Reader Question:

I’m relaxed and can’t seem to get my hair to grow so I keep it under quickweaves and it still doesn’t promote hair growth. My hair is short so I have to keep relaxing it to look decent. Im soo stressed my hair is changing my whole life its making me very depressed I need help please respond. Im currently using pantene for n/r and designer essentials for a relaxer. I’ve tried sulfate free products and they just left my hair dry and brittle. I’ve tried everything and now I’m lost. Thanks soo much and please respond.

Our Answer:

I’m sorry to hear about your hair troubles. It sounds a lot like your hair is overprocessed (dry and brittle). Don’t worry though, there is definitely hope but it’s not going to be easy or quick.

Many relaxers give a 20 minute window in which to apply it and while it may be accurate for an average black women, we are not all the same and 20 minutes may be way too much for some. In my case, I found out that a mild texturizer applied for 5 minutes more or less did the same thing as a relaxer. Now considering that I thought that my hair was resistant and I used super relaxers in the past applied for about half an hour, you can imagine how damaged my hair was. Relaxing bone straight is unhealthy and more often than not, does not work because hair will usually be left with a bit of curl anyway!

Now I’m not saying that you have to go natural like I did but you may want to rethink your relaxing routine. Make sure that you are stretching your relaxers to at least once every 12 weeks and not 6 weeks like most stylists suggest. This way you are leaving little room for error in terms of overlapping your relaxer. If you absolutely must wear your hair straight and cannot consider going natural then you may want to consider texlaxing instead of relaxing (Read this article for more information about texlaxing: http://blackhairinformation.com/relaxed-hair/relaxing-texturizing-and-texlaxing-black-hair/). This way you preserve much of your natural hair’s strength while being able to wear it straight easily by rollersetting or flat ironing.

You may also have to accept that if your hair is in fact overprocessed now, you will be starting from scratch and all you can do at the moment is to keep the hair your have on your head long enough to allow healthier hair to grow. You can save your strands by keeping up with protein treatments (if you are not protein sensitive) as well as moisturizing constantly. The best moisturizers for relaxed hair are the ones with glycerine listed in the first few ingredients. The ones that fit the bill perfectly are the ones made for curly perms like wave noveau or s curl. Don’t worry, it won’t give your hair the ‘wet look’ but glycerine attracts moisture from the atmosphere and keeps hair soft all day.

Without knowing your hair regimen I can only give you so much advice but I would encourage you to watch hair care videos on our site or youtube. There is this excellent lady who’s done a comprehensive 3 videos on how she texlaxes her own hair and she’s got beautiful thick hair (even with chemicals): http://blackhairinformation.com/hair-care-videos/how-i-texlax-pt-13/

I wish you the best of luck and hope that all my advice at least gives you a starting point on your new hair care journey.

Ps – You can also visit the hair care forums for more advice. A very busy free one is http://talk.blackhairmedia.com/default.asp

Reader Question:

This site is WONDERFUL!!! There is so much information on here, I am so excited to see how my natural hair benefits!!! Question- can you direct me to some extra detangling tips? I am losing way too much hair in the process. I’ve tried the wide tooth comb, the denman brush, detangling with conditioner, combing from tip to root… Not sure what I’m doing wrong, but I end up with hair everywhere no matter how careful I am. Please help!!!

Our Answer:

Detangling is definitely an issue especially if you are a 4a natural like myself so I completely understand where you are coming from! If you are losing long hairs in your wash with the little white bud still attached then I wouldn’t worry too much about that as it is shed hair that you are losing and this is natural in the hair cycle. If most of the strands are short however then it is breakage and you may need to check your hair’s moisture-protein balance. If you haven’t had a protein treatment in a while then start with that to stop breakage in it’s tracks and vice versa if you haven’t had a moisturizing deep conditioning treatment.

If the conditioner detangling method is not suiting you very well, you may want to try a detangling shampoo. Because of shampoo’s ability to break water molecules down when it foams, it makes the water ‘wetter’ so it’s better able to penetrate crevices in your hair making it easier to detangle. Don’t do this with any old shampoo though, a detangling one is best. Remember, if your hair is very thick then don’t attempt to wash it while it is  ‘all out’, always wash it in 6-8 braids or twists so that you are detangling small sections at a time.

Alternatively you can try my method for washing your hair with no detangling. It depends on how you wear your hair from day to day. If your hair is already relatively stretched and you are getting ready to wash it, you can braid/twist your hair in about 10 or more sections finger detangling and stretching while you braid/twist. While still damp, take down one section at a time, finger detangle and seal with an oil or moisturizer and move on to styling. I generally just rebraid each section after sealing for a braid out. With this method I am usually able to bypass detangling altogether and only use my combs eventually if I am going to straighten!

“MY GEL” IS A GREAT ALL-IN-ONE PRODUCT TO DEFINE THOSE CURLS KINKS COILS & IS MADE OF ALL NATURAL INGREDIENTS… No need for a leave-in conditioner underneath. All you need is damp (not soaking wet) hair. “My Gel” is a water-based (water-soluble) non-hardening, non-crunchy, moisturizing gel that does not cause buildup (a CG-approved product). Ok, Call me the “My Gel” Poster Child… It works great to slick edges, and it does wonders defining all types of curls, keeping them shiny, soft, and frizz-free. Ingredients are as follows: oils of coconut, olive, safflower, peach, basil & aloe; african shea butter; extracts of calendula flowers, coltsfoot, horsetail, birch, neem, rosemary & onions; beeswax; plant proteins, vegetable placenta extract, biotin, d-panthenol, vegetable glycerine, essential oil of rose & natural preservatives with vitamis a, b, c & e For those of you that are concerned about this product containing beeswax… I wanted to let you know that I did the finger test, and the product rinsed away “squeeky” clean using only water, so that tells me that it doesn’t cause buildup. No trace of beeswax residue, completely water-soluble. I know that Lorraine Massey (the author of Curly Girl handbook) has a product line called DevaCurl and one her products, Set It Free conditioning mist, has beeswax in it. While using the CG (no poo) method, I’ve been using the My Gel to slick my edges, & I’ve had no problems, whatsoever, with buildup or dryness. I was able to remove …

zippyspring asked, so here it is… Results on dry hair. I chose the “heavy” gel curl definition method on my whole head, and I love the results! Stay tuned for (PART 3 of 4)… Day 2 results with a spritz to reactivate product. (PART 1 of 4): www.youtube.com (PART 3 of 4): www.youtube.com (PART 4 of 4): www.youtube.com

In this vid, I demonstrate 2 different curl definition methods… First: The “light” gel method which may work well for you 3a,3b,3c folks… Second: The “heavy” gel method which works well for us 4a,4b folks. (PART 2 of 4): www.youtube.com (PART 3 of 4): www.youtube.com (PART 4 of 4) www.youtube.com Products used in this vid: Water Leave-in conditioner (containing: Water, TJ Nourish Spa conditioner, 3 oils) EcoStyler (clear) gel Castor oil I personally like how my hair came out using the “heavy” gel (second) method. In (PART 2 of 4), I will show you pics of my whole head styled using the “heavy” method and hair will be dried. What do you think? btw, I did some major editing to get this vid under 10 minutes… I’m tired!