

Pamela Wilder

Save Money & Time….so No! 🙂