Relaxing Your Hair Is Just A Hairstyle Not A Sell Out
Written On Mar 9th, 2010 | By AlmaAnd wearing your hair natural is not political statement.
When did how a black woman chooses to wear her hair become a political statement rather that what it is; a hairstyle?
I recently saw a thread on a black hair forum about relaxers being no different in terms of self hate than skin lightening creams and plastic surgery. A strong statement that’s likely to gauge a reaction whether your hair is natural or relaxed.
Some may agree due to the risks associated with relaxers like hair loss from scalp burns, cancer risk and risks to unborn babies in pregnant women. Why risk having a caustic chemical on your head just for straight hair? That aside, many other cosmetic and household products we use also come with risks associated yet we use them anyway because we always have. Soaps, shampoos and cosmetics also contain many allergens and parabens which have been linked to cancer yet we go on using them.
This may be a very naive view of things but when I was around 10 I asked my mum if I could get my hair relaxed. She refused saying that I could have it done when I was thirteen. When I was finally old enough, on the night before we were due to go to the salon to relax my hair, I was so excited I could barely sleep. I was excited not because of any socio-political reason but because it would make my hair look different. Just the same way I would get excited about wearing a brand new outfit to a party I was invited to. By the same token, I was ecstatic to see my natural hair grow when I decided to transition a few years ago. Not for any other reason than my hair would look different.
In previous generations it is possible that there was a slight element of self hate that made many women opted for relaxers as there was the conception that straight hair was more’ hygienic’. Silly I know! However in current generations girls from a young age relax their hair because it is the way things are done. Your mum’s hair is relaxed, your sister’s hair is relaxed so it follows that you will relax yours too right? Others opt for relaxers because they feel it will make their hair more manageable.
Let me pose a question however. If relaxing hair was a sign of self hate then how do we explain all those African women who relax their hair? I am talking here of the women who live in African countries where more than 90% of the population is black. There aren’t many white women with straight locks to envy and want to emulate. Television does not play that much of a part either particularly in rural areas of Africa where electricity is not common. So why do they relax their hair? The answer is simple. For the same reason that brunettes want to be blonde. For the same reasons that we paint our nails, put on lipstick, wear jewellery and even braid our hair. Because it makes us look different and feel different and we think it will enrich our lives somehow. It’s just the human urge to try new things and experiences.
Relaxing your hair is only a problem when you are not doing it for the right reasons. If you are caving in to pressure from work to look ‘presentable’ or to fit in with a perceived image of European beauty then you have a problem!
Let’s be honest here. We are the ones who have made an issue out of the differences between relaxed hair and natural hair. When a white woman gets a curly perm, she’ll probably get comments about her new hairstyle. No such luck for a black woman, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. After all, how many other races call the hair that grows out their scalps anything other than natural? By drawing the battle lines, we have created the problem.
Being natural is also nothing to be particularly proud of. For better or worse, it’s just a hairstyle.
sorry but your statement about african women is not accurate. African women are indeed influenced by western standards of beauty because they DO have televisions and they see white women on TV all the time. And for those in rural areas without electricity , many of them are not relaxed and those who are , are influenced by the women that come from the city. The demand creates an offer and relaxers are sold left and right in many areas of Africa. So by some type of domino effect western standards of beauty do end up influencing the remote areas also.
I see you read our thread on BHM but you aren’t totally impartial, some points were made as to why some women think relaxing is a sign of self hate that you left out of your article.
I left out the bit about why some women think relaxing is a sign of self hate on purpose because there is no universal reason why people relax their hair. When I relaxed mine all those years ago it was simply because I wanted something different and nothing else. I cannot speak for everyone but relaxing is only a sign of self hate depending on the reason one does it eg, to fit in with caucasian friends or whatever. In truth however, it’s impossible for any black woman (or man) to be totally impartial on the subject. Relaxing or not relaxing is always going to be a controversial issue.
I do agree with the response… There is often a lot of self hate involved in straightening the hair and often the women believing in straight hair are not even conscious of it. When a black woman straighten the hair of a 3 year old lil girl, i believe that no excuse she would come up with will make me see anything else than a troubled person in total disconnect with her origins, and totally lacking self respect for her color. No excuse in the world… I accept straight hair Only if a woman is confident with her natural hair, and does not utter stereotypical degrading comments about natural hair…. Other than that anything else would tell me that I am facing a troubled black woman with deep identity issues.
“Sorry” is also right about the third world, the same self hatred exist there about hair type and skin complexion… Traveling and watching more afrocentric content would enlight us on a lot of misconceptions we have abut Blacks around the world… Colonizations has crreated a worldwide Black mess, education is important to reverse the miseducation and self hatred ongoing process created and perfected centuries ago…
Before you ask, I’m Cameroonian and lived there for most of my life. You say “in current generations young girls relax their hair because it is the way things are done”. First of all, young girls do not relax their hair- their mothers/guardians do, and why? Because it makes it “easier” for them to deal with that little girl’s hair. Who wants to comb out nappy hair for hours on end anyway? Girls as young as 3 years old (from what I know) will get their hair relaxed, and even though they hate the sensation of a burning scalp, it is preferable to not having “good” hair like all the other little girls at school.
Black women hold a very unique place in American society. I don’t think many other black women would disagree with me on my assessment that we are generally the lowest on the “totem pole”. I believe, that in America, Black people as a whole have generally been encouraged by society to embrace self-loathing. It has been encouraged to separate ourselves from our unique culture, language, food, etc. On top of that, we’re women stuck in a fairly staunch patriarchal society. It seems that the only way we win is to blend in and quit our “whining”.
Now, here’s where I get into the hair argument. What I hope every Black woman strives to achieve, and what I want us all to achieve is healthy hair, no matter the style. However, you CANNOT say, and it is in my honest opinion, disrespectful of some of our sisters to say, that going natural is not a political statement. If you had written instead that it seems a little ridiculous for there to be such an uproar whenever a Black woman announces that she is going to revert to the way her hair was when she was born, then yes, I would have agreed with you and probably taken more kindly to your article. But when you say in this day and age that going natural is about as remarkable as putting one’s hair into a ponytail, you are denying the women that do so the respect they deserve for daring society to “deal” with them, as they are, without blending in to make others feel comfortable. It is hard to deny that silky, manageable hair is widely desired in our society. I do not fault the Black women who genuinely want to relax their hair for a new look. I think that it is perfectly fine. However, it is SO rare to find a Black woman who wants to straighten her hair SOLELY because it is a new look, and not because it is a way to finally have the hair of her dreams, i.e. silky, glossy, straight, straight, straight. It is the attitude in which they do this that is so damaging to ALL Black women, especially the other women who may choose not to partake in it.
Bottom line: If some Black women want to rid themselves of their “nappy” hair, fine. It is absolutely their prerogative. But DO NOT take away from the courageousness of other women who choose to go natural by deeming it “just another hairstyle”. Yeah, it’s the hair we’re born with- it doesn’t seem like it should be such a big deal. However, as long as this country is afflicted with the notion of the perfection of Euro-centric beauty, “going natural” will continue to be a political statement. Don’t get it twisted.
Anita, clearly you take the same view in my argument but have come to a different conclusion. When I speak of rural women in African countries I go by the ones I have seen with my own eyes and not some guesswork. The younger generations do relax their hair, not every single one of them of course. That would be a generilization which is wrong. Saying that they relax their hair so that they can finally have the silky hair of their dreams is a bit far fetched. They are not exposed to western standards as much as a city girl! In any event, the reason I had my hair relaxed was because it was different from my natural hair, that’s all.
I am also natural now because I my hair is stronger natural and I am currently enjoying it curly, anyway I digress. What I am trying to say is that if a person has chosen a hairstyle soley to make a point (political or otherwise), then there’s something wrong with the picture! I sounds to me like rebellion and rebels must surely grow up at some point and choose to remain natural because they enjoy having their hair that way or relax it when they realize that not many people were paying attention to the little drama they created themselves.
By some of the responses I have received to this article, it seems to prove my point that we are the ones who have created the problem by drawing the battle lines on the ground. To me it just shows a subcouscoius guilt ladies have in relaxing their hair which brings on the underserved pride for going natural.
My mother in law has always worn her hair natural, she says she prefers to ‘wear it as God gave it to her’. It couldn’t get any simper, no uneccesary pride at being natural or looking down on ladies who choose to relax. If only everyone could see things as simply.
black women who wear their hair natural for me not only looks much more healthy and tend to have a far more varied style than the stright,stright stright plastic greasy unnatural or after the burnout yamout heres a wig for your woes a women that knows her self will learn about hair care and not hair mis management check out the glossy mag on offer to black women so called hair care most black women saloons do not do hair care very few cause they are using products that are manufactured by white companys for a fast buck of the backs of black women who has an image issue's that has been programmed by the media via the african holocust mindset .burning a three year olds hair and not trying to instill her self beauty is tatamount to abuse of image self worth and a disregard of self love and sound education, finance,and health.
No one is checking black women's hair but black folk! Let's stop the hating! I for one agree with the Author Alma,
it is just a hairstyle. Let's say you are natural, but straighten all the time. You are still altering your original hair texture,
whether it is straighter when wet (chemically treated) or not. I agree every woman should know their original hair texture,
but come on "selling out." I have a white friend who tans weekly, perms her hair, and has not seen her original hair color
in years. Yet, no one calls her anything but natural. Let a black woman perm without doing anything else and she is trying
to be white. My mother in law rocked a fro for years and is now relaxed in a short style. She was a great women with an
afro, and she is still a great woman with a relaxer. Black people need to stop letting superficial things divide us. We need
to focus on the alarming murder rate in our communities. I have never seen a relaxed female doing a drive-by! Move on
folks, and concentrate on the important things in life!
Ha! You got my point of view spot on!
AMEN! Best comment so far. I have went from natural to relaxed and back and forth again. Black females need to grab on to reality and hold on tight. It is a simple change in appearance. The same people talking about “Be black be natural” I dont see them walking around in moo moos with baskets balanced on their heads. Get over yourselves. Weomen go natural for different reasons and relaxed for their own reasons. Mind your business aslong as you are striving for healthy hair that is the bottom line. SHUT UP! Go to college or something. Gosh!
Okay, I know I'm a little late with this article but it was definitely a good read. @Cournita, I couldn't agree more. I am currently natural, almost 2 years. AND I'm getting ready to go back to relax hair because I want a cute short crop hairstyle. My lifestyle at the moment doesn't allow for the time it takes to manage and style natural hair. Like India Arie sang, " I am not my hair" and that goes for both spectrums. Love me with natural and love me relaxed. Get to know me, not how I were my hair, if my lifestyle says I'm a sellout, then call me one but not because I choose to relax my hair. Yes, I agree that natural hair is healthier for your scalp because I witnessed it for myself. As Cournita said, there are more pertinent issues to concentrate on than each other's hair and who that woman is because she chose to be relaxed or natural. There are plenty of issues in our communities that can be addressed and attended to besides black women's hair.
I know right? We have countless other issues and we shouldnt have the time to hate on each other because of our hair!
First things first, we are ALL capable of perversion. By that I mean we all have been effected by the diaspora, slavery, Jim Crow, and colonialism. Every Black African person! We have all partaken in some form of self hatred due to being Black. You can say you haven't but you're lying to yourself. I say that in reference to the authors consistent statement that she only relaxed her hair for a new look.
The other issue is health. I am a natural hair stylist doing natural hair for over 12 years. I was born and raised in Africa and in the US. I see women everyday in my salon who have sickly scalps from chemical damage, broken and thinning hair from relaxing for a decade or more. I get referrals from dermatologists who tell them YOU CANNOT RELAX ANYMORE! They come to me reluctantly to save what they have left! Black women are loosing their hair at alarming rates and it's not older women going through menopause anymore. My clients are younger and younger. 21-35 year olds. These women have known that their hair was being eaten away, but continued to relax. WHY would you put a chemical directly on your scalp that has pores and is very close to your brain, when stylists wear GLOVES when applying it to protect their hands???!! Yes it's true that we are surrounded by harsh chemicals everyday, but it's your choice whether you want to continue damaging your skin and scalp in order to have a "New Style" or whether you have the self control to remove those toxins from your body just like it's up to you whether you use chemical laundry detergent or a more natural version. 25 years from now the effects of relaxing your for decades upon decades will come to light and I believe that Black women will STILL continue to use them!! What does that really say about us?
India Arie is right, You are not your hair, but whatever hair you do have should be HEALTHY. Would you put relaxer on you face and body? Of course not so why the hell would you put it on your scalp which is ALSO YOUR SKIN? These are the basic questions that I try to get people to understand and answer. If the author really felt that relaxed or natural she's just changing her hair then she wouldn't have been compelled to write this article in the manner in which she did. Black men and women would had to be living in a society where the White Euro-centric image wasn't the epitome of beauty, colonization, slavery, Jim crow, and other race based injustices never existed, our mothers, aunts and other female figures did not relax their hair systematically, and we saw consistent positive images of our people, in order to truly say, "Mommy I wanna relax my hair today because I just want to try something new" It's impossible! That's like living in a post 9/11 world and saying that it has no effect on you or those to come in the future.
You spoke on rural Africa. Please remember that Colonialists touched every part of Africa including rural Africa. Why do you think that in a remote village in Burkina Faso a family would have a worn and torn picture of a white Jesus hanging on the wall?!!? African women have been adorning and changing up their hair styles for centuries without trying to emulate caucasian hair. Straightening our hair came directly out of trying to embrace a White ideal. Christianity and Islam effected the ways that Africans viewed themselves. It doesn't take much when your oppressor is telling you that what you are and what you believe is not good enough, you eventually start to believe it.
Why do tons of African women use skin lightening creams? Because they want another look? They wanna go light for the summer?? C'mon people putting a caustic chemical on your hair is NOT SMART! I don't care if your hair is bouncing, behaving, and "healthy" now, you're still applying the same ingredient that's in a bottle of NAIR to your scalp! the words "Healthy" and "Chemicals relaxers" are NOT synonymous
I don't want to see you in my chair begging me to help you disguise the bald spot that will not grow back.
As difficult as it is for you to believe, when I relaxed my hair it WAS just for a new hairstyle, no different than when I wanted cornrows or braids. When you are 13 years old you don't really understand the concept of permanence and it would not have registered that I was making a permanent change to my hair. To be honest, nor would I have cared at the time. I just want to be the voice of reason here, why are we hating on ladies that choose to relax their hair? I think some of this self-hate sterotypes you put out are a bit flawed particularly in rural africa. Even if they watch caucasians on tv and are trying to emulate them on some level with their hair it does not explain everything that has changed in their part of the world. Many of them eat white bread and unnatural fats like vegetable oil etc. Why do they do this when it is not the food that their ancestors ate? Because it is convenient for them at that particualr point in time.
I argue that some women choose to relax because it is convenient and not because of self-hatred!